Social Style and Management

SOCIALSTYLES

From Robert Bolton and Dorothy Grover Bolton, Social Style/Management Style

adapted by Bill Searle2011

According to David W. Merrill, Ph.D., and Roger H. Reid, M.A., “We all say and do things as a result of certain habit patterns, and people make predictions about us because they come to expect us to behave in a particular way—the fact is that even though each of us is unique, we tend to act in fairly consistent, describable ways. All of us use habits that have worked well for us, habits that make us comfortable, and these habits become the social style that others can observe.”

The American population is evenly divided among the four social styles: driver, analytic, amiable, and expressive. Each person has a dominant social style, and that style influences the way he works. People will tend to seek out social situations that reinforce their behavior and avoid situations that cause discomfort.

You have taken an assessment that identifies your primary social style(s). Incidentally, some people score very strongly in one area, and fairly low in others. That person’s social style seems very clear. Others may have two or more scores that are close, indicating that they may have characteristics of two (or more) social styles. Let’s get your information in here.

Highest score ______Social Style: ______

Second highest score: ______Social Style: ______

Third highest score:______Social Style: ______

Fourth highest score:______Social Style: ______

Are your top scores so close that you believe you are a mix of two, or more, social styles? Write down your primary social style (or styles)

Is it apparent from your scores that there is a social style (or styles) that you definitely do not favor because it (they) are so much lower than your other score(s)?

Let’s look at the characteristics of the different social styles.

CHARACTERISTICSOFTHEFOURSTYLES

Analytical

They live life with consistency according to facts, principles and logic. They often seem to be cool and independent, lacking enthusiasm. They tend to be cautious about extending friendship or showing personal warmth and, initially, will be more concerned with how things get done without need for personal involvement. They seem to act slowly and use time in a deliberate and disciplined manner. They focus on the past to give them direction for the future and prefer to work on a predictable schedule. They look for solid, tangible, practical evidence to support the validity of their decisions. They also require assurance that their decisions will be valid for the future. They appear to be overly concerned with details and organization. /

Driver

They know what they want, where they are going, and are more oriented toward getting results than pleasing people. They base their decisions on facts and data, will take risks, and prefer to be given options from which they can choose.
They are “tell oriented” and voice may sound forceful without speaking loudly. They often speak rapidly. They are fact oriented and do not need feelings or opinions from others. They prefer brief reading material, prefer working alone or directing others. Conversations tend to be brief and even abrupt. They prefer to make their own decisions. They seek power and do not like to be told what to do. They are decisive, pragmatic, and efficient.

Amiable

They place a high priority on friendships, cooperative behavior, and being accepted by others. They like to achieve objectives with people using understanding and mutual respect and will accept authority from another person, if the person is friendly and understanding. Talking and socializing is sometimes more important than getting on with the work at hand. They tend to use personal opinions in arriving at decisions and want guarantees of minimal risk; therefore, they frequently stay with the comfortable and known and especially avoid risks that involve personal relationships. /

Expressive

Usually full of energy, they have quick gestures, speaking more rapidly and louder than others. They make decisions quickly, express opinions strongly, and dislike routine. They appear to have more imagination and creative ideas than other people. They are undisciplined in the use of time. They are people and feeling oriented and rely on the opinions of others whom they consider important or successful for decision making rather than facts. They wear colorful and sometimes flamboyant clothes and are playful and fun-loving. They are outgoing, enthusiastic, persuasive and spontaneous.

People are like thermostats; they are constantly seeking to reach a state of equilibrium or comfort. As soon as another person enters the picture, tension is produced, and each one must reestablish his balance and comfort zone. The challenge for each of us is to determine the proper amount of tension and stress that will provide the proper balance. What might this look like in practice? For example, assume someone is a fairly strong Amiable; how might that person react when faced with a group of people who are mainly Drivers?

Could you do the same type of assessment for each of the four social styles, when faced with people from other styles in a group situation? Go ahead and try it.

Now, assume that you are someone with a style opposite your own (for example, if you are an Expressive, assume the person is an Analytic, or if you are an Amiable, assume the other person is a Driver). Further assume that this person does not like you. How will they describe your traits (hint: think of words with a negative connotation for the traits that characterize your social style).

Your social style: Opposite social style:

After you have done your own social style, do this exercise with another social style.

Social Style: Opposite social style:

Now, please turn the page and see if the chart that follows aids in your understanding.

Shorthand Description of the Basic Social Styles

HOW OTHERSHOW THEY VIEW

VIEW THEMTHEMSELVES

DRIVING:

PushyDetermined

CONTROLSevereRequiring

Tough-mindedThorough

SPECIALISTDominatingDecisive

HarshEfficient

EXPRESSIVE:

ManipulativePersonable

SOCIALExcitableStimulating

UndisciplinedEnthusiastic

SPECIALISTReactingDramatic

PromotionalGregarious

AMIABLE:

ConformingSupportive

SUPPORTRetiringRespectful

IngratiatingWilling

SPECIALISTDependentDependable

EmotionalAgreeable

ANALYTICAL:

CriticalIndustrious

TECHNICALIndecisivePersistent

StuffySerious

SPECIALISTExactingVigilant

MoralisticOrderly

Can you see how these different perceptions arise? What starts out as a positive trait, especially to the person who has the trait or someone who likes her/him can easily turn into a negative trait for someone else. What can you do about this? How can you weigh the odds that someone will either not perceive your social style traits in a negative way?

Another way to adjust for possible negative reactions is to consciously model behaviors that are not typical of someone with your primary social style (just remember, if you are not analytic at all, when you think you are being analytic you may be only mildly analytic to someone strong in those traits – we fool ourselves!). What might you specifically do to lessen some of your primary traits?

Now, what is important in our jobs is the ability to communicate effectively with everyone we work with, not just a few people. Effective communication depends upon our ability to talk in ways that others can hear us clearly, without the perceptual filters that sometimes get put up. Looking at your social style, how might you communicate with someone whose social style is opposite yours? When you are done this section, turn the page and see if the charts add to your understanding.

GUIDELINES FOR COMMUNICATING WITH AMIABLES / GUIDELINES FOR COMMUNICATING WITH ANALYTICALS

Communicate

…..at the outset, your concern and interest in them as a person, find areas of common involvement; be candid and open.
…..patience and interest in their personal goals and how you will work with time to help achieve these goals; listen, be responsive.
…..in a soft, nonthreatening manner.
…..by asking questions that draw their opinions.
…..in a casual, informal manner.
…..clearly, preferably in writing, their individual contributions to the desired end result.
…..assurances that their decision will minimize risks; provide them with benefits.
…..personal assurances, clear, specific solutions with maximum guarantees.
…..as a friend.
…..warmly.
…..that the process is important.
…..openly /

Avoid

…..rushing into “what we are meeting about,” but do not lose sight of goals by being too personal.
…..pressuring them to respond quickly to your objectives; don’t say “Here’s how I see it.”
…..being domineering or demanding, and reduce your position power.
…..forcing agreement because they will probably not risk the discomfort of confrontation.
…..patronizing or demeaning them by using subtlety or invective.
…..being abrupt and rapid.
…..being vague; minimizing options and probabilities.
…..offering assurances and guarantees you cannot fulfill.
…..deciding for them or they will lose initiative; do not leave them without backup support, as important, prominent.
…..asking for a quick decision. /

Communicate

…..that you have studied the situation in advance, where possible.
…..in a straightforward, direct manner, stick to the problem at hand.
…..your support of their principles; establish your credibility by enumerating the positives and negatives to any suggestions you make.
…..your appreciation for a schedule.
…..that you want them to have time to consider your plan before proceeding; be accurate, realistic.
…..solid, tangible, practical evidence of previous successful problems you have solved.
…..your intention to be available for future work with them.
…..your understanding of their desire to be thorough.
…..using data in a logical fashion.
…..by sending information in advance. /

Avoid

…..being disorganized or messy.
…..being casual, informal, loud.
…..rushing the decision-making process.
…..being vague about what is expected of either of you; don’t fail to follow through.
…..using testimonies of others or unreliable sources.
…..using someone’s opinion as evidence of ability.
…..being clever or appearing manipulative.
…..pushing too hard or being unrealistic with deadlines.
…..being late.
…..making statements you cannot back up.
…..appealing to emotions.
…..asking them to take leaps of faith.
…..acting with too little information.
…..not know things they think you should know.
…..asking for a quick decision.
…..trying for extremely creative ideas.
GUIDELINES FOR COMMUNICATING WITH DRIVERS / GUIDELINES FOR COMMUNICATING WITH EXPRESSIVES

Communicate

…..clear, specific, brief, and to the point information in a business-like manner.
…..all requirements, objectives; have available all support material in well organized package.
…..logical, efficient problem-related information.
…..when possible, facts and figures regarding the probability of success or effectiveness of options.
…..after having done your “homework.”
…..in a direct manner.
…..briefly – stick to the point.
…..concern and interest in their opinions and conclusions.
…..by focusing directly on the subject of the conversation.
…..your confidence in both yourself and in their abilities and skills. /

Avoid

…..rambling conversations and/or non-essential information; i.e., don’t waste their time.
…..trying to build personal relations.
…..disorganized presentation of facts.
…..open-ended issues or asking rhetorical questions.
…..appearing to have made the decision for them; i.e., autocratic advice or opinion.
…..extending the conversation with folksy chatter.
…..being perceived as slow.
…..rules and regulations, “this is the way we do things.”
…..pushing them where they clearly do not want to go.
…..indecision, unless you are asking them to decide.
…..asking questions that are too open-ended. /

Communicate

…..interaction that supports their dreams and intentions.
…..that you have planned time for relating, socializing.
…..your intent to formalize the details of the problem in a written report if necessary.
…..with questions that draw out their opinions/ideas.
…..with information, opinions, ideas, and questions from people they see as important, prominent.
…..energetically.
…..with interest.
…..expansively, and in a way that allows them to respond in the same manner.
…..your interest in creative or innovative ideas.
…..involvement.
…..big picture concerns, ideas, problems.
…..using metaphors and verbal pictures. /

Avoid

…..being perceived as curt, cold, or autocratic.
…..leaving decisions hanging in the air.
…..impersonal, judgmental, task- oriented behavior when possible.
…..“dreaming” with them or you will lose time.
….talking down to them or being dogmatic.
…..using too much data or focusing only on data.
…..dwelling on details, or demanding that they handle all details.
…..being unresponsive to them.
…..trying to please them at all costs.
…..pushing too hard.
…..cutting them off.
…..seeming not to care about them.
…..being routine and boring.
…..being slow.

Social Styles Summary

ANALYTICAL

/

AMIABLE

/

DRIVER

/

EXPRESSIVE

PRIMARY ASSET / Systematic / Supportive / Controlling / Energizing
BACK-UP BEHAVIOR / Avoiding / Acquiescing / Autocratic / Attacking
FOR GROWTH, NEEDS TO / Decide / Initiate / Listen / Check
MEASURE OF
PERSONAL VALUE / Respect / Approval / Power / Recognition
NEEDS CLIMATE THAT / Describes / Process / Responds / Collaborates
LET THEM SAVE / Face / Relationships / Time / Effort
MAKE EFFORT TO BE / Accurate / Cooperative / Efficient / Interesting
SUPPORT THEIR / Principles and Thinking / Relationships and Feelings / Conclusions and Actions / Visions and Intuitions
STRESS BENEFITS THEIR ANSWER / HOW problem is solved / WHY solution is best / WHAT solution will do / WHO else has used
FOR DECISIONS GIVE THEM / Evidence and Service / Assurances and Guarantees / Options and Probabilities / Testimony and Incentives
FOLLOW-UP WITH / Service / Support / Results / Attention

How about taking another look at what you think your social style is? To fill out the two scales below, examine each pair of words (“dominant” and “easy-going” for example). Decide which most describes you, although it might not be completely accurate. Place a check next to that word. When you are done the ten pairs, total only the column above the line (for the Assertiveness Index, total only check marks in the column that starts with “dominant,” for example).

STYLE HYPOTHESIS

Assertiveness Index

dominant / easy-going / HYPOTHESIS WORKSHEET
take charge / go along
assertive / hesitant
challenging / accepting /

ANALYTICAL

/ CONTROL / DRIVING
active / thoughtful / 10
confronting / supporting / 9
talkative / quiet / 8
bold / retiring / 7
intense / relaxed / 6
forceful / subtle / ASK 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 TELL
4
Total this column and
transpose to horizontal
line / 3
2
1
0

Responsiveness Index

/

AMIABLE

/ EMOTE /

EXPRESSIVE

informal / formal
spontaneous / disciplined
responsive / self-
controlled
impulsive / methodical
close / distant
feeling / thinking
people-
oriented / task-
oriented
outgoing / reserved
dramatic / matter-of-
fact
warm / cool
Total this column and
transpose to
vertical line

So, how did you score yourself? Are you more dominant or easy-going? Do you try to convince others, or are you more oriented to ‘letting the data do the talking’? Can you see how someone with a preference for one approach will differ in the way she approaches social situations from someone with another style?

How about people whose dominant style is opposite someone else? Can you imagine a partner in running and ISW whose style is exactly opposite yours (an Analytic paired with an Expressive, or a Driver paired with an Amiable)? What might the challenges be?

How about the types of questions that an Analytic may ask, versus an Expressive?

What about the different meanings a Driver will ascribe to a word, versus an Amiable?

Are two of your scores close? That is, did you perhaps score as a Driver-Analytic or an Expressive-Driver? If so, can you outline a combination of traits that seem to fit you?

In the same situation as above, what might the traits be of someone very unlike you (that is, if you were a Driver-Analytic, what might someone who was an Amiable-Expressive be like)?

How about creating a chart that emphasizes the two continua that distinguish a person’s social style?

Remember that the vertical axis is a continuum from control at the top to emote at the bottom, while the horizontal axis is a continuum from ask to tell. Draw the diagram and identify some words that you now associate with ‘control’ and ‘emote’, then move on to ‘ask’ and ‘tell’. When you are done, turn the page for some additional information.

The Four Social Styles

less communicative

cool, independent, results oriented

disciplined about time, reserved

uses facts, self-controlled

CONTROL

ASK TELL

slow actionsfast actions

avoids risktakes risks

cooperativecompetitive

supportive assertive