Co-Parenting Plan for
Parents of
Mission Statement:
Our goals for our co-parenting relationship are:
We are committed to sharing responsibility for CHILDREN and have developed the following co-parenting plan to clearly define what each of us can reasonably expect of the other and provide for an exchange of information and shared decision-making. Our commitment is to flexibly provide continuity and stability in the lives of our child. We further agree that each of us is an important presence in the children’s lives and despite our differences; each of us recognizes the importance of the parenting role of the other. Our intention is to share their non-school time in a manner that insures their frequent and continuing contact with both parents.
In order to implement this we agree to the following:
Communication:
1. We plan to communicate on a regular basis regarding CHILDREN’s needs and welfare so they are not a messenger and therefore do not feel responsible for any misunderstanding that may arise.
2. We will exert every effort to maintain free access and unhampered contact between our CHILDREN and the other parent. Neither of us will do anything which would estrange CHILDREN from the other parent or which would distort their opinion of their father or mother or would impair their love and respect for each of them.
3. We agree to set aside time after CHILDREN have gone to bed to discuss matters concerning them. The conversations will be confined to parent/child issues.
4. We agree to be civil and courteous to each other in front of CHILDREN at all times.
5. We both acknowledge the importance to CHILDREN of continued contact with both parents. We agree that each parent shall be entitles to reasonable telephone communication with CHILDREN. Therefore, each parent will encourage and allow them to call the other parent at appropriate times Each parent will respect the kids’ right to privacy during such telephone conversations.
Communication Guidelines Mutually Established During the Collaborative Process:
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Information:
1. We will provide the other parent with the address and telephone number of the children’s residence while with him or her. Reasonable notice will be provided for any anticipated travel, and itineraries will be provided.
2. We agree to exchange information regarding all of CHILDREN’s activities, including but not limited to health, education, general welfare, and activities. We are in agreement this should be done in a manner that is not intrusive on the other parent’s personal life.
3. We agree we will provide a means of being reached for emergency purposes when we are traveling without CHILDREN.
4. We agree that any disagreements regarding proposed travel plans will be addressed in collaboration at the request of either.
CO-PARENTING AGREEMENTS:
Mother and father have agreed that in order to function most effectively as parents to CHILDREN they will commit themselves to the following agreements. They agree to re-visit the agreements… annually/as needed.
I. CUSTODY AGREEMENT
Mother and father will share joint legal and physical custody. The parents acknowledge and agree that each is an important and continuing presence in CHILDREN’s life.
II. JOINT DECISIONS REGARDING THE CHILDREN’S WELFARE
PARENTS agree that they will consult with each other regarding major decisions affecting CHILDREN’ development and well-being. There will be joint consent with regard to the following issues:
A. Education
The parents will meet together and confer about place, situation and experience for CHILDREN’S education and will make joint decisions regarding choice of school, tutoring, or placement in special programs. The parents will share information regarding CHILDREN’s educational progress.
The parents will notify the school that both parents should be sent information and notices of meetings and parent-teacher conferences issued by the school. If the school is unable or unwilling to comply, the parent receiving notices will supply a copy to the other parent in a timely manner or relay the information by telephone message or email.
B. Medical/Dental
Each parent is empowered to authorize emergency medical/dental care for CHILDREN. The parents will notify each other immediately in the event there is a medical emergency with the kids.
Except under emergency circumstances, the parents will make mutual decisions with regard to any surgical or medical procedures, cosmetic repairs, psychotherapy, orthodontia, and treatment of major illnesses. In the event they are unable to reach a decision based on a professional recommendation, they have agreed to seek a second independent professional opinion.
The parents will share responsibility for routine scheduled physician and dental visits. Each parent will be notified of any scheduled physician and dental visits, and will disclose or report the outcome of such visits to the other. Any changes in physicians or dentists will be discussed in advance. They will exchange information regarding prescribed medication.
C. Religion
The parents understand that each may take CHILDREN to the place of worship of their choice to expose her to religious traditions.
D. Recreational Activities, Lessons and Camps
The parents will make joint decisions regarding CHILDREN’s formally scheduled recreational activities, summer camps, and lessons. They agree to share the cost of CHILDREN’s activities, lessons, and camps. Any additional activity may be scheduled on the day that the parent scheduling the activity has custody of the children unless schedule changes are made by mutual agreement. If parents do not agree or support the same type of recreational activities, either parent has the ability to enroll and pay for any extracurricular activity for the kids provided it does not impinge upon the other parent’s time with CHILDREN .
E. Travel Outside the United States
The parents agree that neither parent will travel outside the United States with CHILDREN without the expressed written consent of the other parent. The CHILDREN’S passports will be held by________.
F. Travel Itineraries:
Each parent agrees to provide the other parent, in advance, an itinerary for vacation or work related travel with CHILDREN, including dates, times of flights, flight numbers and telephone numbers where CHILDREN can be contacted during the trip.
G. Notification of Parent Location:
The parents will provide a contact number whenever they will be away for a period of greater than 24 hours, so that they may be contacted in an emergency. The parents agree to notify each other of any changes in address or phone number.
H. Daily Decision-Making and Autonomy
The parents agree to honor one another’s parenting style, privacy and authority.
Day-to-day decisions shall be in the hands of the parent with whom the children are at the time. Neither parent shall interfere with the other on day-to-day decisions, nor make plans or arrangements that would infringe upon the other parent’s authority or times with CHILDREN without the express agreement of the other parent.
III. BASIC MONTHLY PARENTING SCHEDULE
Each parent will be responsible for the logistics for the kids on their day. If it is a vacation day or a kid is sick and not at school, arrangements are to be made by the custodial parent that day.
The parents agree to inform each other in advance if they cannot make their appointments due to scheduling conflicts, as soon as they know. If either parent becomes sick, that parent will notify the other person as far as possible in advance. Parents agree to do their best to reschedule, but realize that the more notification there is about scheduling changes the easier it will be to amend the schedule.
Weekly schedule:
IV. SCHEDULE OF VACATIONS AND HOLIDAYS
Monday holidays
Thanksgiving:
Christmas vacation:
Christmas eve:
Christmas day:
President’s/ski week:
Easter and spring vacation:
V. Birthdays:
Each parent will have the option to spend time with CHILDREN on their birthdays.
The parents will decide each year how they will participate in CHILDREN’s birthday celebration. The parents may decide to host separate celebrations for CHILDREN or participate together and share in the cost of a celebration for the birthdays.
On each parent’s birthday, CHILDREN will spend the day with that parent unless otherwise is agreed upon by PARENTS.
V. OTHER AGREEMENTS
A. First Option for Child Care:
When either parent is unable to provide care as regularly scheduled, for a period of up to ____hours, the other parent will be offered the option of caring for the children. If this parent is unable to accommodate, then the parent who is scheduled to care for the children is responsible for making alternate arrangements. Contact information of any childcare providers will be provided to the other parent.
B. Moving
If either parent moves to a location which will affect the other parent’s ability to see CHILDREN in the manner described above, the parents have agreed to review and renegotiate the parenting plan no later than 60 days prior to a move.
C. Other Relationships:
Parents will encourage and foster relationships of CHILDREN with family members and extended family members. If either of the parents should become incapacitated by reason of illness or other misfortune, or if either of the parents should die, the remaining parent will ensure that CHILDREN shall continue to have contact with the extended family of the incapacitated or deceased parent.
D. Other Provisions for Decision Making
The following special provisions apply to decision-making:
If either parent is impaired by any condition that may affect care giving, parental responsibility or judgment in a manner that may affect the well-being of CHILDREN, then the other parent may assume sole decision making authority for the duration of the impairment.
E. Problem Solving and Future Disputes
In the event that Mother and/or Father feel that the co-parenting schedule needs to be amended, they agree to discuss option together. If there is a dispute in the future between PARENTS which they are unable to resolve on their own, they agree to use a collaborative or mediation process, specifically with_________, in an effort to reach resolution of such dispute prior to initiating any adversarial proceedings. Both parents will make an appointment within one week of written request. The cost will be shared. No change of circumstances is required to revisit or modify the parenting plan.
Declaration:
In the event the parents are in agreement with the terms as described above, they may execute this declaration and use this form as the basis of their agreement. Parents are advised to discuss the contents herein with their lawyers and obtain independent advice.
We each make the following declaration in accepting this plan:
I declare that this plan has been developed in good faith and is in the best interest of the children, that the statements herein are true and correct and that we agree to abide accordingly.
Date
Date
RIGHTS OF CHILDREN OF DIVORCE
CHILDREN have the right to:
1. Continue to love both parents without guilt or disapproval (subtle or overt) by either parent or other relatives.
2. Be repeatedly reassured that the divorce is not their fault.
3. Be reassured they are safe and their needs will be provided for.
4. Have a special place for their own belongings at both parent’s residences.
5. Visit both parents regardless of what the adults in the situation feel and regardless of convenience or money situations.
6. Express anger and sadness in their own way, according to age and personality (not have to give justification for their feelings or have to cope with trying to be talked out of their feelings by adults).
7. Not be messengers between parents; not to carry notes, legal papers, money or requests between parents.
8. Not make adult decisions, including where they will live, where and when they will be picked up or dropped off, or who is to blame.
9. Love as many people as they choose without being made to feel guilty or disloyal. (Loving and being loved by many people is good for CHILDREN , there is not a limit on the number of people a child can love.)
10. Continue to be kids, i.e., not take on adult duties and responsibilities or become a parent’s special confidant, companion or comforter (i.e., not to hear repeatedly about financial problems or relationship difficulties).
11. Stay in contact with relatives, including grandparents and special family friends.
12. Not be on an airplane, train or bus on major holidays for the convenience of adults.
13. Have teachers and school informed about the new status of their family.
14. Have time with each parent doing activities that create a sense of closeness and special memories.
15. Have a daily and weekly routine that is predictable and can be verified by looking at a schedule on a calendar in a system understandable to the child. (For example: a green line represents the time with dad and a purple line represents the scheduled time with mom, etc.)
16. Participate in sports, special classes or clubs that support their unique interests and have adults that will get them to these events, on time without guilt or shame.
17. Contact the other parent and have phone conversations without eavesdropping or tape-recording.
18. Ask questions and have them answered respectfully with age-appropriate answers that do not include blaming or belittlement of anyone.
19. Be exposed to each parent’s religious ideas (without shame), hobbies, interests, and tastes in food.
20. Have consistent and predictable boundaries in each home. (Although the rules in each home may differ significantly, each parent’s set of rules needs to be predictable within their household.)
21. Be protected from hearing adult arguments and disputes.
22. Have parents communicate (even if only in writing) about their medical treatment, psychological treatment, educational issues, accidents and illnesses.
23. Not be interrogated upon return from the other parent’s home or asked to spy in the other parent’s home.
24. Own pictures of both parents.
25. Choose to talk with a special adult about their concerns and issues (counselor, therapist, or special friend).
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