Why Mvparents Works: Positive Parenting

Why MVParents Works: Positive Parenting

Positive parenting may sound like “a nice idea,” but it is also grounded in the scientific study of healthy development. In order for kids to thrive and succeed, research suggests a three-pronged approach for families: a focus on each child, a focus on parenting, and a focus on family strengths.

What’s unique about Search Institute’s approach is that parenting is viewed as a public value, not just a private endeavor.1 Through its countless studies, Search Institute has shown that parents cannot “go it alone.” They need encouragement and assistance to parent well. They need friends, extended family, neighbors, and community supports. When children and teenagers are surrounded by these resources, known as Developmental Assets, they are more likely to grow into caring, responsible adults.

What Research Tells Us about Positive, Quality Parenting

Research on parenting styles offers three major categories of parenting: authoritarian (which focuses on rules and strictness), permissive (which may be either neglectful or rich in love, but lax in rules), and authoritative (which is both loving and firm). Parents are most effective when they adopt the loving, firm authoritative style of parenting.2,3,4

Developmental Assets are one valuable way to create a firm and loving balance within a family. Search Institute researchers have found that kids who experience high levels of assets are more likely to have:

· higher self-esteem

· more social skills

· more friends

· higher achievement in school

· fewer problems with alcohol, smoking, and teenage sexual activity 5

While parents have a role in their child’s development, so do schools, child-care centers, neighbors, before- and after-school activities, congregations, and communities. Unfortunately many families feel isolated or not well connected to these resources. Being an authoritative parent doesn’t mean you have to figure everything out all by yourself. In fact, connecting with other caring adults will make your family stronger.

What Research Tells Us about Strong Families

In the past, most of the research on families focused on what was wrong with them, rather than what was right. Today, the research field is shifting and beginning to examine what makes a family strong. Search Institute, along with organizations such as the Harvard Family Research Project and the Family Strengthening Policy Center, is breaking new ground in the research area of strong families.

Search Institute’s 40 Developmental Assets framework focuses on some of the key aspects of family strengths, such as family support, positive family communication, and family boundaries. Many families use the asset framework not only to raise successful kids, but also to create closer families. For example, families that engage in service to others and spend time together at home find that these experiences strengthen their family life.

What makes a family strong? Search Institute conducted an in-depth report on building strong families and discovered five key findings:

1. Most parents surveyed had little outside support.

2. Most parents lacked a strong relationship with a spouse or partner.

3. Most parents felt successful as parents most of the time.

4. Most parents faced ongoing challenges as parents.

5. Many things that parents say would help them are easy for others to do.6

The study findings focused on what those interviewed suggested would strengthen their families. The parents interviewed in this study clearly showed how job demands, overscheduling, financial pressures, and single parenting make it harder to build a strong family.

Search Institute has also studied families in distressed communities, learning what they need to have a strong family. By interviewing families in lower-income neighborhoods, researchers discovered five key findings:

1. A family strength-based approach is powerful.

2. Families said their “real” neighborhood was vastly different from their “ideal” neighborhood, one where there were safe streets and green spaces for children to play.

3. Informal networks of support were essential for strong families.

4. Having caring, supportive relationships with trusted individuals in schools, places of worship, and health-care institutions were helpful supports for their family.

5. Every neighborhood should have programs and activities for children and youth.7

The research clearly showed that strong families need strong neighborhoods. If families are afraid to venture from their homes due to a lack of safety and security, they’re more likely to become isolated and disconnected. Strong families are part of strong communities, and strong communities typically foster strong families.

Before: Traditional Family Problem Focus / Now: Family Strengths Focus
Changing roles: As problems arise, family members find their roles changing and becoming unclear. / Clear roles: Family members have clear roles and expectations.
Competition: Family members compete for attention and value. / Cooperation: Family members work together and appreciate each individual family member.
The problem of individuality: Family members are accused of “being too independent” and “rocking the boat of the family” when they try to develop individually. / The promise of individuality: Family members are encouraged to develop and express in their individual, unique ways.
Problem-focused communication: Communication dwells on the difficulty in the family and how problems seem to repeat over and over. / Solution-focused communication: Communication is open and honest. It focuses on preventing and solving problems.
Reactivity: The family reacts to situations and problems. / Proactivity: The family creates a vision of what it wants to become and works to build a strong family.
Sporadic family time: Family time is sporadic and unpredictable because other priorities (such as a job or a problem) take precedence. / Shared family time: The family is intentional about spending time together on a regular basis.
Reactive values: Family members talk about values when a problem appears. For example, the family will emphasize honesty after a theft. / Intentional values: The family is intentional about teaching and communicating about positive family values.
Lack of humor: Because of the view that life is difficult, the family tends to be overly serious. / Sense of humor: The family has a view that life is good but sometimes surprising, which lends them to having a sense of humor and a more flexible perspective.
Chaos: Family members tend to turn away from each other and cope in their individual ways (without much guidance in healthy coping) during difficulty. / Resiliency: Family members work together through difficulty, honoring each person’s individual process.
Isolation: The family tends to deal with its own issues without seeking the support and help of others. / Strong connections: The family is connected to extended family, neighbors, friends, community, and other sources of support.

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1. Peter L. Benson, All Kids Are Our Kids: What Communities Must Do to Raise Caring and Responsible Children and Adolescents (San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2006).

2. Diana Baumrind, “Current Patterns of Parental Authority,” Developmental Psychology Monographs 4 , nos. 1, 2 (1971): 1-103.

3. Diana Baumrind, “Parental Disciplinary Patterns and Social Competence in Children,” Youth and Society 9 (1978): 238-279.

4. EE Maccoby and JA Martin, “Socialization in the Context of the Family: Parent–Child Interaction,” in Handbook of Child Psychology, Volume IV: Socialization, Personality, and Social Development, 4th ed., eds. P Mussen and EM Hetherington (New York: Wiley, 1983), 1-101.

5. Peter Scales and Nancy Leffert, Developmental Assets: A Synthesis of the Scientific Research on Adolescent Development (Minneapolis: Search Institute, 1999), 24-26, 77-78.

6. Eugene C. Roehlkepartain, Peter C. Scales, Jolene L. Roehlkepartain, and Stacey P. Rude, Building Strong Families (Minneapolis: Search Institute and Chicago: YMCA of the USA, 2002).

7. Rebecca N. Saito, Theresa K. Sullivan, and Nicole R. Hintz, The Possible Dream: What Families in Distressed Communities Need to Help Youth Thrive (Minneapolis: Search Institute, 2000).

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Why MVParents Works

· Positive Parenting

§ Developmental Assets

§ Sparks and Thriving

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A Positive Approach to Parenting

Learn to look at parenting through the strengths-based lens of the Developmental Assets.

Booklet, 16 pages.
$4.95

Strengthen the Positive Qualities of Your Family

This booklet provides an introduction to the assets and the role they play in positive parenting.

Booklet, 24 pages, pack of 20.
$14.95