University Graduates Have an Edge Over People Who Did Not Continue Their Education After

University graduates have an edge over people who did not continue their education after school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In a last few decades higher education, became more widespread than it ever was. And many of those currently studying for a degree do it in hopes of getting better salary or overall better job. I strongly support the idea that university graduates have an edge over those without it.

First of all university graduates on average have 20% higher salaries after graduation, and this gaps grows with work experience. University dropouts such as Bill Gates or Steve Jobs are often mentioned as a counter example, but in the end there is are hundreds of unsuccessful dropouts for each successful, they are just rarely spoken of, because this subject is too depressing. According to both research and my personal experience university degree is an advantage when salary is concerned.

Secondly going to university provides you with connections, which are difficult to get any other way. While many consider going to university just for knowledge and fancy degree, one also gets a wide network of connections. Even today, less than a year from graduating, i have friends all over the globe, in banks and research institution alike.

Finally university degree often serves as a formal criteria. Whether it is getting a dream job, changing citizenship, or some other formal process, one must often meet a range of formal criterias. No matter how experienced, hard-working and all-around perfect one is, he will never be considered.

In conclusion having university degree most certainly provides you with an edge over those without it. I may provide additional arguments, however if having better salary, wider connections and meeting formal criteria are not real arguments for you, little i can say can change your position.

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Good points:

·  Introduction states the rephrased topic and presents the opinion

·  Body paragraphs have topic sentences presenting three different arguments

·  The first and second paragraphs are well developed

·  Conclusion restates the thesis and summarizes the body paragraphs

·  Appropriate length

·  Good vocabulary range

Weak points:

·  The second point is restated instead of being developed.

·  Your conclusion is too emotional. Don’t try to persuade anyone!

·  Grammar accuracy

·  Register: use of personal pronouns