Sampleessays-Justkidding!

HittingtheJackpotwithaPersuasivePersonalStatement

KrystaDiehl,BeverleyChildress,RuthBinghamNACADA20150LasVegas,NV

SampleEssays-JustKidding!

1

"Ifeltfortunatetoawakenfrommyweeks-longlife-threateningcomaintheZimbabweorphanageinwhichIwasraisedfrom infancy,untilIrealizedthebuildingwasablaze.Afterevacuatingalltheinhabitantsincludinganystrayinsectswhoweredrawntotheflames,Idousedthefirewithawaterpump Ihadimprovisedfromanoldaccordionbellows(onwhichIoftenplayedBachfuguesalaAlbertSchweitzer)andabamboo-likeplantIhaddiscoveredinthejungle.InamedtheplantMedusaAbandonaaftermynowforgivenAmericanbornmother,whoforsookmeinmycradle,onlyafteritturnedouttobeanunknowngenusand promisedto

haveexcitinganti-cancermedicinalqualitiesaswell.WhenIwasconvincedthateveryoneintheorphanagewassafe,IescapedtheholocaustinthesolarpoweredwheelchairIhaddevelopedtogivemyselfmoremobilityaftertheunfortunateaccidentIhadasachild,breakingmy

seventhvertebrawhilewrestlingalionthathadterrorizedthevillage."

TheUltimateAMCASEssaybyDanielGuttman

2

"'Eightypercentofsuccess isshowingup.'IfeelthisattitudecorrectlydemonstratesmypassionforLiteraturewhere,indeed,you on;lyhaveto'turnup'andreadthebooksntofulyunderstandthetopic. Iwasformcaptaininyear7,indicatingmysenseofresponsibvility.Ienjoyedthechallengeofmydutieswhichincludedfetchingtheregisterandmakingpeoplesignupforsportsdays.AlsothisyearIwasvotedheadgirlbecauseImadethemosthilarious

speechever.Thisdemonstratesmyastonihsingski;Iatcreativeandpersuavivewriting.MyfavouritebookisTwilightbecauseofthedeep plotandthree-dimensionalcharacters.Ifeelthattheseriesreallyhassomeverynewtosayaboutsocietyandthecurrentglobaleconomy,eventhoughmany children whoreadthebookwillnotunderstandthisthisdoeswidenthetarget audienceadmirably.Ifeelmypassionforthisserieswillreallyhelpmefor expendingoxbridghewhereiwillhavetohavepassionfor allsortsofthingsandpeople.Forafterall,ispassionnotanimportnatpartof university?"

HittingtheJackpotwithaPersuasivePersonalStatement

KrystaDiehl,BeverleyChildress,RuthBinghamNACADA20150LasVegas,NV

ProvidingFeedbackonPersonalStatements

StepI.ProvideFeedbackAbout:

WhatyoulearnedaboutthestudentfromreadingthePS.Whatquestionsremainedunansweredafteryoureadit.

Whetheryoufoundtheoverallargument(toadmit him/her)compelling.

StepII.TypicalQuestionsaPSShouldAnswer (comparetotheprompt):Thebasicthree:

WhatdoestheAdmissionsCommitteewanttoknowaboutyou?WhatdoyouwanttheAdmissionsCommitteetoknowaboutyou?

WhatdoestheAdmissionsCommitteeshould/needtoknowaboutyoutoadmit you?

Whyhaveyouchosenthisfield?Whathasbroughtyoutothispoint?

Whatareyourgoals?Whatwillyoudowiththisdegree?Whatisyourexperiencewithand/orknowledgeofthisfield?Whyareyouapplyingtothisschool?

Arethereanysignificantobstaclesyouhaveovercome?

IsthereanythingyouwouldliketoexplaintotheAdmissionsCommittee?DoesthisPSaccuratelyreflectyourskills(writing,argument,etc.)?

StepIll.EditingAreastoDiscuss:

1--Voice/style forintendedaudienceeffect 2--Structurelogicalflow

3--Languageflowtransitions 4--lntroduction

5--Body

•Whatisthebasic theme?

•Whatarethegoals/prioritiesofthePSweretheymet?

•Isthebalanceoftheweightgivendifferenttopics appropriate?6--Evidenceforclaims

7--Closing

8-Proofreading(fordiscussiononly):

•Grammar

•Punctuation

•Typos

9--Lengthdensityofinformation

FinalTip:WritingaPersonalStatementisalearningprocess:Explain/teachasneeded,togivestudentswaystoachievetheresultstheywant.Bottomline:theessayshouldreflectaccuratelytheirstyle,theirstageofdevelopment/learning, andwhotheyareasaperson.

HittingtheJackpotwithaPersuasivePersonalStatement

KrystaDiehl,BeverleyChildress,RuthBinghamNACADA20150LasVegas,NV

Sample EssayPrompts

.... UHMGraduateDivision:Inthespaceprovidedbelow,describethe objectivesofyourgraduatestudy,yourareaofspecializationwithinthegraduateprogram, andyourlong-rangeprofessionalgoals.

Includeanyadditionalinformationthatwillassistthegraduateadmissionscommitteeinevaluatingyour application.

.... HarvardBusinessSchool:It'sthefirstdayofclassatHBS.YouareinAldrichHallmeetingyour'section.'Thisisthegroupof90classmateswhowillbecomeyour closecompanionsinthefirst-yearMBA classroom.Oursignaturecasemethodparticipant-basedlearningmodelensuresthatyouwillgettoknoweachotherverywell.Thebondsyoucollectivelycreatethroughoutthis sharedexperiencewill belasting.Introduceyourself.Thereisnowordlimitforthisquestion.

..,. WilliamS.RichardsonSchoolofLaw:Composeapersonalstatementonasubjectofyourchoice. Manyapplicantswriteabouttheirgoals,achievements,influences,andtheirinterestinourlawschool.

.... AMCAS(Allopathic Medicine):Explain whyyouwant togotomedicalschool.Somequestionsyoumaywanttoconsider:

.... Whyhaveyouselectedthefieldofmedicine?

.... Whatmotivatesyoutolearn moreaboutmedicine?

..,. Whatdoyouwantmedicalschoolstoknowaboutyouthathasn'tbeen disclosedinanother sectionoftheapplication?

....PTCAS(PhysicalTherapy)-Describeyourdecisionmakingprocessinchoosingphysicaltherapyasacareerchoiceversusotherhealthcarecareers.

....PharmCAS(Pharmacy)-YourpersonalessayshouldaddresswhyyouselectedpharmacyasacareerandhowtheDoctorofPharmacydegreerelatestoyourimmediateandlong-termprofessionalgoals.Describehowyourpersonal,educational,andprofessionalbackgroundwillhelpyouachieveyourgoals.

.... UHMMEPNProgram(Nursing)-Inyourgoalstatement,pleaseaddressthefollowing:

•Whatyoubelieveyourpreviousacademicandlifeexperiencewillbringto:

a)Thenursingprofession

b)Thespecialtyyouhavechosentoapplyfor

•Relevantpersonalqualitiesandexperiences thathave shapedyourbeliefs

•Yourimmediateandlong-termgoalsuponcompletionoftheprogram

.... UHMPublicHealthGraduateProgram:Includeinyourpersonalstatementthe following:

(1)Yourprofessionalinterestsintheselectedarea ofspecialization(i.e.,epidemiology,healthpolicyandmanagement,orsocialandbehavioralhealthsciences),

(2)thepublichealthrelevanceofyourpastandpresentacademicIemploymentbackgroundand

itsapplicabilitytoyourcareergoals,

(3)yourreasonsforseekingenrollmentattheUniversityofHawai'ipublichealthprogram,and

(4)yourfuturecareerplans.