Ten Tips on How to Communicate with Autistic People
BySteve Summerson Thursday, May 3, 2012 at 10:50pm ·
A Guide on How to Communicate with Autistic People
By Steve Summers
1. Please always keep in mind that communication difficulties are common with Autism. We have difficulties in reading social cues and body language. Be patient and understanding.
2. We tend to take things literally and have often trouble reading between the lines. As a result, we may ask a lot of questions to clarify what is meant by something that you say. I have been told that I ask a lot of questions. Don't be offended by this. It is our way of being sure that we understand what you are telling us. We may repeat back to you in our own words to try and get on the same page as you.
3. If we misunderstand something that you say, please be patient and expand on what you said and explain what you meant. Don't assume a negative or hostile intent from us if we misunderstand something that you said. Keep in mind that communication can be difficult for us. Things that come naturally to you take extra effort by us.
4. Please don't get offended by our communication style. We tend to be frank, honest and matter of fact. Some people may interpret this as blunt or rude. We don't intend to offend you by not sugar coating the things that we say. We don't intend to be rude.Please don't get defensive or assume that we are attacking you. Remember that communicating is hard for us. Don't make negative assumptions. Too often we get corrected or attacked by someone who fails to give us some slack and the benefit of the doubt.
5. Please don't expect eye contact. We may be able to force eye contact, but it is not comfortable for us. Making eye contact takes a conscious effort. This effort may take away from listening and understanding what you are saying. I tend to look at a person's mouth more often than their eyes. Other autistic people will rarely look at your face. This is ok.
6. Please keep in mind that we most likely have been rejected, excluded, ridiculed or bullied in the past. If we seem anxious or insecure this may be due to living in a world that misunderstands us and is often hostile to us. We have to work hard to reach out to others. Please work at reaching back to us with understanding and kindness. If we feel that you are ignoring us we will feel bad about that. We may persist in asking for feedback from you. Please be reassuring and clearly express your support for us.
7. Please don't speak down to us. Treat us as equals. We may sound flat or have an unusual tone to our voice. We may not speak with our voice at all. We may need to type our words. Please be patient with us. It may take us a while to formulate our answers.
8. Please don't talk too loudly or yell at us. It is very jarring to us. It makes me jump when someone comes up to me and talks too loudly. It is like having someone jump out in the dark yelling "BOO!" at me. It causes an adrenalin dump in my body. I don't like this.
9. Please do NOT touch us without warning. It will make us jump. We don't like unexpected touches.
10. Please don't assume that we lack empathy or emotion. We pick up on negative or judgmental attitudes. We know when people look down on us or are hostile to us. We will shut down if you show us a lack of respect.
Please keep in mind that we are all different. These issues will vary from person to person. The above tips are written from my perspective as an autistic person. This is just a guide. Feel free to ask me any questions so that I may expand and clarify any areas that aren't clear to you.Thank you for reading this guide. ~ Steve Summers
Top of Form
Share
·
· 24 peoplelike this.
· 131 shares
·
o
Zoey Robertsits great steve sharing!
May 3 at 11:39pm·1
o
Donna WoodsThank you so much for sharing Steve, what a brilliant insight.
May 3 at 11:54pmviamobile·2
o
Elsie Tacio Shontoganthanks for sharing...:)
May 4 at 1:13am·2
o
Kylie SimmonsThis is great Steve, really well written :)
May 4 at 2:33am·3
o
Steve SummersThanks guys! I am glad that you like it! =D
May 4 at 3:09am·2
o
Antonina SteynbergThank for great article, Steve. May i translate your text into Russian and post it on site for russain-language autistic people?
May 4 at 5:03pm·3
o
Steve SummersThat's a wonderful idea,Antonina! Yes I would like that if you could do that. Thank you! =)
May 4 at 5:05pm·2
o
Steve SummersI would love to see thatAntonina. Would you please send me the link after you post it? Thanks. =)
May 4 at 5:20pm·1
o
Steve SummersWOW! I see up there ^ that the 'shares' count is all the way up to 93 shares now! And, this list has been posted for less than a day! This is awesome! I am so happy to see that people find this list helpful to them. Thank you to all of you! =)
May 4 at 5:25pm·2
o
Steve SummersCarrie Anderson Coolingalso shared my 'Guide on How to Communicate with Autistic People' on her blog, 'Parenting With Asperger's.' Thank you, Carrie! =)
May 4 at 5:28pm·1
o
Antonina Steynbergof course I'll do it,Steve:)
May 4 at 5:40pm·2
o
Carrie CoolingYou're welcome, Steve! :)
Here's the link for anyone who would like to look:http://parentingwithaspergers.com/how-to-communicate-with-autistic-people/
May 4 at 8:52pm·1
o
Steve SummersThank youAntonina! I really appreciate you doing the translation and sharing my note.
May 4 at 9:57pm
o
Steve SummersThanksCarrie, for posting your blog link. I meant to post it and got side-tracked before I hit 'enter.' Good catch! =)
May 4 at 9:58pm
o
Carrie Cooling:D No prob. :)
May 4 at 9:58pm·1
o
Kate Goldfieldyou hit the nail on the head Steve - I could relate to every single one pf them!
Saturday at 6:56am·1
o
Kate Goldfieldi think i liked #2 and 9 best
Saturday at 6:57am·1
o
Autismoe Cetoi hav al these issues everydae an ppl gt pissed caus i tak thngs literally thy expect me tu read faces a n i cant
Saturday at 8:25am·1
o
Autismoe Cetoppl expect me tu red ther non verbal cues an im lousy an im excludede a lor rehjeckted -ppl al ovr need these rules tu observe whn interactin wth us
Saturday at 8:26am·1
o
Autismoe Cetoppl wil touvch me thn act lik im weird caus i dnt lik it -ppl wil tlk doun tu me caus qwth autism mi brain dsnt hear what s being said as they ar sayin it an i hav tu repeat ovr tu explain it an ppl git mean tu me an thy asume im uncaring caus i express emotions dferentli -cntinu dear steve tu gt it out abt howe the Nt society needs tu undrstand us autistiks ur mi hero
Saturday at 8:29am·1
o
Autismoe Cetoan im in triouvbl a lot as i tak everythng literali an bore ppl wth mi entomology stuff
Saturday at 8:29am·1
o
Autismoe Cetoase an adult wth autism im rejected a lot an feel unwanted an i dnt mean tu com in here an post a lot bt ur artikl is exactli howe i tu experinse life livin ina NT werld tht laks awareness
Saturday at 8:31am·1
o
Steve SummersThank youAutismoe. You are awesome. Don't let anyone get you down. The nice people take the time to appreciate your art and your knowledge. The mean ones are not worth worrying yourself over.
Saturday at 8:32am
o
Autismoe Cetoeywe contacts painfuil an ppl asum ur dishonest caus i kt look in ther face
Saturday at 8:32am·1
o
Autismoe Cetolivin ina nt werlds so hard i wsh everyone had these rules stamped ontu ther mind tu cmunikate wth me an others lik u an me as its so hard
Saturday at 8:33am·1
o
Autismoe Cetolivin ina NT werlds so dferent frm the werld im usd tu a werld wher eye cntacts nt so important an ppl undrstand where ur coming from -ppl asume caus u look normal ur tu read ther face wel thy dnt live as we have tu ina nt werld
Saturday at 8:35am·1
o
Autismoe Cetodear syeve ur an incredabil person an ur courageous an u giv me hope so i cn git truth out ina werld lackin awareness abt ppl lik us
Saturday at 8:37am·2
o
Steve SummersThank you. You are too kind! We are all working toward helping people to learn more understanding and acceptance for autism.
Saturday at 8:40am
o
Autismoe Cetoan caus ppl sae im tyu tu kind then im a lier an dnt hav autis ect
Saturday at 8:42am
o
Sunnie SoapsThis is a great article, Steve! And one my brother will appreciate reading also as it is very informative. Thanks so much for sharing and I will post on my page too (if you don't mind)?! You are our pioneer of understanding autism and building awareness to this community of people. Thanks again :) Cici
Saturday at 7:41pm·1
o
Steve SummersThank you Cici (Sunnie)! I am happy to help. I am amazed at all the people sharing this all over the globe! It's awesome! Thank you to all who have shared this! =)
Saturday at 9:43pm
o
Christy Chesney GaborShared! I appreciate you putting down in words what my friends may not know. I have serious issues with my students on these issues!
Yesterday at 1:08am·1
o
Autismoe Cetoam i a poineer tu as most ppl ovrlook me an thnk im a dumbass
Yesterday at 1:10am
o
Steve SummersAutismoe Cetoyou are not overlooked here! You are awesome! =)
Yesterday at 1:12am
o
Autismoe Cetothnk u dere steve as ur incredabil tu an i lov ur werk gttin info out tu hlp mainstreem tu understand us -ppl ovr here asume tht if u cn talk tht ur not autistik ect an if u hav mor then 1 interest ect '
Yesterday at 1:14am·1
o
Autismoe Cetoan i lov ppl lik me an the spectrnm is beutiful
Yesterday at 1:18am·1
o
Steve SummersAutismoe, you have an amazing story to tell. You should not let anyone question your diagnosis. Non-speaking until 12 years old and learning to communicate is a wonderful achievement that you can be proud of. You don't let your Dyslexia stop you and you have lot's of great things to say. You are an awesome artist and smart too. Pay no attention to the negative people. They don't count. =)
Yesterday at 1:19am
o
Autismoe Cetodere stweve ur incredabil awsomism -smartism ana tru hero fr autism rights an dignity ur mi hero in every wae
Yesterday at 1:20am·1
o
Autismoe Cetoim goin tu be ina presntation in mi toun abt ppl wth dsabilitys an im gin tu peromo autism awareness so tht ppl wil undrstand us
Yesterday at 1:21am·1
o
Steve SummersGreat! You are doing a great job promoting autism awareness and acceptance!
Yesterday at 1:22am
o
Autismoe Cetoyese as thts mi mission -im asn author an ilustrator an advocate fr autism rights an inklusion as i faced prejudice an hatered an lik mi hero grandin i lov animls an al livin things
Yesterday at 1:24am·1
o
Autismoe Cetowhen ur autistik u shold e advocate everydae so the mainstreem werld lerns tu acepyt us as ther equals
Yesterday at 1:29am·1
o
Kristen Szathmary
#10!!!!!!!!! my son age 3.5 has great empathy, he will show emotion during sad parts of movies, and shows or even commercials there is one in particular it's mostly music and its a psa I think for the army and he goes to the tv and is entr...See More
18 minutes ago·1
o
Steve Summers
ThanksKristen! You son's emotions and empathy are clear from your stories. Have you joined this FB page yet? My friendRachel Cohen-Rottenbergruns it. I highly recommend it.
"Autism and Empathy
Description
...See More
5 minutes ago·1
o
Kristen Szathmaryno I haven't but sure will now thanks for the link:)
4 minutes ago·1
Bottom of Form