Walbia Gu Burru

STAGE 2 ENLISH COMMUNICATIONS

Assessment Type 1: Text Analysis

Student Response

‘Walbia Gu Burru’

Persuasive Speech

Page 1 of 8Stage 2 English Communications student response

Ref: A209016 (August 2012)

© SACE Board of South Australia 2012

RED- Indicates the use of voice and vocal techniques to persuade the audience and panel of judges.

Hello and welcome to the annual Eyre Writers Awards. My name is Marnie Picken and today I am here to justify the rationale behind why up and coming, published, indigenous author Dylan Coleman should be the recipient of this prestigious award. Before I begin I would like to show my respect and acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land, past and present, on which this meeting takes place. I would also like to acknowledge the judging panel and the comprehensive knowledge they hold regarding short story form and literary conventions within this short story genre.

(Clear and concise, relatively fast pace) Dylan Coleman is of Aboriginal heritage and has aptly expressed her deep spiritual connections with the land on the Eyre Peninsula around Kooniba Mission, which is where her narrative’s setting is based. Dylan Coleman has articulated, to her target audience, connections with the land and historical events on behalf of her family and Aboriginal people.

Coleman has utilised the short story genre with purpose to translate local indigenous historical experience (Emphasis on ‘without’) without seeming didactic. (Slight Pause, regular pace) Stories told to Coleman by her mother have been fictionalised and published with purpose to depict a period of history post early colonisation, exposing “some of the issues relating to indigenous people and also some things that happened to us –my grandmother, and the environment my mother grew up in, on Kooniba mission”[1]. Coleman effectively sets the initial scene within this prize winning narrative to (Pace slowed over ‘gather and harness’) gather and harness the audience’s empathy of the indigenous experiences in the early 1940’s. (Pause)

With efficient use of figurative language such as powerful and evocative similes and metaphors which “convey a lot of information for a small amount of words”[2] Coleman’s target audience can visualise and empathise with the indigenous plight. (Change of voice/pace slowed for quote eg. Storytelling) “All crops need rain to grow, she thought. And grow she did, like the Walga with its thorny stem and smooth inner skin that splits to release its ripe fruit. And beneath its tasty flesh, at its core dozens of little black seeds are nurtured. Ada held her child close.”[3] (Pause) Composing juxtapostioned images with deep indigenous references to objects of non-indigenous culture and context has potential to thrust the less informed audience to experience and empathise with indigenous plights. An interview with Coleman qualifies this by her statement that (Change of pace) “Using the sermon and the story of the righteousness coming from the pastor and then, kind of, almost cancelling out or juxtapositioning- like turning it into an opposite image of one of righteousness to one of something that has happened that’s oppressive”[4] (Pause, pace normalized) A wide range of literary conventions are utilized by Coleman in producing effective imagery. (Emphasis) The audience are transported into Ada, the main character’s, position and are able to visualize, with textual references, the position she is placed in by her people. (Change of voice/pace slowed for emphasis on Quote eg. Storytelling)

“White cotton dresses billowed under a gust of wind as a whirly whirly dissipated into the crowd like the crack of a whip. Rocks shuffled beneath the feet of those who gathered in front of the old sandstone church. Then in stillness, a multitude of eyes bored into a young woman standing alone. A figure of solitude, baby held close to her breast. Crows shrieked from a eucalypt tree whose leaves hushed the shaded whisperings.”[5](Pause for emphasis, quotes meaning given time for audience to comprehend Ada’s experience)

(Emphasis on first sentence) Such intricate imagery immediately exposes the author’s disdain of a period of racist history in a literary form. (Pace normalized) The audience are transported or positioned into the early 1940’s where racism and bigotry towards indigenous women was ubiquitous. This era has characteristic dark disposition and tone created by Coleman in ‘Walbia Gu Burru’, one of tension and conflict exposing the bigotry of women and the ever present conflict between colonial Christian missionary and its clash with indigenous culture. (Slight pause)

Themes in this short story are Coleman’s own family’s experiences; however reflect the treatment of indigenous people, especially women, and the dynamics of two opposing culture’s values and religious beliefs. Coleman noted in an interview “Those western ideas which would have been very different to Aboriginal traditional ideas because some men had several wives in a traditional setting because it was about survival as well, and it was about community existing together in a way that they can survive. Those ideas were thrown out the window with the mission system and the western ideas.”[6](Pause)

(Pace normalized, emphasis on ‘little’) Readers with little knowledge regarding the intricate history and cultural context explored in ‘Walbia Gu Burru’ instantly gain an insight with Coleman’s authentic use of indigenous language infused within the narrative (See appendix 1 for glossary). This is her strength as a contemporary author. (Change of voice/pace slowed for emphasis on Quote eg. Storytelling)

“‘Anyways, I reckon she ain’t nothin’ but a biggy biggy knunchu, sloppin’ from old farmer William’s trough. And that bastard kid is nothin’ but William’s minya piglet...and always will be, just sloppin’ in his trough.’ Maggie spat at Ada, ‘You ain’t nothin’ but walbia gu burru,’ then bent down and scooped up two small sharp stones throwing them in her direction. One stung Ada’s leg and the other bounced off her baby’s head. The baby began to cry.”[7] (Pause for emphasis, quotes meaning given time for audience to comprehend Ada’s experience)

Indigenous language is effectively infused in the dialogue exposing context and her authentic indigenous perspective into the storyline. The use of figurative language combined with the Koktha language, native to the area around Kooniba Mission, used within this short story is also influential in positioning the reader and introducing further underlying context. (Pause, pace slowed for emphasis) An indigenous term of reference was utilized by Coleman as the title of the short story and throughout the text, ‘Walbia Gu Burru’. ‘Walbia Gu Burru’ is translated to the English language as ‘White Man’s Meat’. This saying was readily used by fellow indigenous people and also non-indigenous in the 1940’s to describe Aboriginal women that had been forced, or went willingly with non-indigenous men, resulting in a sexual relationship for favours or merely to survive which would have the possibility of the creation of a child that would be ‘half-caste’ and a signature of shame. (Pause) “That name was used by Aboriginal people on the mission to call these women that had children to white men ‘Walbia Gu Burru’, ‘White Man’s Meat’. So they are, just basically an object for these men, it’s an internalised racist term.”[8](Pause for audience to comprehend themes)

(Pace normalized) Coleman is able to articulate and give implicit features which efficiently characterise Ada, the main character, within this narrative form. The audience are offered the chance to create and visualise Ada within their own context. (Change of voice/pace slowed for emphasis on Quote eg. Storytelling) “Ada shuffled back and stooping her shoulders inward, held her baby’s head then sank into her battered, bruised body, taking her child with her. She imagined herself invisible.”[9] (Pause) Ada, not only represents the figure of Coleman’s grandmother, but also symbolically represents Aboriginal women and the intergenerational trauma that has been experienced by indigenous Australian women. “Ultimately the trauma from colonisation is, kind of, passed on from one generation to the next and one of the things in the story is about, also, internalising racism.”[10]

“In fact, the worst offender of institutionalized discrimination and marginalization of Aboriginal people is the government.”[11]

“We are still hearing the same things that my mother was hearing when she was little.”[12]

(Pace slowed and emphasis on rhetorical question) Is it not true that each reader will bring their own values, beliefs and connections to a story determining their opinion on the themes raised in the narrative? (Pace/voice changed for quote) “When people read into these stories it actually, can reveal a lot about the readers position because depending on what they bring to the reading of the story because each reader sticks within their own point of view and perspective and so each reader will perceive things in a slightly different way and that will tell a lot about the reader, how they interpret a story.”[13] (Pace normalized) By sharing her experiences and stories passed from generation to generation, Coleman is also able to influence the audience’s thoughts to empathise with indigenous dilemmas. (Emphasis on ‘completely’) “Its drawing completely on my cultural background and family’s experiences and wanting to position the aboriginal voice at the centre of the narrative.”[14]

From what has been expressed through this speech, (Expression +slowed on ‘how’) qualifying how Dylan utilized her position as an up and coming indigenous author to depict times of racism and discrimination against indigenous women and ‘half-caste’ children. Dylan has utilized the short story genre to position her target audience to potentially envisage and empathise with the mistreatment and indoctrination of these women to a white religion. Coleman has aptly expressed, on behalf of her family and her people some of the conditions forced upon indigenous people after early colonisation in the short story genre with the use of powerful figurative language. In doing this Coleman has effectively produced an influential narrative while using short story conventions. Which raises the question, (Intensify Here) should Dylan be recipient of this 2011 Eyre writers Award? (Pause)

(Slowed to enhance) Dylan Coleman is a deserving recipient of this 2011 Eyre Writers Award and is to be acknowledged for her short story ‘Walbia Gu Burru’. Coleman has effectively used literature, with integrity, which shares family pain and trauma exposing rich cultural connections to country, to an indigenous and non-indigenous audience. By winning this award Coleman’s short story will gain a larger audience which will include a broader cross section of our Australian society who no doubt will gain valuable insights to the mistreatment of women, (Emphasis on ‘in particular’) in particular our Indigenous Australian women.

Words: 973

Appendix 1

Glossary

Biggy Biggy Knunchu – pig.

Booba – dog.

Gooling – baby.

Goojarb – serve yourself right.

Indie – isn’t that so/yes, it is.

Minya – small.

Tiljip – old man.

Ungerdie – sexually hungry.

Walga – wild bush tomato.

Walbia Gu Burru – white man’s meat.

Whirly Whirly – a gust of spiralling wind.

Performance Standards for Stage 2 English Communications

Knowledge and Understanding / Analysis / Application / Communication
A / Detailed and comprehensive knowledge and understanding of the ways in which a wide variety of texts are shaped by the conventions of a particular form of expression or communication.
Knowledge and understanding of the ways in which creators and readers of familiar and unfamiliar texts use a range of language techniques and strategies to make meaning.
Detailed knowledge and understanding of the ideas and themes in familiar and unfamiliar texts.
Knowledge and understanding of a wide range of ways of defining and attracting a target audience for familiar and unfamiliar texts and examples of communication. / Perceptive analysis of a range of ways in which authors use the conventions of different text types to influence opinions and decisions in familiar and unfamiliar contexts.
Analysis of complex connections between personal ideas, experiences, values, and beliefs, and those explored in familiar and unfamiliar texts.
Comprehensive and analytical understanding of the ideas, experiences, values, and beliefs explored in a range of familiar and unfamiliar texts. / Use of a wide range of language skills and techniques to create sophisticated and coherent texts that address the meaning and intention of the task.
Detailed and appropriate use of evidence from texts to support responses, with textual references incorporated fluently.
Skills in using the structural, conventional, and textual features of text types for a range of familiar and unfamiliar contexts, audiences, and purposes.
Versatile and creative production of texts for a variety of familiar and unfamiliar contexts, audiences, and purposes. / Fluent and precise writing and speaking, using appropriate style and structure for a range of mainly unfamiliar audiences and contexts.
Appropriate use of language to convey mostly complex meaning in a range of unfamiliar contexts.
B / Knowledge and understanding of the ways in which a range of texts are shaped by the conventions of a particular form of expression or communication.
Knowledge and understanding of the ways in which creators and readers of mainly familiar texts use some language techniques and strategies to make meaning.
Knowledge and understanding of some ideas and themes in familiar, and some unfamiliar, texts.
Knowledge and understanding of a range of ways of defining and attracting a target audience for mainly familiar texts and examples of communication. / Analysis of a range of ways in which authors use the conventions of different text types to influence opinions and decisions in familiar, and some unfamiliar, contexts.
Analysis of some complex and simple connections between personal ideas, experiences, values, and beliefs, and those explored in familiar, and some unfamiliar, texts.
Analytical understanding of the ideas, experiences, values, and beliefs explored in a range of familiar, and some unfamiliar, texts. / Use of a range of language skills and techniques to create clear and coherent texts that address the meaning and intention of the task.
Use of evidence from texts to support responses, with textual references incorporated.
Skills in using some of the structural, conventional, and textual features of text types for a range of mainly familiar, and some unfamiliar, contexts, audiences, and purposes.
Production of texts for a variety of mainly familiar, and some unfamiliar, contexts, audiences, and purposes. / Mostly fluent and precise writing and speaking, using appropriate style and structure for a range of mostly familiar audiences and contexts.
Appropriate use of language to convey complex and simple meaning in a range of familiar and unfamiliar contexts.
C / Knowledge and understanding of some of the ways in which texts are shaped by the conventions of a particular form of expression or communication.
Knowledge and understanding of a number of ways in which creators and readers of a narrow range of familiar texts use some language techniques and strategies to make meaning.
Recounts of some of the ideas and themes in familiar texts.
Knowledge and understanding of a restricted range of ways of defining and attracting a target audience for familiar texts and examples of communication. / Descriptive analysis of a number of ways in which authors use the conventions of different text types to influence opinions and decisions in familiar texts.
Analysis of simple connections between personal ideas, experiences, values, or beliefs, and those explored in familiar texts.
Analytical understanding of some ideas, experiences, values, and beliefs explored in a range of mainly familiar texts. / Use of language skills and techniques to create texts that address the meaning and intention of the task.
Competent use of evidence from texts to support responses, with some use of textual references.
Skills in using some of the structural, conventional, and textual features of some text types for familiar contexts, audiences, and purposes.
Production of texts for familiar contexts, audiences, and purposes. / Generally fluent and functional writing and speaking, using appropriate style and structure for familiar audiences and contexts.
Appropriate use of language to convey simple meaning in a narrow range of familiar and unfamiliar contexts.
D / Knowledge and understanding of a limited number of ways in which texts are shaped by the conventions of a particular form of expression or communication.
Knowledge and understanding of some of the ways in which creators and readers of a narrow range of familiar texts use language techniques and strategies to make simple or factual meaning.
Identification of some of the ideas and themes in some familiar texts.
Knowledge and understanding of a way of defining and attracting a target audience for a familiar text or example of communication. / Reference to some ways in which authors use a range of the conventions of different text types to influence opinions and decisions in familiar texts.
Reference to simple connections between uncomplicated personal ideas, experiences, values, or beliefs, and those explored in familiar texts.
Analytical understanding of the ideas, experiences, values, or beliefs explored in a familiar text. / Use of language skills and techniques to create texts that partly address the meaning and intention of the task.
Some use of evidence from texts to support responses, with restricted use of textual references.
Skills in using some of the structural, conventional, or textual features of a text type for a familiar context, audience, or purpose.
Production of a limited number of texts for highly familiar contexts, audiences, and purposes. / Achievement of a level of fluency in writing and speaking in personally relevant situations, using appropriate style and structure for a narrow range of familiar audiences and contexts.
Occasionally appropriate use of language to convey simple meaning in familiar contexts.
E / Knowledge and understanding of a way in which a text is shaped by the conventions of a particular form of expression or communication.
Knowledge and understanding of the way in which a creator or reader of a highly familiar text uses a language technique or strategy to make factual meaning.
Identification of an idea or a theme in a familiar text.
Emerging development of knowledge and understanding of a way of defining and attracting a target audience for a highly familiar text or example of communication. / Reference to the way in which an author uses the conventions of different text types to influence opinions and decisions in a highly familiar text.
Recognition of a simple connection between a straightforward personal idea, experience, value, or belief, and that explored in a highly familiar text.
Development of understanding of the ideas, experiences, values, or beliefs explored in a highly familiar text. / Attempted use of a restricted range of language skills and/or techniques to create a text or texts that attempt to address the meaning or intention of the task.
Restricted use of evidence from texts to support a simple response, with textual reference.
Skills in using the structural, conventional, or textual features of a text type for a highly familiar context, audience, or purpose.
Production of a text for a highly familiar context, audience, and purpose. / Emerging development of fluency in writing and speaking in personally relevant situations, using appropriate style and structure for a narrow range of highly familiar audiences and contexts.
Occasionally appropriate use of language to convey literal meaning in highly familiar contexts.

Page 1 of 8Stage 2 English Communications student response