Fiction:

Some #1 Things to Look Out For

Before handing in material for workshop, check for at least a few of these problems:

  1. Do you have an actual story—or just a sketch of a story? That is, are you developing plenty of specific detail and modulating your pace?—or are you just sort of summarizing (zooming through)action and events?
  2. Does the story rely entirely on plot for its pleasure? Are other story elements—character, setting,perspective, language, image—ignored?
  1. Is the plot "front-heavy"? That is, does it have very long initial scene-setting and exposition, followed by screaming slide to a conclusion?
  1. Are the characters in the story distinctive? Can you tell one apart from the other, or are they all basically the same person?
  1. Are the characters developed? Do you really know the central people in the story—their desires, physical quirks, beliefs, contradictions—or at least get a vivid impression of each person?
  2. Are scenes* in the story distinctive and delineated? (This is related to question #1 above.) If they all kind of run together, chances are there's a lot of inconsequential action which is diluting the best stuff so we can't see it or experience it vividly. Go through and mark where scenes in the story begin and end, and consider cleaner transitions from one scene to another.
  3. Look at the scenes you've marked. Is each one sufficiently developed? Notice where some good scene opportunities are being brushed over. These are places where you probably SUMMARIZED or used EXPOSITION rather than developed the moment with sensory detail, specific action, and dialogue.
  4. Are the scenes well-modulated? You want an engaging mix of action, reflection, dialogue, and exposition—not action scene followed by action scene followed by action scene. If there's no modulation, the high points just run together with the low points and the story will feel monotonous.
  5. Is the point of view modulated? You want "distant shots" as well as detailed "close-ups."
  6. Is there real engagement with language? Or, oops, is the prose style pretty much a soggy paper towel:
  7. Dull, hackneyed language; cliché words and expressions:
  • "sly smile"
  • "evil smirk"
  • "deep pools of his eyes"
  • "heart leaped to his throat"
  • "majestic sunset" etc.
  1. No figurative speech. Look at Lorrie Moore, Annie Proulx and Scott Fitzeraldforjuicy metaphors and similes…
  2. Monotonous sentence length and style; no rhythmic, modulated, or otherwise engaging sentences.
  3. No voice.

* Scene = an unbroken stretch of time and action, usually in one place. Unlike a summary or exposition, which may overview a broad period of time, a scene generally covers a brief, detailed, circumscribed period

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