C. Learning from Effective Student Responses

C. Learning from Effective Student Responses

Sample 2A

In his letter to Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Banneker, an African-American, argues his case against the evils of slavery. He believes that all men, regardless of race, has the fundamental right to be free and suggests to Jefferson, one of the most prominent political figures of the time, to put his beliefs into action.

Banneker believes that slavery is an ethical issue as all humans should be entitled to the same rights and privileges, especially in a nation that asserted liberty for all. He establishes historical precedence as he recalls the period of time when American colonists had been subjected to “the arms and tyranny of the British crown.” In this Revolutionary Era, the colonists fought for freedom and natural rights, which Banneker argues should be applied to all races. He insists that the freedom enjoyed by white men was a “blessing of heaven” indicating that liberty was not to be determined by white men, but rather by God’s will. Banneker contends that liberty is entitled to everyone “by nature,” making the enslavement of African Americans a fundamental wrong inflicted among those who were not of Anglo descent. Liberty, according to Banneker, should be enjoyed by all races as it is determined by God and nature, aspects of life that white men should not exert their control over. Thus, the enslavement of African Americans is inherently contradicting God’s will.

Aside from presenting slavery as an ethical issue, Banneker argues against slavery by appealing to Jefferson’s own beliefs. Throughout the letter, Banneker reuses the word “sir” to establish his respect and perhaps even reverence for the politician. Although Banneker acknowledges Jefferson’s authority over him, it is clear that this authority stemmed from Jefferson’s political accomplishments rather than his Anglo heritage. Banneker delineates the acts Jefferson has made against slavery including the creation of a doctrine that “is worthy to be recorded and remembered in all succeeding ages” as it analyzed “the injustice of [the institution] of slavery.” However, Banneker also points out the hypocrisy of Jefferson’s actions, because as the great politician preached against slavery, he “at the same time,” owned slaves himself, committing and “found guilty of that most criminal act” of enslaving others. Banneker later uses negation as he acknowledges that Jefferson’s knowledge of slavery “is too extensive to need a recital,” in a sense trusting that Jefferson will see the end to his hypocrisy and free his slaves. While Banneker praises Jefferson’s previous work and denounces the irony of Jefferson’s participation in the institution of slavery, he proposes a call to action for Jefferson “and all others to wean [themselves] from those narrow prejudices.” By making the matter of slavery and liberty personal to the receiver of his letter, Banneker is more successful in persuading Jefferson to acknowledge that while believing in freedom for all men is important, action is just as significant.

Benjamin Banneker denounces slavery as a moral wrong, indicating that the power to choose who should be free lies in God’s hands, and God has willed all humans to be socially and politically equal. Yet Banneker also understands that in order to fix this injustice, powerful men must set examples for others by promoting freedom themselves and thus wills Jefferson to power by trusting him to make the right decision on slavery.

The essay on the previous page received a score of 9. Complete the following activities in order to see why.

Additional questions

1. How many times does the student refer to Banneker by name? ______

2. In what line does the student bring in outside knowledge that he/she possesses? ______

3. What important antithesis or juxtaposition of ideas does the student present in line 31?

4. Explain how the introduction and conclusion are unified.

ORGANIZING YOUR RHETORICAL ANALYSIS ESSAY

Consider a structured outline that includes an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion or concluding statement. Body paragraphs can be arranged by device, purpose, or piece (for paired passages). As a general rule, those papers organized by purpose are more successful at keeping the BIG question in focus.

Organized by Purpose
I.  Introduction
TAG
Thesis
II.  Relationship One
Device
Explanation
Device
Explanation
Device
Explanation
III.  Relationship Two
Device
Explanation
Device
Explanation
Device
Explanation
IV.  Conclusion
Restate thesis
Provide universal insight / Organized by Device
I.  Introduction
TAG
Thesis
II.  Device One
Relationship One
Example
Explanation
Relationship Two
Example
Explanation
III.  Device Two
Relationship One
Example
Explanation
Relationship Two
Example
Explanation
IV.  Conclusion
Restate thesis
Provide universal insight / Organized by Chronology
I.  Introduction
TAG
Thesis
II.  First Part of the Passage
Relationship
Device
Explanation
Relationship
Device
Explanation
III.  Second Part of the Passage
Relationship
Device
Explanation
Relationship
Device
Explanation
IV.  Conclusion
Restate thesis
Provide universal insight

Organize your pre-writing notes into one of these outlines or a similar scheme.

Developed by Elizabeth Davis, Westwood High School