Wisdom Circles-January 2015
Wisdom Transforms – Guilt
Suffering: Dying Freely-Living Fully
The Way of Wisdom
The Book of Psalms embraces all of life and holds it up to us for reflection and
learning. It becomes a text of transformation and grace. On the one hand, Psalm 32 humbly
acknowledges “by day and night guilt laid heavy in my heart; my spirit became dry as desert
bones”. And on the other hand Psalm 51 pours out the prayer “According to your abundant
kindness, forgive me where my thoughts and deeds have hurt others”. This movement from
guilt to forgiveness reaches its fullness in Psalm 143 “Strength comes with pureness of
heart. Cleanse me anew, O Gentle Healer. This yearning within my soul is naught but the
inner birthright to know and live in you.”
Those of us committed to living the Way of Wisdom encounter the struggle to be
true to ourselves, our conscience and our desire for fullness of life. At times we may know
the honest guilt and regret of our actions that have hurt or diminished others. At other times
we may become caught in the quagmire of a blinding, unredeemed sense of our guilt and
unworthiness. The presence of Wisdom in our life can help us discern between the two and
move toward that fullness of life we so long for andrecognize as God’s deepest desire for us
all.
Scripture Texts:
Isaiah 38:16-20Psalm 51:1-4Luke 19:1-9
Jeremiah 31:27-34Psalm 130:1-8Romans 5:6-11
What wisdom do these scripture offer you about guilt? About dying freely and
living fully?
From: The Book of Qualities, J. Ruth Gendler, Guilt, p. 25
Guilt is the prosecutor who knows how to make every victim feel like a criminal.
She follows the scent of doubt and self-hatred to its sources. She will not tell you what
you have done wrong. Her silence is brutal. Her disapproval surrounds you in an
envelope of cold nameless terror.
Guilt thinks I am hopelessly lazy because I won’t work the way she does. Her
court cases are scheduled years in advance. She says horrible things about me to the
neighbors. In self-defense sometimes I tell people what she says about me before she
has the chance. I don’t care as much as I did, but I can’t pretend I don’t care at all.
You may recognize Guilt’s footsteps before you see her coming. She limps like a
crippled bird. Even though her broken ankle is healing, the wound in her heart has been
infected.
From: Finding Forgiveness, by Camille D’Arienzo, R.S.M., in America, Nov. 24, 2014
… In December 1998 David contacted me. He was then facing an execution date of January
14, 1999 for killing a cellmate. In the cell adjoining his was Timothy McVeigh. Both inmates
wereintelligent. McVeigh had been an altar boy and David was preparing to become a
Catholic. However, each man held different reactions to his own crime. McVeigh was not
remorseful; David was.
… When David contacted me, he wrote: “I am looking for someone to serve as a spiritual
guide for the remaining weeks of my life and to pray for me and for my victimwhom I killed
in prison.” Overthe following months I had become aware of the man’s past – his miserable
childhood, hisdependency on drugs, the crimes that led him to prison and eventually, into
my life. In the15 years since that introduction, annual visits, occasional phone calls and
many letters have broughtus together and formed our friendship.
…During those years I witnessed the transformation in David. Above all, David had come to
believe in God’s absolute love and desire to forgive allwho repent. As McVeigh’s execution
date approached David tried to convince him of his own belief. He spoke to McVeigh of the
need to express sorrow and ask forgiveness of the victim’s families. That did nothappen.
After McVeigh’s execution, I visited David. His nearest neighbor in prison was gone
and he felt sorrow at having failed to convince McVeigh to express remorse. The reality of
the possibility of his own death by lethal injection weighed heavily on him. David was
depressed. He judged the whole of his life by his failure to influence McVeigh and saw
himself as useless, without purpose.
As the end of our visit approached, I had an idea: “David, you do artwork. How
would you feel about designing a Christmas card? I’ll provide thetext, get it printed and do
the marketing. Whatever money we make can go to help children who are poor and at risk.”
He perked up and within a month he sent me the first of a dozen cards – one each year –
that have helped raise approximately$92,000 which we have distributed to agencies that
care for children. The Sisters of Mercy who run residential schools in Jamaica, West Indies,
have received money forwoodworking and computer supplies, as well as funding for their
animal husbandry and catering projects. Agencies from Brooklyn to Indianapolis have been
the recipients of the proceeds. Those organizations include an agency serving incarcerated
or paroled women and their children; an agency serving developmentally challenged adults;
an after-school enrichment program for childrenof immigrants and computer training and
ESL for neighborhood adults; and a medical missionary.
In June of 2014, David was afforded a retrial. His presence in the courtroom via
Skype allowed him to observe the proceedings but not to participate in them. The judge
listened attentively to all who spoke for the prosecution and the defense. At the conclusion of
the trail the judge decided that David would receive life without parole, and he was removed
from death row. He, in turn, plans to spend his time in prison serving others in whatever way
he can.
As you reflect on this month’s theme and readings,
What insights and awareness do the reveal about appropriate guilt?
What has been helpful for you? What has been challenging?
Wisdom Circles-January 2015
Wisdom Transforms – Guilt
Suffering: Dying Freely-Living Fully
Setting:a candle, a cloth, image or symbol of guilt
Opening Song or Chant of your choice
Reading:Luke 19:1-9
Response:Psalm 32 from Nan Merrill, Psalms for Praying
When I acknowledge not my shortcomings, I become ill through all my defenses.
And day and night, guilt weighed heavy in my heart; my spirit became dry as desert bones.
I admitted my faults to the most high and I made known my regret;
I cried out: Forgive me, O Comforter, for those times I have sinned in my thoughts, words
and deedsand the Beloved created a clean heart within me.
O my Beloved, you are my guide and my teacher; be watchful over me, give me your counsel.
I pray for the gifts of inner peace and wisdom, for the gift of reverence for life.
Many are the heartaches of those separated from love;
Steadfast love abides with those who surrender their lives into the hands of the Beloved.
ALL: Be glad and rejoice, all you who walk along the path to truth!
And shout for joy all you upright of heart!
Sharing: All have the opportunity to share their reflections on the experience of Guilt: Dying Freely-Living Fully
Wisdom Word:After all have shared, allow a word or phrase to capture the heart of the group’s sharing.
Circle Prayer:Bring to your circle the people, the places and the circumstances for which you wish to pray.
Closing Prayer:adapted from “Your Sorrow is my Sorrow”, Joyce Rupp p. 107
Unwavering Love, when I am going through troubled times, help me attend to my own spirit.
I need to believe that my heartaches are also worthy of a compassionate gaze.
Teach me how to offer kindness to the part of me that hurts.
With your grace I can overcome any obstacles that keep me from being attentive to my own needs.
Remembering your great love for me, I turn toward myself with understanding
and reach out with tenderness as I lovingly embrace my hurting self. AMEN.