The Little Princess
A Skit for Honey I Shrunk the Kids Night / Big Night
Written by James & Karen Williams
Cast:
· Princess Li’l
· Prince Valliant
· Prince Charming
· Formerly Known As Prince
· King Stephen
· Ring Holder
The three princes and King Stephen may all be played by the same actor. We used a child from the audience for the Ring Holder.
Props:
· 3 Crowns for Princess Li’l (crown 1 fits, crown 2 is large on her head, crown 3 hangs around her neck)
· 3 Capes for Princess Li’l (cape 1 fits, cape 2 is a little too big and cape 3 swallows her whole)
· Barbie doll with crown and cape and same hair color as Princess Li’l
· Crown cape for princes (If the same actor is playing more than one prince then each prince played by that actor should have a slightly different crown or cape to help distinguish them.)
· Crown for king
· Jousting Lance & Ring.
· 2 stick horses
Scene 1:
Princess Li’l comes onto stage singing (Her crown and cape are regular size)
Not a Princess’ Life for Me (to the tune of “Yo Ho, Yo Ho, A Pirates Life For Me”)
“Oh no! Oh no! Not a princess’ life for me.
Oh no! Oh no! Not a princess’ life for me.
All rules, all duties, all schedules, no fun.
Life stinks as a princess, Oh no!
I’m clumsy, timid, afraid, and unsure
Life stinks as a princess, Oh no!
Oh no! Oh no! Not a princess’ life for me.
Oh no! Oh no! Not a princess’ life for me.”
Princess Li’l: “I can’t believe I have the duty of competing against my brothers in a jousting competition. How am I going to ride a horse and pick up rings with a lance at the same time? I hate being a princess!”
Princess Li’l walks off stage.
Scene 2:
Someone leads the Ring Holder onto stage. The ring holder, the ring and the lance should all be on stage.
Prince Valliant enters. He is riding his horse, but instead of being on stage, he’s between the stage and audience, so that he can interact with the audience. For this scene, the audience is a group of peasants who have come to watch the joust.
Prince Valliant comments on how many peasants have come to view today’s Joust. Even though he isn’t supposed to speak to commoners, he decides that he is going to give one of them a thrill and something they’ll be able to tell their grandchildren about. So, Prince Valliant rides up to one of the peasants and introduces himself. He explains that he is Prince Valliant and that today he is defending his title as the champion Jouster in all the land.
Prince Valliant rides on stage. The ring holder holds out the jousting ring to his/her side. Prince Valliant rides across the stage and lances the ring skillfully. IMPORTANT: When Prince Valliant lances the ring, the ring holder needs to let go of the ring.
Princess Li’l rides on stage. Prince Valliant rides up to Princess Li’l and hands her the lance.
Prince Valliant tells Princess Li’l that he cannot believe that the King made her participate in the joust. Prince Valliant calls her clumsy and says “girl, you’ll never win”.
Princess Li’l fumbles the lance when Prince Valliant hands it to her and accidentally hits him on the head with the lance.
Prince Valliant looks at the audience and says I told you she was clumsy.
Princess Li’l rides across the stage and has trouble with the horse and lance. She rides up to the Ring Holder and lances him/her, instead of the ring. The ring holder needs to fall over holding the lance.
Princess Li’l: “Oh no! I’m so sorry. Is there a doctor in the house? I knew I could not do it.”
Looking all embarassed, she walks off stage. While off stage, Princess Li’l puts on Crown #2 and Cape #2.
Princess Li’l is changing during the following, so Prince Valliant needs to give her enough time for the costume change. Prince Valliant walks on stage and hurries to the injured Ring Holder. Prince Valliant grabs hold of the lance and pulls with all his might. Finally, he pulls the lance free from the Ring Holder. Prince Valliant helps the Ring Holder off stage. We’re done with the horses, jousting lance and ring, so all of those should be taken off stage.
Scene 3:
Princess Li’l walks on stage all sad.
Princess Li’l: “I’m so clumsy. I can’t do anything right. I’m so small and inferior compared to my brothers. I fail at everything. I do not get a single ring and I lanced the Ring Holder. ”
Princess Li’l: “I’m so embarrassed. Tomorrow I have the duty of running in the class election? How can I face everyone, since I lanced the Ring Holder? I hate the duties of a princess”
Princess Li’l walks off stage.
Scene 4:
In this scene, the audience is the student body who is voting in today’s election for class president. Prince Charming walks into the scene between the audience and stage. He then walks up to someone in the audience.
Prince Charming introduces himself. He then strikes his most handsome pose and says to the student voter that they probably already knew who he was because of his stunning good looks. Prince Charming tells the student voter that in one hour he/she will have the privilege of voting for him.
Princess Li’l walks into the scene as well. She is also between the audience and stage, but she is a few yards from Prince Charming. She walks up to someone in the audience.
Princess Li’l introduces herself and meekly asks the student voter to vote for her. Where Prince Charming was bold and egotistical, Princess Li’l is extremely meek and introverted.
Prince Charming sees Princess Li’l. They walk on stage to talk with each other.
Prince Charming: “I didn’t see you when I came in. How is your campaign going?”
While Prince Li’l answers, Prince Charming is paying her no attention. Instead he is motioning to the student voters.
Princess Li’l “Not very well. My campaign pins arrived a week to late and are way to small.
Prince Charming, who is still not paying Princess Li’l any attention, responds “Whatever. We’ll I’ve got to go or I’ll be late for my victory celebration.”
Princess Li’l looks puzzled and says “But, the election doesn’t even start for another hour.”
Prince Charming: “Election, smelection. Everyone knows the election is just a formality. Girl, you’ll never win.”
Princess Li’l walks slowly and sadly off stage. While off-stage, Princess Li’l puts on Crown #3 which is around her neck and Cape #3 which drags the floor.
Prince Charming has to give Princess Li’l enough time to change her costume. So, Prince Charming goes over and asks people in the audience to vote for him and invites them to his victory celebration.
Scene 5:
Princess L’il walks on stage. She looks extremely depressed, her crown is around her neck and her cape covers much of her.
Princess Li’l: “I knew I’d never win. I can’t believe no one voted for me. What’s happening to me? Why is my crown around my neck? Why is my cape so big? I feel small and now I’m getting smaller and smaller. I don’t know if I have the strength to compete in the maze race tomorrow. It’s my duty, so I guess I’ll have to. I hate being a princess.
Princess Li’l walks off stage.
Scene 6:
In this scene, the audience is a group of people who have come to watch the maze race.
Formerly Know As Prince jogs between the audience and stage. The whole time Formerly Known As Prince is talking to the audience, he is jogging.
Formerly Known As Prince thanks the audience for coming to see the big race. He introduces himself as Formerly Known As Prince, the defending champion of the Maze race.
Formerly Known As Prince now jogs on stage.
Formerly Known As Prince (still jogging): “I wonder where Lil is. The maze contest is about to start and I don’t see her anywhere. She’ll never win.”
Formerly Known As Prince: “There the bell. I’m off”
What happens here will depend on the shape of your room. In our case, Formerly Known As Prince ran off-stage, ran down the middle isle of the audience and out a rear door.
Scene 7:
Princess Li’l , still wearing cape #3 & crown #3, walks on stage looking extremely depressed.
Princess Li’l: “My shoe lace broke this morning and it tool me so long to replace it that now I’m 5 minutes late. There no way I can win this race. I’m a total failure as a princess. I can’t do anything right.
Princess Li’l runs off stage following the same route a Formerly Known As Prince. But where Formerly Known As Prince ran as fast as he could, Princess Li’l runs slowly and looks depressed. Once off-stage, Princess Li’l puts on Crown #1 and Cape #1.
Scene 9:
Start this scene as soon as Pricess Li’l is out of the room.
What happens here will depend on the shape of your room. In our case, Formerly Known As Prince ran in a rear door, up the middle isle of the audience and on to stage. Formerly Known As Prince is cheering and high fiving himself.
Formerly Known As Prince: “3 minutes and 20 seconds. 3 minutes and 20 seconds, that’s a new course record”.
Formerly Known As Prince struts some more. As he walks off-stage, he wonders aloud where Princess Li’l is.
Scene 10:
If one actor is playing both Formerly Known As Prince and King Stephen, then this needs to be an extremely fast costume change. Here is what we did. King Stephen’s robe went on top of Formerly Known As Prince’s robe. So as soon as I walked out of the room, I took off my crown. Karen had the King Stephen robe ready and put it on me. I picked up the King Stephen crown and put it on my head as I walked on stage.
In this scene, the audience is a group of King Stephen’s subjects.
King Stephen walks between the stage and the audience, calling for Li’l. He introduces himself as King Stephen and asks one of his subjects if he/her has seen his daughter, Pricess Li’l. King Stephen explains that no one has seen her since the start of the race three hours ago. King Stephen walks off-stage, calling for Li’l.
Scene 11:
This scene is the key to the whole skit. The second the Barbie Doll begins talking every child in the audience will begin looking for the actress who is playing Princess Li’l. So if at all possible, Li’l needs to be out of the room but she must be able to hear King Stephen and must be somewhere where her microphone works. Here’s how we did it. We have a stage door which we rarely ever use. I stood with my back against the door and spoke loudly. Karen was on the other side of the door and could hear me through the door. Since she was just outside the door her microphone worked fine.
If you’re doing multiple performances back-to-back, I highly recommend changing the batteries in Princess Li’l’s microphone between performances. We had to do some impromptu acting during our second performance because Karen’s microphone stopped working.
King Stephen walks back on stage; he is carrying the Barbie Doll, which is dressed up as Lil.
King Stephen (talking to doll): “I’m so glad I found you, my princess. I don’t know what I’d do without you?
King Stephen: “What happened to you? Why are you so small?”
Princess Li’l (off-stage): “I’ve felt like such a failure lately. Now I’ve become as small as I feel. I can’t do anything right. My brothers are great at everything and I’m good at nothing. I just want to run away and hide. I’m no good to anyone.”
King Stephen: “Don’t run away, my princess. I’d be lost without you.”
King Stephen: “You speaking of going away reminds me of the time I had to leave for two months to sign the peace treaty. Do you remember that when I came home you had baked a beautiful cake for me?”
Princess Li’l: “Beautiful? It was horrible looking. The cake wasn’t level, the icing was lumpy and I misspelled “Welcome Home”.”
King Stephen: “It was beautiful to me, my Princess. I was gone for two months and you were the only person who did anything special to welcome me home. You made me feel loved and special.”
King Stephen: “Do you remember the time I had Chicken Pox?”
Princess Li’l: “How could I forget, I gave them to you!”
King Stephen: “But you also never left my bedside until my fever broke. You fed me, you applied cold compresses to my head, but most importantly you made me feel loved and special.”
King Stephen: “I don’t call you my princess because you wear a crown. I call you my princess because having you for a daughter makes me feel like a king.”
King Stephen (walking off-stage & talking to the doll): “You never need to feel small, because I love you.”
Scene 12:
From off-stage:
Princess Li’l: I never realized how much my Dad, the king loved me. Wow, what’s happening? I feel like I’m growing bigger.
Princess Li’l walks back on stage, wearing crown 1 and cape 1.
She is singing “A Princess’ Life for Me” (to the tune of “Yo Ho, Yo Ho, A Pirates Life For Me”)
Oh, Yes! Oh, Yes! A princess’ life for me.
Oh, Yes! Oh, Yes! A princess’ life for me.
I’m singing, I’m happy, I’m lucky and blessed
I’m special ‘cause father loves me, Oh yes!
A winner, talented, brave, and strong
I’m special ‘cause father loves me, Oh yes!
Oh, Yes! Oh, Yes! A princess’ life for me.
Oh, Yes! Oh, Yes! A princess’ life for me.
Oh, Yes! Oh, Yes! A princess’ life for me.
Conclusion:
The person who played Princess Li’l talks about feeling insignificant and sings Cast Crown’s Voice of Truth.