SOCIAL ISOLATION AMONG THE ELDERLY | shadia kasozi
SOCIAL ISOLATION AMONG THE ELDERLY
SHADIA KASOZI
PROF. TEDDY CHACOS
SEMINAR 126G
12/12/13
Social isolation is the act in which a given member of society has little to no contact with the society in which he/she resides, or with its people.Various studies have shown that as we age, social isolation increases.When this happens—when an older person is isolated—he/she is likely to get depressed, eat poorly, feel lonely, be less involved in activities, experience an increase in fear, and so on. Therefore, society should pay more attention to the elders and correct the littleseemingly harmless things like, placing high importance on beauty and youthfulness, grown up children moving out of their parent’s houses, sending parents off to nursing homes, not including the elderly in fun public social activities, viewing old age as a disease, and many more; because as undeniable as it is that elders sometimes isolate themselves, isolation among the elderly is,to the most part, society’s doing.
Primarily, society’s overall view of the elders has played a huge role in their isolation. As times have changed, society has stopped viewing an old person as a friend and the bearer of knowledge and wisdom, but instead as a sick, helpless, useless, disturbing, uglyhuman being. Old age is viewed as a disease. Sharon Curtin, a former nurse and now a writer, thoroughly displays the views and attitudes people have towards growing old in her essay “Aging in the Land of Young”. For example, she writes: “…I’m afraid of growing old—we’re all afraid. In fact, the fear of growing old is so great that every aged person is an insult and threat to society…” (Page 3). Here, Curtin suggests that people are afraid of being old, and as a result, they have started viewing old age as something that’s offensive and scary. When brought up in a society where people compare old age to ugliness, helplessness, and pain, one will very likely grow up fearing to be old, and fearing to associate themselves with the old. Consequently, he/she will separate him/herself from the old as much as he/she can, and eventually, hate themselves when they age. As a result, people might isolate themselves, because they are scared of what others might think of them, or isolate others because of what they think of them.
Also, because of the negative views towards aging, people, younger people, will end up ignoring the old and therefore isolating them. Very rarely will you find a young person engaging an elder in conversation because they are ashamed of being seen with them. Katherine Barrett, a contributing editor at Financial World, and recipient of numerous awards, wrote an article,Old Before Her Time, about a lady, Patty Moore, who transformed herself into an eighty-five-year old woman to experience firsthand the problems, joys and frustrations of the elderly. In this article, Moore attended a gerontology conferencethat was filled with young people talking about the elderly,but during this conference, Moore was ignored. They neither included her in their conversations nor offered to bring her coffee as they did the young women. She had almost similar incidents in stores were the clerk ignored her and served her last. “…it was as if he assumed that I—the older woman—could wait because I didn’t have anything better to do.” Moore recounted. This experience she had is something the elders in our society face every day. Some People tend to think the elderly are useless and that they can’t possibly have better things to do at that age. They are undermined, and therefore ignored. And because of this, the elders are made to feel like victims, just like Moore felt in her experiment, or even targets, swiftly turning them away from society and creating a world in which they don’t fit.
In addition, the high importance that has been placed on beauty by the media, as a branch of society, is one of the main reasons why the elderly have been forced into isolation. While growing up, people watch Television, see magazines, read novels, and watch ads that use beauty as their focal point. That declare beauty the most powerful asset to hold, especially for women. In all these media channels, especially magazines and ads, a beautiful person is depicted to be the one who gets everything. And almost always, this “beautiful person” is never an elder, and beauty pageants are never elderly inclusive. Which psychologically collates beauty with youthfulness, making someone who is older feel less beautiful and therefore less confident to mingle in society. Even worse, there are ads for facial wrinkle-erasing creams that not only represent unattainable beauty, but also suggest that having wrinkles is not good. Just Like the children, aged people can also be self-cautious; and even though not as vulnerable, their self-image can be destroyed when exposed to ads that tell them they are not good enough. This instigates a fear of growing old in the young, and poor self-image in the old. Society should encourage people to embrace the fact that people age. Everyone ages at a certain point in time, and when they do, if they do, there has to be a change. One can’t stay young forever—an elder doesn’t have to look like a young person. Instead, society has done, and is doing the opposite.
Similarly, the culture of children growing up and moving out of their parents’ house leaves the parents lonely, and with no social connection, especially if all the children have gone and their old friends have passed away. Not having a person to talk to or an old friend to have coffee with is one of the reasons why the elderly feel isolated and lonely. Society has made it seem compulsory for children to move out of their parents houses when they reach a certain age. Very often, the news, magazines and talk shows talk about a college graduate living in his/her parent’s home as a taboo making parents themselves, too, to sometimes feel like it is improper to have their grownup children staying at home or for the parents to move in with the children.And being parents, they might be feeling sorry for the children, thinking they (the parents) are being a burden. For example, in an intensive interview-based research conducted byNamkee G. Choi, a gerontology professor at the University of Texas, Aging & Mental Health, an 85 year old woman who chose to go into the nursing homes explained her reason for that choice by saying: “…I needed quite a bit of help. I could have moved in with my children if I wanted to. But I don’t think people should live with family. It’s too much stress and strain on everybody...” The societal norm and cultural belief made this woman isolate herself from the place she grew up from and away from all the familiar things and people. The lesson here is; yes, we have cultures, and yes, it is important to have cultural beliefs and norms in order to shape identity and morals, but are some of these cultures so important that we are willing to let our elders lock themselves up lonely and away from the world just so they do the right thing. Just because the elder happily packs to go to the nursing home doesn’t mean he/she is going to be fine.
On the contrary, though, there are factors that leads to isolation among elders that are not caused by the society, however, they are problems that, if society did something about them, isolation would seem impossible. For example, physical and medical limitations. That is to say, an elder who is deaf, blind, or has difficulty walking, might have trouble associating with people hence limiting his/her social connection.An elder who can’t walk or see might find it hard to get out of the house or go shopping; activities that could connect him/her to the world, and probably get him/her new friends. this could also prevent him/her from being able to get food hence preventing them from eating properly; one who can’t hear might have trouble communicating with people both in person and on phone, leaving him/her out of touch with the society and with no one to talk if society doesn’t make an effort to be there for him/her. To conquer this, therefore, members of society can put in an extra effort to socialize with the elderly, make an effort to ask if they are ok, also, try and communicate with them even if communication is difficult. Family members should spare time for the elders of the family and either take them for a walk or go with them shopping. Contributing to bettering medical facilities that provide medical help to the elderly would also be a way to help.
Secondly, the issue of people dying off. The fact that the elderly have been forced to socialize with only the elderly leaves most aged people having only old friends that will soon pass on due to old age or various diseases that come with old age. When these friends start dying on by one, it leaves the survivors fearing death, friendless, lonely, sad, and depressed. Therefore, society should stop doing things that separate the elderly from the young. That is to say; different sits on the bus, elderly living villages, different marathons, and other fun activities, and so on, for these plant the idea that the old should, and can only associate with the old, and the young with the young leaving the elderly with very few options for friends.
In most cases, old people isolate themselves because society has not accepted them. Because they don’t feel like they belong. And sometimes, it is because they do not appreciate the society’s views of who they are or what they are capable of doing. Usually, some people might thinkthat the elders can’t dothingslikewalkon theirown, cook food, andtake proper care of themselves, and as such, they fully strip them of their freedom in the pretext of helping or looking out for them. This does not always make elders happy because, to them, they showed us everything we know and they have lived longer than we have, and therefore, have more experience than we do. Plus, they are adults, not children, so they don’t appreciate being treated as such. With that said, the society at large should find a way to keep the elders safe without making them feel like strangers in their own country, city, and home
They are not all that different from the rest of the world; the older people are human beings too and are affected by every decision society makes. Therefore, society should pay more attention to the elderly in order to make them feel part of the community, and should stop pushing them away into isolation. We should let them be and accept them as human beings being, not just old people, for they have a lot to offer and a lot they can do.
Works Cited
Barrett, Katherine. "Old Before Her Time." The Ladies' Home Journal (1983): 101-07. Abstract. (n.d.): n. pag. Print.
Choi, Namkee G., Sandy Ransom, and Richard J. Wyllie. "Depression In Older Nursing Home Residents: The Influence Of Nursing Home Environmental Stressors, Coping, And Acceptance Of Group And Individual Therapy." Aging & Mental Health 12.5 (2008): 536-547. Academic Search Complete. Web. 15 Dec. 2013.
Curtin, Sharon. "Aging in the Land of the Young." (n.d.): n. pag. Print.