THE FAT CAT HASH TRASH Volume 1773

NEXT RUN

RUN DATE HARE WHERE

1774 22-Sept-14 Sir Lanceoslut 16 Hann St, Griffith

PAST RUNS FOR CAPITAL

RUN DATE HARE WHERE

1773 15-Sept-14 Sex Change Springvale Dr

Weetangera

Acting Grand Master: McTaff

Religious Advisor: Sex Change

Circle/Run Report:

On Monday evening a sizeable bunch of nervous-looking hashers gathered at Weetangera…I say ‘nervous-looking’ because they had a lot to be nervous about… The hare was Sex Change…and we all knew his runs could be invariably nasty, brutish…and long. This fact alone put an early blot on our happiness… Worse, because of his thick Scottish brogue, nobody properly understood his run details… All we heard was “the run’s aboot six …ochhh…aye…feck’n ochhh”… Expressions of alarm spread across our faces… Six what? Six kilometres? (Bloody unlikely)

Six miles? Six suburbs? Six hours of running? We lumbered off to find the trail, fearing that some of us would likely have to lie down and call for a stretcher further along…

Then a strange thing happened… The trail was uncommonly pleasant! We did a lot of gentle undulating through nature reserves…We undulated around each other…And eventually undulated our way to the drink stop…In fact, it was a mere 7kms of gentle, agreeable undulating! We were delighted beyond words!

Back in the circle, hashers happily gathered around the fire bucket like a pack of genial village idiots, and the usual buffoonery began as the Tun was ‘decanted’… Squatter’s run report sounded more like a pornographic, homoerotic sexual adventure (hash rules??) …He was “up the rear of Dangles and Scarlet”…and then “pulled away”…and later had “Date Diver up his rear”...Phwoar!! His score: -99/10. Peeping Pervert, also with a sexual theme, could only talk about “harriettes whinging their boxes off”, scoring the walk 3/10.

Stuff worth mentioning:

Returnees: Toy Boy, Crying Dick, Date Diver, Horse, Ego Testicle (late cummer).

Some charges:

Mixo – just for being a cunt

Poo Shooter – disrespected Mighty’s horn-blowing

Squatter & Mighty – Squatter took a leaf out of Mighty’s book while staying at JR’s, and wandered (pissed), into JR and Suellen’s bedroom hoping for a threesome, then tried to piss in their closet.

Mixo – pranged his car

Sex Change – lost a piece of his car

Squatter – kangaroos are putting up signs now, warning Squatter not to shoot (“no shooting” sign)

Duckhead – more Ebola proliferation over weekend

Pop Tart – aka Pop Slut, aka Slut Tart – neglect of acting RA duties

Pop Tart – unexplained sore butt after raunchy weekend with Dangles

Awards:

FRB – Meat – shortcutting bastard

Spit the Dummy – Pop Slut (unhappy about renaming)

Other awards – no show

Also some hashy birthdays and anniversaries…and some very bad jokes told by Infallible, Dangles, 2-fathers, Rambo, and Fish Finger

Announcements:

Hares required Please contact Meat (Hash Trailmaster)

Keep November free for the Thredbo weekend

Capital Hash Haberdashery for purchase – chat with Peeping Pervert or Party Pie

Check out the RA’s Hash song sheet and sing along to some ribald hash songs! Is there any other kind?

Mighty has been ‘voluntold’ to organise next year’s Bike Wine tour…Anybody interested in being on a Hash sub-committee for this event, contact Mighty at