Love Is

1 Cor. 13

St. Michael’s Home Group Program

Week 4: Love does not Envy (Chris Luyt)

1 Cor. 13:4

Reflection

Envy is the precursor to jealousy. It is the simple desire to have something that someone else has, rooted in a subtle sense of entitlement.

We fall prey to entitlement when we forget that God is, as our service (offertory) liturgy reminds us weekly, the source of all life – ‘all things come from you, and of your own do we give you’. We are, because God is. As a result, God is the one who is entitled to give us what we have. When we are able to rest securely in the fact that God loves us for who we are and not what we own or do, we are less likely to be trapped by envy. So once again, we affirm the fact that a close, humble, grateful relationship with God is the antidote to entitlement, envy and jealousy.

We don’t only envy people for their physical possessions, we envy them for their power, influence and intellect. We sometimes envy their relationships with others (their being needed by others), and sometimes we even envy their emotional and moral disconnectedness. We can often envy things in other people’s lives that would not be good for us, either generally or personally. This is where God, in His wisdom, withholds things that we feel entitled to.

Love does not envy. God is love. When we are plugged solidly into God and when we draw our sense of identity and emotional security directly from Him, we will celebrate, not envy, the blessings that flow into other people’s lives. When you are tempted to moan about what others have and what you don’t have, remember that you are sustained by a God who knows you better than you know yourself and He is actively working to accomplish the very best (tailored to your uniqueness) in your life. Trust Him to ‘work all things together for the good for you who love Him and are called according to His purpose’ (Rom. 8:28).

Application

  1. Read Matthew 20:1-16
  2. How does this passage affirm what we have said about our personal sense of entitlement and God’s personal sense of entitlement? How do we deal with that emotionally?
  3. “Are you envious because I am generous?” (Mat. 20:15b). This phrase always strikes me deeply whenever I read it. List some of the people in your life who you are angry with (or who you emotionally avoid) because they have something you feel they do not deserve or that you deserve, or would like to have.
  4. “My soul finds rest in God alone. Trust in Him at all times. Pour out your heart to Him. He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them His way. The Lord confides in those who fear Him; He makes His plans known to them. All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful. Who, then, is the man that fears the Lord? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him” (Ps. 62:1,8 25:9,14,12). What do these psalm verses tell us aboutthe freedom we have to confess our envy to God? How, according to these verses, can we expect God to respond to our confession of envy and repentance from it?

Closing Prayer Reflection

Merely thinking that compassion is good will not be enough to develop it. We must wait for difficulties to arise so we can practise it. And who creates such opportunities? Not out friends, of course, but our enemies. If we truly wish to learn, we should consider our enemies our best teachers. We should feel grateful for our enemies for it is they who can best help us develop authentic compassion. Also, it is often the case in both personal and public life, that with a change in circumstances, enemies become friends. The Dalai Lama