SEXUAL PURITY: the WHY and HOW Who Sets the Rules Who Is the Final Moral Authority?

SEXUAL PURITY:
THE WHY AND HOW
Who Sets The Rules…Who Is The Final Moral Authority?

Who decides if sex outside of marriage is right or wrong? Who decides what real marriage is? Who says you can only have one spouse? Who says homosexuality is unacceptable?

Who says pornography is bad? Who decides on issues like abortion?

Is it Oprah, Dr. Phil, movie or sitcom producers or writers, college professors, the government, church leaders or is it our peers.

For our purposes, we will accept God’s written Word as the final authority. We also
believe that God’s motivation is from the perspective of a deep parental love. We believe that He has a sincere desire for our lives to be successful and as pain free as possible. He
is not a vindictive or distant God who doesn’t want us to experience joy or fun. He loves
us and wants the best for us in relationships and life. His laws are for our protection.

Romans 13:2-3The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God
has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own bodyin a way that is holy and honorable,not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.

Why is purity a big deal in a church or singles ministry?

It reflects God’s holiness.

God has called and commanded His people to purity.

1 Thessalonians 4:3It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should
avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body
in a way that is holy and honorable…

It provides a safe Christian environment.
People come to church expecting a safe community and authentic Christians.

1Thessalonians 4:4-8… not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister.The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.

It models purity to the watching world.

As Christian single adults, we are called to be a bright light in a dark world. We must do relationships in a God honoring manner or sacrifice any impact we might have.
1 Peter 2:9-10But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation,
God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you
out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you
are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received
mercy.

It models purity to our own church and single Christian friends.

A Christian leader’s role is to model purity and assist others in their spiritual growth by understanding and embracing purity.

Matthew 5:16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

2 Timothy 2:22-26Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

Spiritual Reasons For Waiting For Marriage

It protects our Christian walk.

2 Peter 2:18-19Forthey mouth empty, boastful words and, by appealing to the lustful desires of the flesh, they entice people who are just escaping from those who live in error. 19 They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity—for people are slaves to whatever has mastered them.

It prevents us from being a negative influence on others, Christians or even pre-Christians.

Mark 9:42If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them if a large millstone were hung around their neck and they were thrown into the sea.

It provides God’s blessing.
Proverbs 4:23Above all else, guard your heart,for everything you do flows from it.
It presents God’s character and plan.
God wants us to be set apart.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor.
Our motive for purity… “Christ in me”
1 Corinthians 6:19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;
God wants to help us succeed and be pure.
1 Corinthians 10:13No temptationhas overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be temptedbeyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
When we are pure, we please God.
Romans 12:1Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.
The authority calling for purity… God Himself!
1 Thessalonians 4:3-8If one rejects purity, he will be rejecting “the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit. 8Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.
It protects us from God’s discipline.
Marriage is one of God’s highest valued covenants.
Hebrews 13:4Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
God isn’t away on vacation.
Numbers 32:23But if you fail to do this, you will be sinning against the

LORD; and you may be sure that your sin will find you out.

Straight Talk About Sex – How Far Is Too Far?

Christianity is about LIVING, not about RULES.John 10:10The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Jesus is concerned about your HEART.
Matthew 5:28You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
The question “How far is too far?” anticipates failure.
A better question is: “How can I HONOR GOD with my physical relationships?”
1 Thessalonians 4:3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified [made holy]: that you should avoid sexual immorality [fornication, adultery and others]; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no
one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him.

James Dobson presents 12 stages of intimacy in “Life on the Edge”:
1. Eye to Body
2. Eye to Eye
3. Voice to voice
4. Hand to Hand
5. Hand to Shoulder
6. Hand to Waist
7. Face to Face
8. Hand to Head
9. Hand to Above the Waist
10. Hand to Below the Waist
11. Mutual Masturbation
12. Sexual Intercourse

God has designed a natural and physiological force within us which draws us toward sexual intercourse. The devil has twisted this force and uses it for evil by pushing us to
move through the scale as quickly as possible.

Analogies:

1. A slippery slope which is fairly level at the top but gets steeper and steeper the further down you go. With the scale the further down the more likely you will end up in sexual intercourse.

2. A magnet’s power is stronger the closer you get to it. The closer you get to sexual intercourse, the stronger will be its pull on you and your partner. And the harder it will be to resist it.

Boundaries For Dating:

- Don’t LIE DOWN on dates.
- Keep your hands TO YOURSELF.
- Be accountable to and honest with someone who knows you
- Keep your CLOTHES on
- GO SLOW “Time is your ally”
- Don’t spend A LOT OF TIME ALONE with the opposite sex
- Treat them as your sister – or your brother!

What If I’ve Gone Too Far?

1. Confess it and REPENT! Sexual sin is not an unforgivable sin.
1 John 1:9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. God will forgive us if we have sinned sexually.

2. It is never too late to start living a PURE LIFE.
1 Corinthians 6:9-11 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
3. There may be SCARS.
When Satan throws guilt your way, remember you’re forgiven, in
God’s eyes you are no longer guilty, remind yourself of this truth. Spend large amounts of time in God’s Word. It will have a cleansing effect on your soul.
Psalm 103:12….as far as the east is from the west,so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Sexuality In Scripture

Proverbs 5:17-23Proverbs 5:17-23

Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed,and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love. Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man’s wife?Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman? For your ways are in full view of the LORD,and he examines all your paths. The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them;the cords of their sins hold them fast. For lack of discipline they will die,led astray by their own great folly.

Matthew 5:27-28Matthew 5:27-30

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Romans 1:26-27Romans 1:26-27

Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.
Romans 6:12 Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires.

1 Corinthians 6:15-201 Corinthians 6:9-20

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, The two will become one flesh. But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

Galatians 5:16-21So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whateveryou want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Galatians 5:16-21

Ephesians 4:19-24Ephesians 4:19-24

Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed. That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

Ephesians 5:3-5Ephesians 5:3-5

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.

Hebrews 13:4Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
1 Peter 1:13-16Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; as obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: but as he which hath called is holy; so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; because it is written, be ye holy; for I am holy.

Revelation 21:8But the cowardly, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all liars—they will be consigned to the fiery lake of burning sulfur. This is the second death.Hebrews 13:4

Revelation 21:8