The Are You Apathetic? Rubric (20% of Formative Grades)

The Are You Apathetic? Rubric (20% of Formative Grades)

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Goals: how much do you care about what it is I told you that you’re supposed to be able to know or do? / I was warned. I was given an explanation. Nevertheless, I persisted in believing that your goals for me are not my goals for myself. / I have entered into a cold-war style agreement of mutual assured destruction. I will set just enough goals to ensure that you can do a reasonably good job, in hopes that I am not bothered too often. / Your goals are my goals. You want me to do chapter summaries? Done. Pythagorean theorem? You bet. Golden Age of Greece? More like Golden Age of self-selecting my own goals from your prescribed list of approved goals! I am very excited to blindly trust authority with the direction of my life.
Self-regulation: how seriously do you take the process of meeting the goals I’ve told you to set for yourself? / I have made the decision to not take the advice that I hadn’t asked for, and therefore will live my life incapable of basic 21st century skills, such as making inferences and working with others. / Instead of choosing to be a dead salmon in the middle of a fast-moving river, going with the flow, I’ve chosen to be a dead salmon on the river bank, just lying and rotting. / I carefully and painstakingly reach my goals based on the apt, cogent, and timely feedback that you give me, and I am surprised yet gratified to see how nicely the result resembles everybody else’s results.
Your Grades: How important is it to you what a series of strangers think about your capacity to know or do; how seriously do you take their quantification of your academic worth, down to a single percentage point? / I have chosen to not take my grades seriously, and therefore there is no way to hold me accountable. I will continue to make my own decisions for my own life until I am forced into an alternative placement or am rejected by the system entirely. / I have internalized years of mediocre grades and now believe I am a mediocre person. I am willing to do just enough to pass, but I view it as an economic transaction rather than an opportunity for self-betterment, e.g., doing these things gets me enough points to be released from this place. / I know that the numeric valuation of the one thing that separates me from an animal – my capacity for abstract thought – is valid and reliable. How you rate me is very important and I’ve learned to do just about anything in exchange for this extrinsic reward. I also appreciateyour affirmation of my superiority over my peers.

“2”s are college and career ready.

“1”s are not living up to their potential, but given a couple cycles of action research, may be saved.

“0”s are not ready for the rigors of the 21st century.

Students who do not write in blue or black ink or request written permission to use the bathroom, who socialize with peers in class, or who skip class to go waste time in the world, may score no more than a “1” in all categories.