Taking Our Annual Inventory

Rabbi Harry A. Silverstein
Emeritus -- Temple Beth Am
First Day of Rosh Hashanah, 1981

Taking Our Annual Inventory

The Torah reading for this first morning of Rosh Hashanah told of the birth of Isaac toSarah and Abraham in their old age."And the L-rd Remembered Sarah as he had said, andthe L-rd did unto Sarah as he had spoken" (Gen. 21:1)."And Sarah conceived and boreAbraham a son in his old age" (Gen. 21:2).

In this morning's Haftorah portion, taken from the First Book Of Samuel, we read of thebirth of Samuel to Elkanah and Hannah.For many years, Hannah was childless.Finally, theHigh Priest Eli heard her prayers for a child, and gave her his blessing.A year later, Samuelwas born to Hannah and Elkanah.So we see that both Sarah and Hannah felt that life wasnot complete without a child.

Later we find that Isaac's wife Rebecca was barren, without children."And Isaacentreated the L-rd for his wife, because she was barren, and Rebecca, his wife, conceived"(Gen. 25:21).Later we read of our matriarch Rachel, "And when Rachel saw that she boreJacob no children, she said to Jacob, 'Give me children, or else I die'" (Gen. 30:1).

The portion of the Torah which we read this morning is also read during the course of theannual weekly cycle of the Torah portion.Today's portion is also read during PARSHATVA'YERA, the fourth portion of the Book of Genesis.The Haftorah portion of THAT Shabbatis similar to the story of Sarah and Hannah who had no children for many years.It's thestory of the Prophet Elisha and the Shunamite woman who, with her husband, was veryhospitable to Elisha and his assistant Gechazi.She too, like our matriarch, wasn't able toconceive, and Gechazi said to the Prophet Elisha, "Verily she has no son and her husband isold" (Kings II, 4:14).Elisha told her that in a year's time, she and her husband would beblessed with a son, and so did it happen."And the woman conceived and bore a son at thatseason, when the time came around, as Elisha had said unto her." (Kings II, 4:17).

The narrative then tells us that the lad grew up, went out to the field to his father.Hebecame ill and fainted and was brought to his mother who held him on her knees till Noon,and then we're told that he died.Then she had her husband send one of their servants withher to find Elisha and Gechazi.

When Elisha saw her, he had Gechazi ask her: "Is it well with you?Is it well with yourhusband?Is it well with the child?" (Kings II, 4:26).Surprisingly her simple answer was "Itis well.""Everything is fine."She didn't want to talk of her troubles in front of anyone.Weare then told that Elisha put his mouth upon the child's mouth, and his eyes upon the lad'seyes, and his hands upon the boy's hands, and he stretched himself upon him, "And the fleshof the child waxed warm" (Kings II, 4:34).And the child came back to life, a miracle.AndElisha Said:"Take up your son," (Kings II, 4:36) which she did.

There is one aspect of this story that everyone ignores, and that is the three questionsthat Elisha asked of the young Shunamite woman.Do you remember these questions?"Is itwell with you?Is it well with your husband?Is it well with your child?"And even though shethought her son was dead, she said "Shalom," "Everything is fine with me."

These seem like simple questions.Actually, they were very profound questions.Ibelieve these three questions should be the questions we are asking ourselves on this YOMHA'DIN, this Day Of Judgement.When we take a CHESHBON HA'NEFESH, an inventory ofour lives as we ask ourselves (Silverman High Holy Day Prayer Book, Page 31):

What are we? What is our life? What is our goodness? What our righteousness? What our help? What is our strength? What is our might? What can we say beofre you O'L-rd, our G-d and G-d of our fathers?

We're interested in knowing whether we're successful or failures in our lives.What's thefirst question Elisha asked?"Is it well with you?"He wasn't asking:"How is your health?""How do you feel?"He was asking a totally different question.

The word SHALOM has many meanings and emotions. It means "Peace."It means"Hello."It means "Goodbye."And it comes from the work SHALEM which means complete.

When Elisha asked, "Is it well with you -- HA'SHALOM LACH" -- he meant, do you feelcomplete?Do you feel as if you're in a state of peace?Is your conscience clear?Is it atpeace, or is it bothered?That's what he was asking her.Can you live with yourself, or issomething bothering you?When you arise in the morning and look in the mirror, can youlook yourself in the eye?Or are you ashamed to stare at yourself?

I don't mean this in regard to the physical picture you see.William Pitt told the artist: "Paint me with all my warts."Do you feel you're doing something meaningful in life?Areyou satisfied with your life?Are you happy, adjusted, contented?

At times we can be our own worst enemies.In The Ethics Of The Fathers (Pirke Avot)we're told:"Rabbi Eleazar Ha-Kappar said: "Envy, desire and ambition drive a man out ofthis world" (Pirke Avot 4:28).

Three things can make a person dissatisfied with him or herself.These are three majorcauses of unhappiness, people are jealous.Someone in the office just received apromotion, so-and-so is earning $100,000.00 a year and has good tax shelters.He drives aRolls-Royce, he has a young wife.

Sometimes things are not what they seem to be.We think others are better off than weare.We may think the other person's load is lighter, but no one wants to trade problems. The Dubner Maggid once gave a parable.A horse and a mule were pacing down a road. The horse was strutting proudly.He was bedecked with many ornaments while the mule waslumbering along under the weight of two heavy sacks.The mule looked enviously at thehorse and said:"I wish I could change places with you.You get the best of everything. Your saddle is beautiful.When it comes to hard work, why, you are immune from it.Sucha life as yours is worth living." A few days later, a war broke out.A soldier, engaged in combat, rode that horse.Anenemy's bullet hit the horse, wounding him fatally.As the horse was heaving his last breath,the mule arrived on the scene, carrying a cask of water for the soldier's comfort.Eyeingthe dying horse, the mule said:"O' dear friend, now I realize that my begrudging your lifehad no basis in reality.""Better a poor security than a rich danger."

Yes, envy is one of the greatest destroyers of human happiness.Most of the time whatwe see is an illusion.The grass always seems greener on the other side.The next greatdestroyer of human happiness is the TA'A'VAH -- lust or desire.Rabbi Judah The Prince said: "A person dies without achieving even half of what he desires of life."People who live insmall homes want larger ones.If your neighbor has a maid, you need a maid and agardener.

Some men want to feel young by marrying wives much younger than they.There's thestory of the Yeminite Jew who arrived in Israel in 1948.In Yemen, if an Arab walked on thesidewalk, the Jew had to walk on the street so he would be lower.If an Arab rode on ahorse, the Jew had to ride on a donkey.In Tel Aviv, he walked into a tall building and sawan elderly lady enter the elevator.A couple of minutes later, he saw a young lady walk outof the same elevator.Immediately he ran home, grabbed his wife, brought her to thebuilding and shoved her into the elevator.

The third great destroyer of human happiness is KAVOD, people want honor.We live afew miles from Hollywood where it's very important to have top billing on the marquee. People are desperately searching for honor.They are insecure -- not sure of themselves. In The Ethics Of The Fathers we read, "Whoever seeks honor, that honor eludes him,"InNovember of 1980, after Ronald Reagan became President, Jody Powell, Jimmy Carter'sChief Of Staff Said:"The day after the election, the telephones stopped ringing."

My friends, at least once a year, we have to ask ourselves:"Was I envious, lustful anda seeker of honor?""Is my conscience clear?""Have I insulted or embarrassed anyone?" "Am I satisfied with my lot in life?"Now is the time to get our priorities in order and tocorrect our behavior.

There was a second question Elisha asked of the Shunamite woman:"HA'SHALOML'ISHAICH?" -- "How is your husband?"In a sense he was asking:"How is your home life? Is there love and affection between you and your husband, or is there strife and animosity? Is there trust and confidence between the two of you, or is there suspicion and strain?"Doyou know how to say, "I'm Sorry" to your loved one?To compromise?To be considerate? To share common interests?To be able to communicate with each other?Is your home stilla Jewish home, or is it simply the house in front of the garage?

You who are husbands, do you run so fast to business that you forget to walk throughlife's joys?No grindstone can sharpen affection or give an edge to living.No one has everpackaged love nor packaged friendship, except in his heart and by the work of his spirit.

You who are wives, are you more concerned over a wrinkled forehead than over awrinkled spirit?Seek an inner beauty, of which the outer will be a reflection.To your faith,are you a Royal servant, a daughter of the King of Kings, the Holy One, Blessed be He?

To husbands and wives who are in the Autumn of life, is each day beautiful with thebright and lovely colors of the fall?Do you share beautiful memories?Has some seed ofkindness, which you planted long ago and have since forgotten, taken root somewhere andflowered in some good life?Are the boughs of your Tree Of Life heavy with the fruit of lovefrom dear ones, and of affection from friends so that you have no regrets for the past, nodissatisfaction with the present, no concern for the future?Will you always be wanted andneeded because you are always loved?

There was still a third question:"HA'SHALOM LA'YELED" -- "Is it well with your child?" How is it with your children?What kind of children are you raising?Are you proud of them? Do you have Nachas?Are they respectful or self-centered?Are they kind or irresponsible? Do they have compassion for others, or are they spiteful?Can you have a heart-to-hearttalk with them, or do they simply ignore you?Do they write to you when they're away atcollege, or is the only time you see their handwriting when they endorse your monthly check?

This is what Rosh Hashanah is all about, our children.Are our children another link in thechain of our family's way of life?Or are they merely strangers to us and to what isimportant to us?Is each day a growing day for them, with strength for the body andspaciousness for the spirit?Are you encouraging them to love knowledge and to understandthe friendliness of books and the joy of music?Can you teach them not to be afraid of theirown weaknesses, nor of the world's evil?Do they know how to hear G-d and to trust him?

Does your devotion to your children serve their needs and their abilities, and not YOURambitions?Are you helping them to grow into what they have the capacity to become, andnot what you think they think they ought to be?Are you molding them in the image of G-d,and not in your own image?

My friends, who is successful?He or she who can say SHALOM LEE, my conscience isclear,My home life is strong.My children are truly a source of pride to my wife and me. That is the true meaning of success.

I hope that when we ask ourselves these three questions, we will be able to reply: SHALOM LEE -- It is well with me.If so, we are truly successful, and may we continue to besuccessful during the coming year.

AMEN

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