Title:Emotion Short Story

Title:Emotion Short Story

Goal:Description is one of the vital parts necessary to telling a good story, and to writing in general. Description paints a picture in the mind of the reader, and creates a world for the reader to explore.

This week, students will develop their ability to write vivid, fluent, descriptions by writing a short story featuring the emotions of a character. Emotions are particularly difficult to write about because they are abstract. They cannot be seen, smelled, touched, or tasted. Therefore, writing fluently about emotion is excellent practice for improving the general writing ability of students.

Description: Students are to write a 300 to 500 word short story about a character with goals, and describe their emotional reaction to whatever situation they are in while showing and not telling. They should use at least three phrases from the Emotional Body Language Handout.

Example:

Consider this example from Mrs. Dalloway, when a woman meets her first love 20 years after she decided to marry someone else:

“And how are you?” said Peter Walsh, positively trembling; taking both her hands; kissing both her hands. She’s grown older, he thought, sitting down. I shan’t tell her anything about it, he thought, for she’s grown older. She’s looking at me, he thought, a sudden embarrassment coming over him, though he had kissed her hands. Putting his hand into his pocket, he took out a large pocket-knife and half opened the blade.

Exactly the same, thought Clarissa; the same queer look; the same check suit; a little out of the straight his face is, a little thinner, dryer, perhaps, but he looks awfully well, and just the same.

“How heavenly it is to see you again!” she exclaimed. He had his knife out. That’s so like him, she thought.

He had only reached town last night, he said; would have to go down into the country at once; and how was everything, how was everybody — Richard? Elizabeth?

“And what’s all this?” he said, tilting his pen-knife towards her green dress.

He’s very well dressed, thought Clarissa; yet he always criticizes ME.

Here she is mending her dress; mending her dress as usual, he thought; here she’s been sitting all the time I’ve been in India; mending her dress; playing about; going to parties; running to the House and back and all that, he thought, growing more and more irritated, more and more agitated, for there’s nothing in the world so bad for some women as marriage, he thought; and politics; and having a Conservative husband, like the admirable Richard. So it is, so it is, he thought, shutting his knife with a snap.

In-class, read the following

In this unit, we are working on your ability to write a short story. Short stories consist of many parts, such as plot, character, and setting. But this week, we are going to focus on your ability to describe a character’s emotions. Describing emotions well is difficult, and by working on this skill, you will improve your ability to describe things in your writing.

First of all, good writing shows and doesn’t tell. Consider the following examples.

• Bill walked through the rain.
• The sky wept. Cold droplets pitter-pattered on Bill’s clothes as he marched down the street.

[Ask students which they though was stronger and why.]

The second sample is stronger because it shows you Bill walking through the rain. It paints a picture in your mind, whereas the first example merely tells you that Bill is walking through the rain. Good writing shows, and does not tell.

Consider this example from Mrs. Dalloway, wherein a man and a woman meet 20 years after the woman, Clarissa rejected his proposal of marriage.

[Read aloud example, then ask students the following questions:

• How do you think the characters feel in this scene?
• How do you know what the characters are feeling?
• What do you believe the goals of the characters are?]

You will notice that the author shows us how the characters are feeling through physical details and mental details. She does not write “Clarissa was sad she didn’t marry him,” as this would be telling, not showing, and therefore inelegant writing.

Furthermore, even in this scene about emotion, both characters have goals. Each wants to see if they should have married the other 20 years ago.

Your short story should have characters in a relationship, one of whom wants something, and the characters’ emotions should be shown, not told.

To help you, there is a handout describing the emotional responses of people and how they physically demonstrate them.

You will notice that stories which feature emotions often also feature close relationships between characters, because it’s hard to get too excited about strangers. Characters usually want something from another character, and their emotional reactions to this wanting are shown.

To help you write your short story, you have been provided with a graphic organizer. Please work on it for five minutes now. There is also an emotions and feelings vocabulary list at the end of this assignment to help improve your vocabulary. However, include no more than one of these words per paragraph, as they tend to “tell” and not “show.”

[Teacher moves through class helping students with questions.]

Now, share what you have written with the partner at your table. Whoever listens should ask two to three questions about the character relationship, what they want, and how they will show instead of tell their emotions, and whoever is telling their idea should make a note of their answers to improve their short story. Then switch roles, and do so again. You have five minutes. Go.

[Teacher moves around the room listening and assisting as needed. When time is up, ask students to share ideas from their graphic organizer with the class.]

You now have ten minutes to begin your first draft. Begin now.

[Teacher will observe students and assist as needed.]

Your final draft is due Wednesday. Tomorrow, you should revise your work. After you believe your work has zero grammar errors, has an interesting character with goals that is a personified object, you should print out your current draft, along with the revision checklist. Revise your short story using the checklist, then read your short story aloud to another student, and then show her or him your text. Your evaluator must check every box, and you should fix any problems they find. Turning in a short story with a single unchecked box will result in a score of zero on this assignment.

Work hard and have a nice day!

Emotion Short Story Graphic Organizer

Name:

Complete the following graphic organizer which will help you write your Emotion Short Story.

Relationship: Stories which feature emotions often also feature close relationships between characters, because it’s hard to get too excited about strangers. What is the relationship between the characters in your story? Mother and son? Teacher and student?

What does your character want?:This is similar to the goal in your previous assignment. At least one of your characters should want something, likely something from the other character in the relationship. Does the student want a better grade from their teacher? Does the mother want to know why her son ran away from home?

Emotion: List possible emotions that the characters may experience, such as worry, fear, sadness or love.

Show don’t tell emotions: In what ways might characters show the emotions above? Crying? Breaking a pencil? Sweating?

Resolution: Does your character get what they wanted?

Writer Self-Evaluation Checklists

To make your writing the best it can possibly be, you must complete the following checklists after writing your rough draft, but before giving your work to a peer reader and writing your final draft.

THESE CHECKLISTS ARE PASS/FAIL. ONE MISSING ELEMENT WILL RESULT IN A ZERO.

Format Checklist

Double-spaced

In 12-point font

Times New Roman font

Title

MLA formatting above the title (see attached page)

My Proofreading

There are no spelling errors

I used capital letters at the beginning of sentences, for proper nouns, for names, cities, countries

I used end punctuation

I checked tenses, and do not use future and past tense in the same sentence

This short story has characters in a relationship, with a goal, whose emotions are shown and not told

Emotions are shown not told at least four times in the course of the story

My short story is 300 to 500 words long

My Signature: ______

Peer Listener and Reader Evaluation Checklist

After revising your own work with the above checklist, you will print out a copy and read it to a peer. Your peer will then evaluate your work with the following checklist.

There are no spelling errors

The writer uses capital letters at the beginning of sentences, for proper nouns, for names, cities, countries

All punctuation is used correctly

I checked tenses so that the writer does not use future and past tense in the same sentence

This short story has characters in a relationship, with a goal, whose emotions are shown and not told

Emotions are shown not told at least four times in the course of the story

This short story is 300 to 500 words long

Peer Reader Signature: ______

• Neck and/or face is red or flushed.
• Baring of teeth and snarling.
• Clenched fists.
• Leaning forward and invasion ofbody space.
• Otheraggressive body language.
• Use ofpower body language.

• A 'cold sweat'.
• Pale face.
• Dry mouth, which may be indicated by licking lips, drinking water, rubbing throat.
• Not looking at the other person.
• Damp eyes.
• Trembling lip.
• Varying speech tone.
• Speech errors.
• Voice tremors.
• Visible high pulse (noticeable on the neck or movement of crossed leg.
• Sweating.
• Tension in muscles: clenched hands or arms, elbows drawn in to the side, jerky movements, legs wrapped around things.
• Gasping and holding breath.
• Fidgeting.
• Defensive body language, including crossed arms and legs and generally drawing in of limbs.
• Ready body language(forfight-or-flight)
• Othersymptoms of stress

• Drooping of the body.
• Trembling lip.
• Flat speech tone.
• Tears.

• Neck and/ or face is red or flushed.
• Looking down or away from others. Not looking them in the eye.
• Grimacing, false smile, changing the topic or otherwise trying to cover up the embarrassment.

• Raised eyebrows.
• Widening of eyes.
• Open mouth.
• Sudden backward movement.

• General relaxation of muscles.
• Smiling (including eyes).
• Open body language

A

B

C

D

E

F

G

H

I

J

K

L

M

N

O

P

Q

R

S

T

U

V

W

Z