Grief Poetry
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West.
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever; I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
W. H. Auden
Time does not bring relief
Time does not bring relief; you all have lied
Who told me time would ease me of my pain!
I miss him in the weeping of the rain;
I want him at the shrinking of the tide;
The old snows melt from every mountain-side,
And last year's leaves are smoke in every lane;
But last year's bitter loving must remain
Heaped on my heart, and my old thoughts abide.
There are a hundred places where I fear
To go - so with his memory they brim.
And entering with relief some quiet place
Where never fell his foot or shone his face
I say, 'There is no memory of him here!'
And so stand stricken, so remembering him.
Edna St Vincent Millay
Shifting the Sun
When your father dies, say the Irish,
you lose your umbrella against bad weather.
May his sun be your light, say the Armenians
When your father dies, say the Welsh,
you sink a foot deeper into the earth.
May you inherit his light, say the Armenians.
When your father dies, say the Canadians,
you run out of excuses.
May you inherit his sun, say the Armenians.
When your father dies, say the French,
you become your own father.
May you stand up in his light, say the Armenians.
When you father dies, say the Indians,
he comes back as the thunder.
May you inherit his light, say the Armenians.
When your father dies, say the Russians,
he takes your childhood with him.
May you inherit his light, say the Armenians.
When your father dies, say the English,
you join his club you vowed you wouldn't.
May you inherit his sun, say the Armenians.
When your father dies, say the Armenians,
your sun shifts forever.
And you walk in his light.
Diana Der-Hovanessian
Death Is Nothing At All
Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by my old familiar name,
Speak to me in the easy way which you always used
Put no difference in your tone,
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,
Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
Just around the corner.
All is well.
Henry Scott Holland
1847-1918
Canon of St Paul’s Cathedral
The following are excerpts from “Unwanted Changes, Bits of Wisdom and Hope for Your Healing Heart” by Barbara Lee Kirchner. Barb lost her beloved husband Dan at the age of 40 in a work related accident.
Wisdom Bit #2 – Be gentle with yourself
Wisdom Bit #5 – “Mindless” work/busy work, like dishes, laundry and house cleaning, can act like a sponge to absorb some of your grief.
Wisdom Bit #6 - You are alive. It’s ok to live, laugh, and love.
Wisdom Bit #7 – Grief is hard work.
Wisdom Bit #8 – Ask for help.
Wisdom Bit #9 – Your loved one would want you to be happy.
Wisdom Bit #11 – Tell people what you need. They don’t know.
Wisdom Bit #14 – Everyone grieves differently.
Wisdom Bit #17 – The passing of time, alone, does not heal. Time and work heal.
Wisdom Bit #18 – It’s OK to be angry. It’s NOT OK to be mean.
Wisdom Bit #19 – You can get bitter or you can get better. It’s easy to get bitter. You have to work to get better.
Wisdom Bit #20 – Find a place where you can find peace.
Wisdom Bit #21 – “Letting go” does not mean forgetting. You will never forget.
Am I Done Yet? By Barb Kirchner
I really thought I was “through” my grief.
I mean, it’s been two years and ten
months; I “should” be through it.
Right? At least that’s what society tells
me.
First of all, I know I’m never supposed to
“should” on myself.
Secondly, who cares what society thinks?!
Most importantly, I confused being
“through the grief” with being “done”
with the grief.
You see, I like the feeling of being “done”
with something I kept asking
myself, “Am I done yet?”
However, the reality is, I’ll NEVER really
be “done” grieving my beloved husband.
Because I’ll always love him, I’ll always
miss him and there will always be days
I’ll cry for him.
I may, someday, be able to say: my grief
is “resolved” (whatever that means!)
and go own with my new and very
different life.
However, my husband will be a part of me
Always because he will live forever in
my heart!
Now that’s a good feeling!
No Reflections.
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