You can be happy no matter what!

Principles for keeping your life in perspective

Dr Richard Carlson has introduced us to the five principles of keeping our life in perspective. By practicing and implementing these principles, our most natural state of mind will emerge, being that of contentment and joy!!

Five Principles

1. Thoughts / thinking

  • Thinking is an ability – a function of our own minds
  • Thinking occurs automatically and consciously, over several days or within a passing second
  • Thinking creates our psychological experience of life
  • It is not something that happens to us, but something WE DO to ourselves!
  • Thoughts are clustered into our ‘thought system’ – a pattern of thought linked together into concepts, beliefs, expectations and opinions – it contains memories and conditioning of the past, in fact, all the information we have accumulated over our lifetime
  • Thought systems are stubborn – they are constantly looking for proof that they are true AND finding it! Our beliefs will always make perfect sense to us within our own thought system
  • Instead of originating from our ‘thought system’ the aim is for our thoughts to originate from our ‘natural state of mind’, where our minds are not cluttered with thoughts of the past, the future or judgments about how we are doing (children possess this state of mind regularly, i.e. to experience little on our mind)

2. Feelings

  • A strong relationship exists between our thoughts and our feelings: every negative (or positive) feeling is a direct result of our own thoughts
  • Our feelings and emotions serve as a built-in biofeedback mechanism (barometer) that lets us know how we are doing from a psychological standpoint
  • This feeling barometer allows us to make a mental adjustment when we don’t feel happy….thus when our thoughts are unhealthy
  • The only value in negative feelings is to let us know that we are seeing life in a distorted manner, i.e. thinking directly from our ‘thought system’ (our habits, beliefs, the tapes that play in our heads) and not looking at life from our natural state of mind

3. Mood

  • Our level of awareness that we are doing the thinking is constantly changing. This constant shifting in our awareness of ourselves as the thinker is what is known as changing ‘moods’

OR

  • Our own understanding that thinking is a voluntary function, fluctuates from moment to moment; these variances are called moods
  • There is no value in a low mood, except to remind you that you are thinking in a dysfunctional manner and shouldn’t seriously listen to yourself at present

4. Separate Realities

We don’t see things as they are; we see them as we are… - Anais Nin

  • Every human being has their own unique thought system – formed through a process of thinking depending on the input they received (by our parents, our backgrounds, our interpretations of events, our memory and own perception etc)
  • No matter how easily you see something, or how obviously true a situation appears, someone else will see it differently and be equally certain of that position (due to our unique thought systems, who don’t like to be threatened or tampered with)
  • These differences in our thought systems prohibit us to see things exactly the same way as someone else does
  • When you understand the fact of separate realities and its innocence (based on our own conditioning and beliefs), there is no logical reason to take personally what others say and do

5. The Present Moment

  • Learning to keep our attention in the present moment, by paying attention to our feelings, allows us to find contentment and inner peace (without the distraction of negative thinking)
  • Living out of the present moment is fertile ground for worry, anxiety, regret and guilt
  • You give power to your past (thoughts) if you focus on ittoo much, thus move away from focusing on the past and the negative feelings that accompany your negative thoughts of the past
  • Your past is nothing more than the thoughts you have about it, i.e. simple memory
  • Bring their attention back to the here and now (in this moment), therefore freeing you from the compulsion to follow each train of thought that enters your mind
  • Try to see memory for what it is – simple, harmless thoughts passing through your mind – rather than a present reality that must be analysed and battled against
  • As thoughts enter your consciousness, you have a choice:You can look at them and respond, or simply let them go – It is up to you!
  • When attention is primarily in the present moment, the bulk of your experience comes from a place of wisdom rather than reactivity
  • When in the present moment, you won’t repress or denyanything that is truly relevant – the thoughts and memories you need to grow as a person (even the painful ones) will surface at the appropriate time: when you have theability to handle them and the inner resources to know what to do with the information you receive ( = wisdom)

How do I go about experiencing more contentment and joy in my life?

  • Realise that WE create our own thoughts, therefore WEcan change negative thoughts to positive ones
  • Negative thoughts have no power to hurt you, they are simply thoughts that you have the ability to change
  • Create a healthy relationship to your thinking, i.e. have your thoughts, but don’t ‘run with them’ and allow them to upset you – by focusing on certain thoughts, YOU give power to them
  • Dismiss negative / dysfunctional / unhealthy thoughts – they don’t serve your needs of contentment
  • Stop the everyday ‘thought attacks’, which will only cause you stress
  • Ceasing to listen to thoughts that are upsetting does notmean pretending that things don’t bother us or need improvement, but a good solution or new ideas will not come about from dysfunctional thinking – only from a positive feeling state
  • The aim is not to control what you think, but to understand thought for what it is: an ability you have to think the thoughts you do
  • By understanding people’s different thought systems (and not even tampering with the content), will frustration reduce in our lives. E.g. what we used to
  • interpret as criticism we are now able to see merely as an opinion from another person with his/her own thought system(separate realities)
  • Become aware of (dysfunctional) thoughts via your‘feelings barometer’
  • Bring thoughts back to the Present Reality (’the here and now’) – thereby maximising your productivity, creativity and ability to accomplish your goals – it takes PRACTICE!
  • Don’t react or confront people when you are in a low mood, wait for a more positive mood before you act
  • The absence of negative thought brings forth a positive feeling of contentment
  • Contentment allows us better access to our wisdom; common sense; creativity and problem solving skills – now you will be better able to explore and generate the best action to specific issues /problems.

Find us @:

Student Wellness Services

28 Rhodes Avenue

Mowbray

Telephone Numbers:

  • 021 650 1017
  • 021 650 1020

Hours:

Mon – Fri 08H30 – 16H30

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