Video Script – Columbus Day
[Bryan walks in front of camera]
Bryan:Last year, we produced a video PSA to inform our customers that Central National Bank would be closed in celebration of Columbus Day. And… it served its purpose.
Joe:It was a smashing success. Over 200 people watched our video. And as a result, no one was inconvenienced by us closing our doors. We didn’t get any thank you letters, but,….people are busy…and frankly, we don’t do what we do for “thank you’s.”
[Cut to security camera footage at “thankfully no one was inconvenienced…” of people annoyed that the bank is closed]
Joe:Columbus Day and why we celebrate it can be confusing, so, allow me to break it down for you:
Brief History on who Columbus was and why we get the day off and you probably don’t:
1.) Born somewhere near present day Italy, sailed under the authority of Spain
2.) Sailed to the good ol US of A on the Mayflower
3.) Landed on Plymouth Rock
4.) Rounded up 2 of every animal and put them on the boat (abrupt cut)
5.) May or may not have dabbled in just a little bit of cannibalism
6.) And, when he got here there were already like a million people or so calling it home
[interrupt some of these with a check mark sound, or the “X” sound from family feud.]
Bryan:It’s probably best we not give a history lesson here and stick to the fact that Columbus was brave. As a bank, we see this day not as a holiday, but more as an opportunity to regroup. It’s an extra day to collect our thoughts.
Joe:Right here in the middle of football season, that is really what we need. A third day tacked onto our 2 day weekend …….to really plug that battery in and recharge.
Bryan:We know that—while we regroup—some of our customers will be inconvenienced, and we’re sincerely sorry for that.
Joe:Our customers are busy people, so we’re going to give them the day off, too. You have enough to worry about, so why fret about coming to the bank on Monday? Scratch that off your to-do list. You’re welcome.
Bryan:On Monday, October 13, we at Central National Bank will join the thousands of other banks across this nation when we close our doors in honor of Christopher Columbus.
MarkActually, not all 50 states officially recognize Columbus Day. Some banks are open.
Bryan:[Whips head in the direction of off-camera] What? Whatever you do, do not tell Joe.
Joe:During the production of this video, it has come to our attention that there are banks in states like Nevada, Oregon and Hawaii that do not celebrate Columbus Day. It’s disturbing. I mean, who are the CEOs of these banks? Those employees are overworked. The lobby opens at 9 a.m. and it closes at 3 p.m. If I had known how bad banker’s hours were, I would have never taken this job.
Bryan:As an independent bank ourselves, we value the independence of other banks around this nation…no matter what state they’re in.
Joe:If we don’t put an end to this now, what’s next? Presidents’ Day?
Bryan:We just hope that—regardless of whether you celebrate it or not—you have a great Monday.
Joe:To these banks, and more specifically, to Community Bank & Trust of Oregon, Bank of Nevada, and Bank of Hawaii…I challenge you to do the right thing and join us in celebrating the great Italian-American hero, Christopher Columbus.
[Dumps Ice Bucket on Head]
Mark:Joe, that’s now how that works.
[Long pause while Joe tries to remain stoic.]
Joe:You have 48 hours to respond.
[Happy Columbus Day Splash Graphic]