The Chronicles Of The TCK’s (Third Culture Kids)
ADJUSTING
Christina:
“The city can't change us we beat to the same drum… ain’t no matter where we go we always find our way back home” I hummed along to the song while I watched the wet spot on my bed grow a little larger with each teardrop that fell from my eyes.I missed my friends, my old teachers, the sense of familiarity that I had with every one in my old life. Suddenly, the door to my bedroom opened and my mom still dressed in her work clothes peered her head in.
Kathy:
Upon seeing my youngest daughter in such a state I sat down on the bed and gave a hug only moms could give and asked her what was wrong. As Nana wept on MY shoulder I couldn’t help but feel sadden by my daughter’s trouble at adjusting to her new environment. No one could have better understood than me, I grew up an army brat moving from place to place it was never easy keeping friends.
Before long she had cried herself to sleep and I slipped out.
Elle:
I was a little better. Yes I missed my long time best friends but I emailed them twice a week to stay in touch. Hearing my sister’s soft sniffles through the bedroom door I decided to make it my mission that Nana got better. I was so determined that I was willing to even give a small wave to the little squirt during the school day when we passed each other during school rather than pretending I didn’t see her as I had been doing the past month.
Christina:
Tuesday at school was the same as it had been for the past 2 weeks, Nana would just sit silently while the other four members of the lunch table proceeded to either gossip, complain or look at their phones. These girls were not the kind of friends she wanted to have, they were mean and rude and though everyone gossiped, nana herself included, she would never go as far as they did that Tuesday to say it to someone’s face. The second they had finished each of their hurtful sentences; they turned to go buy ice cream. Nana however hung back, not just because ice cream hurt her sensitive teeth but also to apologize to the girl they had so graciouslytalked down on.The girl smiled at her, Nana was pretty sure her name was Joanne and couldn’t help but smile the biggest she ever had since finding out about moving to China when the girl invited Nana to sit with her the next day. Well that made 3 things to look forward to after school, a new friend, her music and surfing the web for quotes to use as her desktop background. Her current one was “I learnt that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”.
Christina:
2 weeks had gone by the new “friend” I had made turns out to be a butterfly. The second you spot her she floats away. The girls at her new lunch table were a far cry from the previous one, the didn’t care what others thought, they were just themselves, but yet at the same time I felt like an outsider with their easy friendship with each other. Joanne would sit down for a few minutes to finish up whatever snack she had bought the slip away as silently as a cat. I didn’t get it, if she didn’t want to hang out with me, why invite me in the first place? I got up put my tray away and left the lunchroom to go immerse myself in what I always did in my free time- read.
Elle:
I was making my way to the library to meet up with Norah to study for the physics test during our free block. Walking in I thought I saw Nana but didn’t slow my walk to make sure. After all while would my social butterfly of a sister be in here during her lunch period. I’ll ask her about her day when we get home.
Christina:
As I walked to the couch to put down my 5-ton school bag, I was shocked to see Mom was home. She must have worked from home today.
Kathy:
“Hey girls how was your day?” I asked my 2 younger kids. As always Elle gave me the “look” as if to say “I’m 16 mom! My day was fine”, While my baby just shrugged her shoulders. She must not have had a good day, usually at every chance she got Nana would be chattering my ear off. I didn’t press it, I’d rather wait till she’s done with her homework before I get her in a worse mood than the one she was already in.
Christina:
“I still fall on my face sometimes and I, can't color inside the lines 'cause
I'm perfectly incomplete, I'm still working on my masterpiece and I…”Any second now and I new my mom would tap on the door, I always managed to finish my homework by 4.30 and it was now 4.45. Judging from the look that crossed her face when she asked me about my day, she wanted more than just shoulders. In 5, 4,3,2 and
Kathy:
I knocked before peeking my head in. There she was sitting up in bed, I recoiled at first because she looked like she was expecting company. She had actually taken those silly earplugs out. Usually I would have to shout like I was talking to a deaf person in order for her to hear me. “Hey sweetie, you want to tell mommy about your day?”…
IT’S IMPORTANT TO BE WELCOMING TO NEW FRIENDS BECAUSE EEVERYONE IS INSECURE WHEN STEPPING OUT OF THEIR COMFORT ZONE. A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE WELCOMING BUT AFTER HANGING OUT WITH SOMEONE AFTER SOME TIME MIGHT FEEL THEY BUTT HEADS A LOT. IN THIS CASE ACKNOWLEDGE THE PROBLEM BY TELLING SOMEONE YOU TRUST ON WHAT TO DO.
BEING DIFFERENT
Christina:
It was halfway into the school year and I had finally made friends that treated me as well as others respectfully. They were all different but in a way all fit together.My current desktop background?“Me and you is friend. You smile, I smile… You hurt, I hurt… You cry, I cry… You jump off a bridge- I’m gonna miss your emails.”Everything was great… except for the teachers. I was annoyed to say the least. My old teachers were constant, an half-hour to and hour from each and 3 hours during holidays and breaks. But nope, not these teachers. They give you an hour one day and none the next. I haven’t been able to make my study schedule because of them, how in the worldwas I supposed to organize my time without a study schedule!?
Besides homework the teachers were actually ok, not so much the coaches. The truth twisting lady said, and I quote “ I feel that I’m going to move some of you to the other team” oh yeah, here there are two teams because though they didn’t kick anyone off the team, they had no shame in helping you understand if you were valuable to the team or not. A lot of girls on the team really brightened at that but guess what? She didn’t move a single person, nothing, nada, zilch. Well it wasn’t that important anyway, I was only doing the sport for exercise, basketball was more my thing.
Elle:
Nana was finally adjusting and I already had a awesome group of friends too. There was only one thing stopping from being in heaven. The talk. I know I should be used to it by now. I wasn’t depressed or anything but I couldn’t help but being hurt and letting my emotions get the best of me every time someone just had to open their mouth to say something. Why is the color of my skin such a big factor of who I am. I admit that everyone judges but that’s because it’s the unknown, we all assume to. And in the great words of my 9th grade English teacher “Assuming makes a butt out of you and me, literally” I snapped out of it, I shouldn’t be pitying myself, there were obviously others in the school who were under the same circumstances. And little Christy had definitely gone through much more going to a local school in Singapore where she was the only one in the whole school with ethnicity. The profanities used to describe us were definitely not new to my twelve year old sister and no matter how hard my mom had tried to protect us from the inhumane acts of this world, we were still affected. I guess in a way I’m okay that it actually happened because one day, she’s not going to be there and I’ll have to do things on my own.
Kathy:
I had just gotten home and was finishing up an old case when I heard my kids yelling. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes, just when things were calming down. It wasn’t a secret that Elle was having a hard time in school due to the cliché reason of skin color. She was dealing with it pretty well though, at least at school. But at home it was Nana that unfortunately received the blunt of her frustrations.
DISCRIMINATING PEOPLE IS NOT OKAY. HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF PEOPLE AVOIDED YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR EYES, HAIR, CLOTHES?
IT GOING TO BE OKAY
Lexi:
I had just gotten off the phone with my mom. My stupid roommate is crazy. The RA has come over twice in less than a month to talk to her about being respectful to others personal things and being considerate and not blow dry hair at TWO AM!
The RA is coming over again today with a member of the board, its her last strike after her little stunt last night. I was so nervous about her reaction I decided too look at the scrapbook Chrissie made me for high school graduation. There were little passages on each page she came up with herself taking them from pomes or songs or quotes. My favorite was “Still I rise as you push me down, I may have 99 problems but you are no longer 1. I do not go gentle as I walk down this road not taken, shaking the dust as I go because I learnt that if I’ve got a brain, a heart and a soul I can succeeded. If I fail, its okay because its my first attempt in learning and the greatest glory lies in never falling but in rising every time we fall. I’m not afraid of being inadequate, I’m afraid of being powerful beyond measure. Who am I not to be who I am? Thank you for everything you’ve ever done to me because that has only made me stronger.”
EVERYONE GOES THROUGH OBSTACLES IN LIFE, THERE ARE OVER 7 BILLION PEOPLE IN THE WORLD TO LET JUST A FEW STOP YOU. THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING THAT CAN BE DONE WHEN YOU FEEL LOST, YOU JUST HAVE TO TAKE THE FIRST STEP.
NOTHINGS IMPOSSIBLE
John:
GAH! Of all the places we could have moved my wife decided China! I could barely speak 2 words of Chinese and it seems like the second I leave the tuition center everything I just learnt disappears into thin air. Good thing the kids are fluent in Chinese, they always help me.
Christina:
“No Dad, not zck, it zhh. Watch my lips ‘Kay” . We’d been at it for over an hour and he had just begun to get the basics. I love my dad but you can take my name off the list for “Help Dad With Chinese” I’d rather do conditioning with Elle than do this for another hour but I wont give up on him. I will drill these terms into my dad’s mind until he can say it in his sleep because that’s what he did for me when I was young.
My parents had enrolled me in a childcare program at 3 months. They knew I wouldn’t be speaking any time soon but just listening was enough. Because of this, I was around Chinese speakers more than English ones so by the time I was five, when frustrated with something would result to explaining in Chinese.
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE JUST TRY, TRY AGAIN. THE WORD IT SELF STATES “I’M POSSIBLE” YOU JUST HAVE TO SET YOUR MIND TO IT AND WORK HARD NOTHING GREAT IS EVER ACHIEVED WITHOUT HARD WORK.
WHAT’S BEST
Kathy:
I was stressed to say the least. My daughter’s birthday was in 2 days and where would I be? In a country halfway across the world. To make matters worse, I had signed her up for an exchange program which she only excepted because she did not want me to keep pressing her. The second she saw the date was on her birthday she cracked. 3 times. In the past 2 weeks. It hurt me to see her this way; she got so angry every the time the subject was brought up.I had her best interest at heart but being a kid, I guess it was hard for her to see that.
SOMETIMES OUR PARENTS DO THINGS THAT MIGHT CAUSE US TO FEEL HURT OR ANGRY. LIKE THEY DON’T WANT US. WHAT WE SOMETIMES DON’T UNDERSTAND IS THEY DO SO WE HAVE THEY CHANCE TO EXPERIENCE EVERYTHING. SO THAT ONE DAY IN THE FUTURE WE WONT LOOK BACK AND REGRET WHAT WE DIDN’T DO RATHER THAN BE ABLE TO LOOK BACK AND THINK “IM GLAD MY PARENTS MADE ME DO THAT”. THINGS LIKE THIS ARE ALSO 1ST WORLD PROBLEMS. A KID IN A 3RD WORLD COUNTRY WOULD JUMP AT THE CHANCE, SO BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE.