You are a “hoot.” ;-)
Larry Keith Southerland, Esq.
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From: Palmiter, Alan R. [mailto:
Sent: Thursday, September 14, 2006 11:22 AM
To:
Subject: RE: TWENTY DOLLARS (from a friend)
Very nice (but no way is it possible)
Since H is fooling around let’s put him at 3 events/week with W. That means W is salting away about $3000/year. Invested in bank CDs – which have paid no more than 10% over the past 30 years - at most she has accumulated $500,000 in the bank.In all likelihood much less. No way does she have $3 million from her H-related payments.
The only conclusion is that she had been fooling around with others – who probably paid more. And she shot H not in a fit of jealousy, but since he was no longer good for even $20/event and would likely interfere with her lucrative extramarital business. Even old rich people, witness Warren Buffett, are greedy for more.
Balanceyear / Savings / 4% / 5% / 6% / 7% / 8% / 9% / 10%
1 / $3,000 / $3,120 / $3,150 / $3,180 / $3,210 / $3,240 / $3,270 / $3,300
2 / $3,000 / $6,365 / $6,458 / $6,551 / $6,645 / $6,739 / $6,834 / $6,930
3 / $3,000 / $9,739 / $9,930 / $10,124 / $10,320 / $10,518 / $10,719 / $10,923
4 / $3,000 / $13,249 / $13,577 / $13,911 / $14,252 / $14,600 / $14,954 / $15,315
5 / $3,000 / $16,899 / $17,406 / $17,926 / $18,460 / $19,008 / $19,570 / $20,147
6 / $3,000 / $20,695 / $21,426 / $22,182 / $22,962 / $23,768 / $24,601 / $25,462
7 / $3,000 / $24,643 / $25,647 / $26,692 / $27,779 / $28,910 / $30,085 / $31,308
8 / $3,000 / $28,748 / $30,080 / $31,474 / $32,934 / $34,463 / $36,063 / $37,738
9 / $3,000 / $33,018 / $34,734 / $36,542 / $38,449 / $40,460 / $42,579 / $44,812
10 / $3,000 / $37,459 / $39,620 / $41,915 / $44,351 / $46,936 / $49,681 / $52,594
11 / $3,000 / $42,077 / $44,751 / $47,610 / $50,665 / $53,931 / $57,422 / $61,153
12 / $3,000 / $46,881 / $50,139 / $53,646 / $57,422 / $61,486 / $65,860 / $70,568
13 / $3,000 / $51,876 / $55,796 / $60,045 / $64,651 / $69,645 / $75,058 / $80,925
14 / $3,000 / $57,071 / $61,736 / $66,828 / $72,387 / $78,456 / $85,083 / $92,317
15 / $3,000 / $62,474 / $67,972 / $74,018 / $80,664 / $87,973 / $96,010 / $104,849
16 / $3,000 / $68,093 / $74,521 / $81,639 / $89,521 / $98,251 / $107,921 / $118,634
17 / $3,000 / $73,936 / $81,397 / $89,717 / $98,997 / $109,351 / $120,904 / $133,798
18 / $3,000 / $80,014 / $88,617 / $98,280 / $109,137 / $121,339 / $135,055 / $150,477
19 / $3,000 / $86,334 / $96,198 / $107,357 / $119,986 / $134,286 / $150,480 / $168,825
20 / $3,000 / $92,908 / $104,158 / $116,978 / $131,596 / $148,269 / $167,294 / $189,007
21 / $3,000 / $99,744 / $112,516 / $127,177 / $144,017 / $163,370 / $185,620 / $211,208
22 / $3,000 / $106,854 / $121,291 / $137,987 / $157,308 / $179,680 / $205,596 / $235,629
23 / $3,000 / $114,248 / $130,506 / $149,447 / $171,530 / $197,294 / $227,369 / $262,492
24 / $3,000 / $121,938 / $140,181 / $161,594 / $186,747 / $216,318 / $251,103 / $292,041
25 / $3,000 / $129,935 / $150,340 / $174,469 / $203,029 / $236,863 / $276,972 / $324,545
26 / $3,000 / $138,253 / $161,007 / $188,117 / $220,451 / $259,052 / $305,169 / $360,300
27 / $3,000 / $146,903 / $172,208 / $202,584 / $239,093 / $283,016 / $335,905 / $399,630
28 / $3,000 / $155,899 / $183,968 / $217,919 / $259,040 / $308,898 / $369,406 / $442,893
29 / $3,000 / $165,255 / $196,317 / $234,175 / $280,382 / $336,850 / $405,923 / $490,482
30 / $3,000 / $174,985 / $209,282 / $251,405 / $303,219 / $367,038 / $445,726 / $542,830
From: [mailto:
Sent: Wednesday, September 13, 2006 11:13 PM
To:'Alan Palmiter'
Subject: TWENTY DOLLARS (from a friend)
TWENTY DOLLARS
On their wedding night, the young bride
approached her new
husband and asked for $20.00 for their first
lovemaking encounter. In
his highly aroused state, her husband readily
agreed.
This scenario was repeated each time they made
love, for more
than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a
cute way for her to
afford new clothes and other incidentals that
she needed.
Arriving home around noon one day, she was
surprised to find
her husband in a very drunken state.
During the next few minutes, he explained that
his employer
was going through a process of corporate
downsizing, and he had
been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of
59, he'd be able to find
another position that paid anywhere near what
he'd been earning, and
therefore, they
were financially ruined.
Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which
showed more than thirty
years of steady deposits and interest totaling
nearly$1 million. Then she
showed him certificates of deposits issued
by the bank which were worth over $2 million,
and informed him that they
were one of the largest depositors in the bank.
She explained that
for the more than
three decades she had "charged" him for sex,
these holdings had multiplied
and these were the
results of her savings and investments.
Faced with evidence of cash and investments
worth over $3
million, her husband was so astounded he could
barely speak, but
finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If
I'd had any idea what you
were doing, I would have given you all my
business!"
That's when she shot him.
You know, sometimes, men just don't know when
to keep their mouths shut.
______
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