Snow White and the Seven Disco Dwarfs
Play Chic – “Le Freak”. Cast dance on. – Track 1
Introduction – Narrator 1 M1
Ladies and gentlemen, lads and lasses, welcome to the Westfield, class of 2013, year 6 summer show! Applause / bow
Please note the fire exit to my right.
Narrator 2 M2Please ensure your mobiles are switched off or on silent, especially i-phones as they interfere with our digital sound system. This is particularly important if you have a ring tone that mirrors the sound of the walkie-talkies at Robinwood, because for the class of 2013 that noise can mean only one thing….. squirrels, and upon hearing it year 6 are programmed to respond in one way, and one way only, which would be really annoying for the whole of the next hour. You just watch; Mrs Moss, cue ring tone
Kim plays signal and both sides stand up and make squirrel sign - Track 2
See what I mean?
Narrator 3 M3The script writer would like to point out that the script is based on an old Disney, 20th century children’s cartoon classic, but it has been adapted to appeal to a 21st century adult audience, so some of the material may cause offence to those of a very sensitive disposition. If you think that might be you, and you forgot to bring your sense of humour with you this evening, now’s your last chance to escape.
Narrator 4 M4Themost risqué gag of the night was so dodgy, Mrs Ralph did a bit of market research and ran it by Amy’s mum, andMrs Knight thought it was okay, so if you’ve got any complaints, please direct them to Mrs Knight in the first instance.
Isn’t home-school partnership a wonderful thing? All sigh
Narrator 1 M1We really hope that you enjoy the show! Bow
Music Maestro! Play “Dancing Queen”, the queen dances on - Track 3
Act 1, Scene 1 – The Queen and the Mirror
QueenM5: Slave in the Magic Mirror, come from the farthest space,
I summon thee speak, let me see thy face…
Play Michael Jackson – “Man in the Mirror”, MJ impersonation, moonwalk etcTrack 4
Mirror enters
Mirror M6: Alright love? D’ya want me for owt?
QueenM5: I most certainly do! Clears throat
Slave in the Magic Mirror, come from the farthest space,
I summon thee speak, let me see thy face…
MirrorM6: Ooh I’m sorry love, I might have passed the new year 6 spelling and grammar test, but I’mstill a Yorkshire man. If you’re goin to want any sense out of me tha’ll have to speak inplain English.
QueenM5: How dare you! Have you any idea who you’re speaking to?
MirrorM6: Not really love, who are you?
Side right “who are ya?” side left “who are ya?”
QueenM5: I’m the queen of the Kingdom of Westfield, Snow White’s wicked step mother, and in act 2, be warned, I’ll turn into the wicked witch. haha cackling laugh. Boo hiss sides.In fact, my character’s transformation is so remarkable, you might think I’m being played by a completely different child (winks to audience)
MirrorM6: Ooh yeah, I’ve heard all about you! I first heard about you from parents in Chappy right back in 2009. Having a right go they were. Oh yeah, I’ve marked your card love. You’re that wicked witch of Westfield aren’t you, the one that stopped school discos!! Boo, hiss.
QueenM5: I think you’re confusing me with the headteacher at Westfield, but as far as I know, she thinks there’s a time and place for all things, but in school teaching and learning and raising standardsmust come first. Up here for thinking, down there for dancing she says, but now that our year 6 have got their fantastic SATs results under their belts, I don’t think she’s got a problem with them disco dancing, in fact she’s written the whole script around seventies disco classics, so on with the show! All cheer, whistle, applause
MirrorM6: Well in that case love, in answer to your question I have to say, I’m sure in your hey-day you were chuffin gorgeous, but the most beautiful babe in the kingdom of Westfield today,has lips as red as the rose, hair as black as ebony, skin as white as snow, and they call her Snow White!
QueenM5: No!!!!!!!!!! nonono echoes crowd
Baldrick, Blackadder… I mean Mirror, I have a cunning plan. Send for the huntsman.
Ha ha cackling laugh. Boo hiss sides
Cymbals clash
Act 1, scene 2 – Snow White / disco divas and the Handsome Prince
Play Tramps – “Burn Baby Burn, Disco Inferno”Track 5
Snow White enters with disco divas.
Disco diva 1M1: Weren’t the Olympics fantastic girls, and Yorkshirereally did the country proud. My heroine is Jess Ennis.
Disco diva 7M8: I loved Nicola Adams; fancy being the first British woman ever to win gold in your sport?
Disco diva 6M9: Oh come on girls, this is cycling City York. You’ve gotta love Lizzie Armistead, a fine Otley girl
Disco diva 1M1: Ooh it’s Gods own country is Yorkshire! Do you realise if Yorkshire’d been a country we’d have finished 12th in the medal tables?
Disco diva 5M10: I know. Mr.McGann’sheroes the Brownlee brothers did well, but he’s a cycling fanatic too is Mr.McGann you know. He’s so excited about the Tour de France coming to York, he’s hoping to be a York gamesmaker. Imagine if he gets to meet Wiggo?
Disco diva 3M11: I thought Mr.McGann’s sideburns were getting longer…
Disco diva 2M12: I wonder when we’ll have our first weggieOlympian? The Fentiman brothers have got to be in with a shout for karate. Did you know Mikey was the youngest Yorkshire lad ever to get his black belt, and the third youngest in the whole country?
Snow WhiteM7: Yeah, but sometimes your sporting skills develop later than primary school, so we’ve all got the potential to win gold one day.
Disco diva 5M10: Yeah, that’s why we’re really lucky to be going to York High, as apart from being a brilliant school it’s also a specialist sports college, so we’ll get to try loads of new sports, and we might discover a future Olympian in the class of 2013.
Disco diva 2M12: Well if there’s a hint of sporting talent in any one of us,Mr. “legacy” Ellis will find it!
Disco diva 3M11: Yeah, have you seen Energise since it’s been done up? It’s mint. I can’t wait for September so we can get to York High
Snow WhiteM7: I’m a bit nervous about going to York High. I’ve loved Westfield, and I feel really safe here. I don’t want to leave
Disco diva 4M2: Don’t worry. We’ll soon find our way around York High and we’ll make loads of new friends
Snow WhiteM7: I’m perfectly happy with my old friends, and what if there are bullies there?
Disco diva 5M10: There won’t be, but don’t worry because the Children’s Champions will be there anyway. They go to York High every morning throughout September to help us settle in, so if you have a problem you can go and tell them just like you would here. They’ve got Children’s Champions at York High too. I don’t think they call them that, but that’s what they are. Mrs McLeod and Mrs Eland talk to them all the time so they can help us too, and our own Children’s Champions won’t leave us at York High until they’re sure we’re all settled and happy.
Disco Diva 1M1: I know, Mrs Ralph says they can stay til October half term, or even Christmas, for as long as it takestil we’re all happy
Disco Diva 3M11: Aah she says that every year, but it never does take that long. In fact they don’t always make it til the end of September, because once everyone is settled in there’s no point, and it usually only takes two or three weeks.
Disco Diva 5M10: What about Serena? Isn’t she going to Manor?
Disco Diva 4M2: That’s okay the Children’s Champions split up when that happens. Do you remember when Alex McKenna went to Manor last year? Mrs McLeod was walking down Becky Lane on her way to Manor when Mr. McKenna drove past her in his taxi!
Disco Diva 6 M9: Anyway Tom’s been going to Manor all year for maths with year 8, so he’ll look out for her, and so will Alex, and there’ll be other weggies there in September, Amy’s going and Emily.
Snow WhiteM7: I’m really going to miss Mrs Eland and Mrs McLeod.
Disco diva 7M8: Well York High’s only up the road, and they said we can always come back
Disco Diva 4M2: Yeah, I remember at Easter I was just leaving French club at about quarter past 4 when I saw three year 8weggieson their way down to the Children’s Champions’ room. They came in with a problem and Mrs Eland was straight on the case. She phoned one of their mums and Mrs James at York High and it was all sorted.
Disco Diva 2M12: Yes, Mrs Ralph is always telling us that the staff at Westfield really love the children here, and that’s not just whilst we’re here either. Once you’re aweggie they love you for life!
Disco Diva 7M8: Talking of love, can you see who I see?
Sides sing “Do you see what I see”
Disco Diva 7M8: It’s only the Handsome Prince! He looks as if he’s about to start strutting his stuff. Cue music Mrs Moss!
Play Bee Gees “Staying Alive”– the Handsome Prince struts around the hall. Mirror gives him a can of paint. - Track 6
Handsome PrinceM3: Alright girls. Hello Snow White. You look well reem. I wanted to talk to you about the year 6 prom, have you heard about it?
Snow WhiteM7: No, what’s that then?
Handsome PrinceM3: Georgia’s mum asked Mrs Ralph a couple of years ago if the school would organise a year 6 prom, and Mrs Ralph said they wouldn’t, but if the parents wanted to organise it all themselves, the school would pay £100 towards it. That meant the teachers were all off duty and could enjoy themselves too, and they didn’t have to clear up at the end of the night, so that’s what they did last summer.
Disco Diva 3M11: Sounds great!
Handsome PrinceM3: Yeah, I heard they all had a great night! Max’s mum organised it all and there was a magician and a photographer, and mocktails for all the children on arrival.
Disco Diva 2M12: I bet the teachers enjoyed themocktails.
Disco Diva 1M1: Ooh they did, Mrs Douglas’ husband works in the Audi garage at Clifton Moor, and on the Saturday morning after the prom all his customers were saying what a brilliant send-off Mrs Bentley and all the parents and staff had given the class of 2012. General opinion was that Westfield rocks!
Disco diva 7M8: I heard the staff Ofsted night out was fantastic too, and there was plenty of disco dancing that night from what I heard. By the time they moved on into town they bumped into the Chair of Governors in Lucias, and then he joined in the fun too.
Disco Diva 4M2: Well they deserved a great night, after struggling with Ofsted grades for about 15 years, and then finally achieving an Ofsted judgement of GOOD! All cheer
Disco Diva 5 M10: Anyway what did you want to say to Snow White about the year 6 prom?
Handsome PrinceM3: Well I wondered if she had anyone to go with? What do you reckon love. Are you dancing?
Snow WhiteM7: Are you asking
Handsome PrinceM3: Absochuffinlutely!
Yvonne Ellerman – “If I Can’t Have You”Track 7
Act 1, scene 3 – Snow White and The Huntsman / Serena and the Serenettes
Queen enters, sides boo hiss
HuntsmanM4: You called ma’am?
QueenM5: Yes lowly huntsman, I have a secret mission for you. Snow White is out with her friends in Acomb Wood. I told her to call into Lidl on her way home to pick up some shopping, so once she leaves the group I need you to track her down. They left hours ago, but there’s only ever one till open at Lidl so she’s probably still stuck in the queue.
HuntsmanM4: What shall I do when I find her?
QueenM5: I told her not to walk up Gale Lane under the street lights, but to go the long way home across Hob Moor
HuntsmanM4: But we’ve always told our weggies never to go onto the moor on their own in the dark.
QueenM5: I told her I would send you to walk her home, so she’ll be expecting you. I want you to kill her, and to prove you’ve done it, you must cut out her heart and bring it back to me hahaha cackling. Sides boo hiss
Huntsman / Snow White. Ring tone - Squirrel x 2Track 8 + 9
HuntsmanM4: I can’t do it! I’ve known you since you were in Cheeky Monkeys,I can’t bring myself to hurt you. You must run away and hide. Don’t go back to the palace; it isn’t safe
Snow WhiteM7: But where can I go? I’ll be homeless
HuntsmanM4: Don’t worry darl, Mrs Ralph was really worried that some weggies would be at risk of homelessness with all these changes to the benefits system, so she asked housing and the Citizens Advice Bureau to come and base themselves at Westfield. Make an appointment with Peter, it’s all confidential so he won’t tell the queen, or you can go and see Ashley at Sanderson Court, and between them they’ll help get you sorted
Serenettes / Serena enters
SerenaM6: (Stretches) HelloSerenettes, I’ve just been working out. Since I climbed that wall at Robinwood I can’t get enough of the climbing wall at energise. Hello Snow White, are you alright? You look really upset
Snow WhiteM7: I am upset, I’ve just been attacked! The Huntsman didn’t hurt me, but he threatened to and I was really frightened
Serenette 1M1: That’s terrible! Some of our weggies witnessed domestic violence you know. I knew someone who had counselling at our school for that
Serenette 2M4: So do I. There are two children’s counselling services at Westfield, and you know what, both of them say that it is never, ever alright for a man to hit a woman
Serenette 3M11: Too right!
Serenette 4M12: (Excitedly) Guess what!! In the year 6 summer show, there’s always a dance off between all the girls and all the boys. In Mamma Mia the boys did a Bollywood dance to Jay-Ho, and in Grease they did zumba, and although I don’t know what the boys are planning this year, I’ve got just the dancefor our year 6 girls! It’s the daddy of all disco classics. Come on girls, let’s show the lads our girl power!
Gloria Gaynor - “I Will Survive” girls’ dance - Track 10
Snow WhiteM7: Ooh I feel better already!
Serenette 3M11: Good, and you don’t need to be all sad and worried about homelessness after all Snow White, because we know about a special, fairy tale cottage where you can go and stay. To get there you have to find a secret, magical portal that leads to a very special bridge. It only appears when you are really loved, and it’s love that builds the bridge.
Sides: Love can build a bridge – Track 11
SerenaM6: No, no , no that’s not my song. It’s called a bridge of lightwinks to the audience. Come on serenettes, we’re on!
Pink – Bridge of Light
SerenaM6: Thank you, thank you.
Serenette 2M12: That was great Serena, well done you, but look Jane Angel’s crying again! Let’s get the disco beat back up-tempo whilst Snow White disappears through the bridge of light. Audience, our School Council got the eco award at Westfield, so we’ll need a bit of wind power to fuel the bridge of light. That means you’re clapping too… get ready to rock
Serenette 1 M1: And I think we’ll have a show of girl power from all the ladies in the room, so come on mums, nanas, aunties, teachers…. on your feet
Kool and the Gang – “Ladies Night”– girls dance off – Track 12
Act 2, scene 1 – The Disco Dwarfs
Track 13
Dig digdig / hi ho hi ho All dwarfs but Bashful enter, Bashful stays at the back of the hall. Sleepy goes to lie down, tosses and turns
SneezyM3: Sneezing / countingdwarfs on stageey up we’ve lost one. To bashful Aren’t you coming?
BashfulM8: I can’t go up onto the stage, I’m too bashful
DocM9: Oh don’t be so daft. I know they’re a paying audience, but they’re only friends and family. I don’t think they’ll be heckling, or booing us off or owt.
SleepyM10: I wouldn’t bank on it, we haven’t got to my line yet!
SneezyM3: Dopey, sneezing since you can’t speak in the show, you can have a few extra actions and make yourself useful. Can you get Bashful?
Dopey starts looking all shy and embarrassed
SneezyM3: No I don’t mean you start getting bashful, I mean can you go and get that Bashful pointing
Dopey goes to get Bashful
HappyM11: I’d be very happy to go and get Bashful if it would help, or I’d be very happy to help Dopey get him. to audience Can you guess which one I am?
Grumpy:M12 Oh stop being so happy. Mrs Moss, are you taking photos of this and getting them onto the website now?
DocM9: Oh don’t be so grumpy and give her a chance. Does she look like she’s got her feet up doinnowtover there to you? to audience No problem guessing which one he is!