February Meeting: February 8, 2011 at 7:30 P.M.
The Hills Church of Christ, 6300 NE Loop 820, North Richland Hills
New Members
We want to extend
a very warm, loving,
and understanding “Welcome”
to our new friends who attended
the January meeting:
Robert & Monica Green
for the loss of their son
Stephanie Reyes
for the loss of her brother
Debbie Torrez
for the loss of her brother
Picture Button Machine
We will have the picture button machine at the February meeting. Please bring a 4x6 copy of a picture of your loved one if you wish to have a picture button made.
Birthday Table
February birthdays
will be celebrated
at this month’s meeting.
If your child’s, grandchild’s,
or sibling’s birthday is
in February,
please feel free to bring
a photo or memento of them
for the birthday table.
To those of you
who are newly bereaved
and receiving our newsletter
for the first time,
we warmly invite you to
The Compassionate Friends.
We are a self-help organization
of parents, grandparents
and adult siblings
who have experienced
the death of a loved one.
We offer
understanding and support through our monthly meetings,
a lending library,
support materials
and loving telephone listeners.
Please do not be afraid
to come to a gathering.
Every other person in the room has lost a child,
grandchild or sibling.
They come because they feel
the need to be with someone else
who understands.
We know it takes courage
to attend that first gathering,
but those who do come find
an atmosphere of understanding
from others who have experienced
the grief that you have now.
Nothing is asked of you.
There are no dues or fees
and you do not have to speak.
There is a special feeling at meetings
of The Compassionate Friends.
We meet the second Tuesday
of every month.
Upcoming Meetings
Feb. 8th – “Signs from our Children”
presented by Crys Aigner
March 8th – Angels Across the USA
Tour with Alan Pederson
in the chapel downstairs
Driving Directions
From East 820, exit Rufe Snow; turn left (north) onto Rufe Snow; turn left (west) at light; stay on access road; turn left (south) at stop sign onto Meadow Lakes Dr.
From West 820, exit Meadow Lakes Dr. & turn left (south) at stop sign.
The Hills Church of Christ is on the south side of the loop. Use the northeast entrance with the covered circular drive. There will be a security guard on duty.
Church phone: 817-281-0773
Love Gifts
A Love Gift is a donation made in honor of a child who has died or as a memorial to a relative or friend. They are tax deductible and are the only means that allow us to reach out to other bereaved families through books, programs and this newsletter.
If you wish for your love gift to be listed in a particular month’s newsletter, it must be submitted by the 15th of the previous month.
Please send your Love Gifts to:
Steve Roberts, 3240 Jetranger Rd.
Hurst, TX 76053
TCF Fort Worth Chapter
Steering Committee
Chapter Leaders
Jeff & Marty Martin
817-991-9121
Treasurer
Steve Roberts
817-914-8689
Hospitality
Marty Akeman
817-636-5645
Christine Anderson
817-300-6196
Lydia Moore
817-829-3801
Newsletter
Becky Long
817-275-9297
Librarian
Patty Gallagher
817-861-1491
Committee Members
Crys Aigner
Joy & Neil Brenckman
Lori Dean Carver
Charles & Genie Dean
Janet DuPertuis
Cheryl Dean Lopez
Glinda Smith
Regional Coordinators
Joan and Bill Campbell
972-935-0673
Fort Worth Chapter Website
www.thecompassionatefriendsfw.com
Thanks to Carrie Wallace of DFW Personal Assistant for designing and maintaining our web page.
Need to Talk?
Listed below are parents, grandparents and siblings
who have walked
where you are today.
If you are having a difficult day
and just want to talk, please call.
Addiction
Helen Dement
817-431-6964
Auto
Jeff & Marty
817-991-9121
Multiple Loss/
Loss of a Grandchild
Lydia
817-829-3801
Drowning
Debi
817-523-5037
Long Term Illness
Marty
817-636-5645
Homicide/Only Child
Steve
817-914-8689
Suicide
Glinda
817-485-3772
Siblings
Cheryl
817-624-7043
Want to share?
If you have read an article,
poem or book that has helped you along your grief journey,
please share it with our newsletter editor.
We also encourage you to submit
your own works of poetry or
prose for our newsletter.
Thanks to Joanne Naples for sharing an original poem
in this month’s newsletter.
TCF National Office
The Compassionate Friends
P. O. Box 3696
Oak Brook, IL 60522-3696
Fax: 630-990-0246
Toll-free: 877-969-0010
9 A.M. - 5 P.M., CST, Mon.-Fri.
Email:
Website:
www.compassionatefriends.org
Facebook:
The Compassionate Friends/USA
National Conference
Reservations are now being accepted at the Sheraton Bloomington Hotel, Minneapolis South for those attending TCF’s National Conference July 15-17. Room rate is $129 per night for a King or Double Room, single or double occupancy; $139 for triple and $149 for quad. These special reduced rates are available on stays from July 10-19 if the reservation is placed by June 21 (subject to availability). These are specially negotiated rates available only for those attending the national conference. Reserve your accommodations by calling 952-835-7800 (make sure to mention that you are with TCF) or by clicking the link on the national website’s national conference page.
Chapter News
Join us in February for “Signs from our Children.” Chapter member Crys Aigner will discuss different ways our loved ones communicate to us from the afterlife using information both from workshops she has attended at national TCF conferences and research she has done on her own.
Angels Across the USA Tour
Our March meeting will take place in the chapel downstairs and feature the music and message of bereaved parent, singer and songwriter Alan Pederson. Alan uses his gentle mix of humor and straight-from-the-heart talk wrapped around powerful songs about love, loss and healing to make for a unique experience you will not soon forget.
Firemen’s 5K
The 13th annual Firemen’s 5K and One Mile Fun Run will be held at 8 A.M. on Saturday, May 28th, at Arborlawn United Methodist Church, 5001 Briarhaven, Fort Worth.
All proceeds from the race benefit the Fort Worth Chapter of The Compassionate Friends and The WARM Place. This is a major source of funds for our chapter. Watch for more information as well as registration forms and pledge sheets in future newsletters and at upcoming chapter meetings.
If you or your company would like to sponsor the race, please see the form at the back of this newsletter.
Call Lori Carver at 817-819-5530 with questions or e-mail .
Chapter News
Steering Committee Meeting
Our next Steering Committee meeting will be Saturday, February 12th at 11:00 A.M. at Marty & Jeff Martin’s, 9309 Watercress Dr. in Fort Worth.
Directions: From 820 in Lake Worth take Jacksboro Hwy heading northwest. After crossing the lake go to the second light and turn left across the highway and left on the access road. Take the first right onto Rankin Road to the bottom of the hill. At the fork go right on Watercress Dr. to a green house on the left or lake side of the road. The door is on the lake side of the house through the gate. Please call 817-237-0133 to RSVP or in case of bad weather.
Membership in the Steering Committee is open to all chapter members, and we look forward to your input as we plan our 2011 meetings. Please join us.
Refreshments
If you would be willing to bring refreshments to an upcoming meeting, please locate the sign up sheet at this month’s meeting or call one of our hospitality committee members. Many of our members bring refreshments during their loved one’s birth month, as a way of celebrating their birthday with the group.
Please note that drinks, cups, napkins, plates, and utensils are always provided by our chapter.
Thanks to George Hollis for donating our chapter’s storage facility at Jay’s Self Storage, 8032 White Settlement Road.
Compassionate Siblings
I had a prayer answered today,
one I’d like to share.
I found I’m not alone in my grief;
I found someone to care!
I was in pain for quite awhile
but kept it deep inside,
But now I know there are people
in whom I can confide!
They’ll let me cry or scream or yell,
and they know just how I feel;
You see they also know that pain
and know it’s very real.
Each one has suffered a loss,
one like I have known;
Yet now we stand together.
This unique group of siblings
is bonded, you might say,
And strength to carry on is
for what each one must pray.
One by one we keep going,
although painful it might be,
And the emptiness we feel,
many will never see.
Because we choose what face
to show the world and
courage keeps us going,
We have a constant ache inside,
No matter what the outside
is showing.
And whether it takes me
a year or two,
Time is all that can heal;
So I’ve been sent some
“Compassionate Siblings”
Who know just how I feel.
Bless those who need
to be understood
When tears come and go
without warning.
May we help heal the wounds
so deep that are hurting
all the hearts left empty
by the death of a sibling.
Stacie Gilliam
TCF, N. Oklahoma City, OK
Reprinted from This Healing Journey:
An Anthology for Bereaved Siblings
I knew that the further away we got from Minnesota I should have felt the weight of the world lift off of my shoulders. Normally someone who was going on an 18-day vacation, away from the stresses and strains of work and everyday life, on their way to the beautiful West Coast should feel that way. But the events of the past few years made it difficult to relax and I felt the muscles in my neck and back become tenser as we journeyed on. I could sense that my son Dan picked up on my anxieties, as I was sure he had his own. He was seated next to me and I tried to flash a smile of reassurance to him that really belied my fears and the growing knot that I felt in the pit of my stomach.
Our uneasiness was justified. This was the first time we were on vacation in a little over four years. That family vacation had ended in unspeakable tragedy. Having spent the day of my 45th birthday at Daytona Beach, my husband, daughter Kristina (her nickname was Nina), son Dan and myself were on our way to my celebra-tory birthday supper. Only three-quarters of a mile from our destination, a drunk driver fell asleep at the wheel, crossed the median, hit the side of the car where my precious and beloved 15 ½ year old daughter, Nina, was sitting and she was killed instantly. From that moment, life as we knew it was irrevocably changed. It was the initiation into unfamiliar territory and the beginning of the roller coaster ride of emotions we were to experience. We were about to be educated in the school of grief; a place we never wanted to enter. From that day forward I swore that I would never, ever attempt
to go on another family vacation. The memory of that one was painfully and eternally burned into my mind. I was fearful that if it could happen once, it could happen again. In my experiences along the grief pathway and those I had become acquainted with while on that journey, I came to learn that no one was immune to tragedy repeating itself.
Shortly after Nina died, I became involved in “The Club” that no one wants to be a member of. I became a part of The Compassionate Friends, a self-help support group for bereaved parents. Membership is a parent’s worst nightmare to someone who has never lost a child, but to those of us who have it is a lifesaver. With their support and friendship, I could uncurl myself from the fetal position and begin to think, feel and cope with life again. There I met people that I know will be my lifelong friends; people who had somehow even survived the loss of more than one child, and some that had lost their only child. Each of their stories were incredibly heartbreaking: children “gone too soon” from cancer, congenital defects, accidents, house fires, suicide, AIDS, homicide – a never-ending list of sorrow. But somehow they carried on and gave back what they had received tenfold to the newly bereaved. They were such an inspiration and I knew that in time I would want to give back as well.
A few years after my precious daughter’s death, I became co-leader and newsletter editor to our TCF Chapter in St. Paul, Minnesota. The Compassionate Friend’s National Conference was being held in Portland, Oregon in
June of 1999. I had always heard how lovely Oregon was and for the first time considered even attempting another family vacation. Though I was apprehensive, I wondered how I could allow my feelings to dictate that my son Dan would never experience with his family the beauty that this bountiful country of ours has to offer. I also justified it by rationalizing that it was more a “business trip”, to receive ideas to help my other Compassionate Friends, than a pleasure trip.
My parents generously offered to take Dan and me through some of the most gorgeous country in America. We traveled to Glacier, Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons National Parks, with their “purple mountains majesty.” We saw the rugged and rocky, lighthouse-studded spectacular Oregon coastline and the breathtakingly gargantuan redwood trees in Jedidiah Smith Redwood Forest in California. Though I was awestruck and taken in by all the beauty, inwardly I still harbored doubts. In my prayers at night I would speak to Nina and ask for her approval. “Is this all right with you, Nina, after what happened on our last family vacation? Please somehow let me know that I am doing the right thing.”
The day before we were to arrive in Portland, we made a stop at another National Park. I don’t think I was at all prepared for my surroundings at Crater Lake National Park. To say the crystalline sapphire-blue waters of the lake skirted by rolling mountains, volcanic peaks, and evergreen forests left me breath-less would have been a gross