Remarks re Adaptation 1
The purpose of Adaptation 1 was to give you practice with screenplay format and thinking like a screenwriter.
1) Proper format is critical in screenwriting. You must use a 12 point Courier, Courier New, or Courier Final Draft font. No exceptions. Scene Headings must be in the correct place. You must start and end dialogue correctly, etc.
Why? Because the people who would read your screenplay use the following rule of thumb—one page of screenplay equals one minute of screen time. If you use some other font or align your screenplay differently or whatever, then that rule no longer applies.
Practically speaking, if you don’t use the proper format, agents and producers will simply throw your screenplay in the trash without bothering to read it.
2) Screenwriting is about taking advantage of opportunities for drama. So what are the major opportunities in “Masks”?
—the difference in appearance between Kathy and Tiffy
—the kindergarten painting scene
—Kathy with Friends in jr. High re dating and her hair
—The library Scene
3) So here’s a look at a possible adaptation. There is no one correct adaptation. There are many ways to adapt “Masks”; some more effective than others. Let’s start with an opening scene.
Scroll down to the next page and review my comments regarding the following sample Adaptation.
FADE IN:
INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY – DAY
STUDENTS fill the hallway, talking and laughing in pairs and groups.
TIFFANY walks slowly toward here locker, alone.
KATHY, in her cheerleading uniform, is surrounded by a cluster of students. She has the complete attention of everyone listening to her.
TIFFANY (V.O.)
(looking at Kathy)
In high school, it’s all about image.
There are the popular kids, the dorks,
the loners. Once you are put in a
category, you stay there. The perfect,
beautiful people at my school have
been like that as long as I can
remember.
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. KINDERGARTEN CLASSROOM – DAY (TEN YEARS EARLIER)
A few comments about this opening:
1) This opening was written by Hilary Griffith, a former student of mine. There are a number of reasons why I like Hilary’s opening.
· One, it shows that you don’t have to write a screenplay in chronological order. As you can see here, she starts in the present; however, the next scene is a flashback to the Kindergarten classroom scene ten years earlier.
· Two, this looks like a screenplay. Notice the white space on the page. Notice how the paragraphs are short. Each time you shift attention to another character or from setting to a character or to a different action, you start a new paragraph. Also, note that she correctly capitalized the characters the first time they were introduced in direction. Dialogue, personal direction, the name of the character speaking, and the scene transition are all aligned correctly
· Three, the voiceover is very effective. Voiceovers are tricky. For one thing, you have to make sure that you know what we are seeing on camera as the voiceover is being delivered. In this case, it’s clear that it would be the various categories of students—popular kids, dorks, jocks, loners—and, of course, Kathy. So be careful when you write a voiceover to make sure there’s something to see while the voice is being heard. After all, a voiceover means we’re hearing the voice over something we’re seeing. And finally, the last line in the voiceover is a wonderful transition to the flashback. I should also note that voiceovers are typically used more in television—think Malcolm in the Middle—than feature films. In fact, many screenwriting gurus will advise you to avoid them.
· Also note how Hilary used the DISSOLVE TO: scene transition to prepare us for a flashback. Think back to the movies you’ve seen. Usually, a dissolve to indicates a significant passage of time or perhaps the beginning of a dream sequence.
Next scene
INT. KINDERGARTEN CLASSROOM – DAY (TEN YEARS EARLIER)
The classroom is decorated with bright colors and pictures. There is a sign that says “Miss Pierece’s 1st Grade” on the wall.
KINDERGARTNERS are painting on easels all around the classroom.
MISS PIERCE walks around, looking at her students’ paintings.
YOUNGER KATHY, dressed in a pink dress with impeccable white tights, and shiny black shoes with her hair in pigtails with matching pink bows, painter at an easel next to YOUNGER TIFFANY.
Tiffany’s clothing, in contrast, are mismatched and her red sock shows through a hole in her tennis shoe.
MISS PIERCE
Don’t forget you’re going to be
taking these home to your parents,
so do your best.
Miss Pierce approaches Kathy and Tiffany.
Kathy’s painting shows the perfect nuclear family—father, mother, brother, and sister—with everyone smiling in front of big house.
Tiffany’s painting shows a mother, brother and sister, in front of an apartment building.
MISS PIERCE
(smiling warmly at Kathy)
That’s lovely, Kathy! What a
beautiful painting. I’m sure your
parents will be very proud.
Miss Pierce turns to examine Tiffany’s painting.
Just then as Tiffany is painting the blue sky, the blue paint runs down the page across her mother’s face.
MISS PIERCE
(more matter-of-factly)
That’s very . . . interesting, Tiffany.
Perhaps, next time you shouldn’t use so
much paint so it won’t streak.
EXT. PLAYGROUND – DAY
A few comments about this scene.
· Notice how the description of setting here delivers some exposition—we know it’s Miss Pierce’s classroom.
· Again, this looks like a screenplay. Note the paragraph breaks and why.
· Most screenplays I see tend to rush through this scene. Notice how the screenwriter takes her time to develop the scene. Movies, naturally, are visual. This scene with the paintings, obviously, has certain visual potential. Ask yourself, did you get as much out of this scene. Note, how easy the screenwriter has made it for you to visualize this scene. Don’t fall into the “I’ll let the director do that” fallacy. Your job is to create the movie so that the director has no choice but to film it in the way you’ve described.
· Here the paintings tell us everything we need to know about Tiffany’s family vs. Kathy’s.
· Note that there is no scene transition here, which means it is an assumed CUT TO: It used to be that there were scene transitions between each scene. But today, screenwriters typically omit simple CUT TO’s in order to save space in their screenplay. Unlike students, who are often trying to stretch their work to reach a certain page minimum for an assignment, screenwriters are usually trying to save as much room as possible by eliminating what isn’t absolutely necessary.
· The next scene on the playground is still ten years earlier. Otherwise the scene heading would have noted that we have changed times. For instance, if the next scene were back in high school. It might look like this.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL CLASSROOM – DAY (PRESENT)
Other Potential Scenes
In writing this screenplay, you would probably want to include other scenes such as the following:
a) the scene where Tiffany tries to dress like Kathy, but is unable to pull it off
b) the monkey bars scene
c) the scene with Kathy in middle school discussing with her friends who to date and her hairdo. This scene, in particular, would give you a chance to use dialogue to reveal character. After all, there’s only one reason a girl tells her friends that her hair looks bad. So they will disagree and say how good it looks. (This bit of dialogue illustrates how Kathy is dependent upon how she looks in her friends’ eyes.)
The Climactic Scene:
The big scene in this screenplay is, of course, the library scene. It is here where Tiffany finally realizes that maybe she is really better off than Kathy after all.
INT. HIGH SCHOOL LIBRARY – DAY
Tiffany is sitting alone at table for four working on her homework.
Kathy enters, in her cheerleading, outfit.
A BOY at the next table nudges his FRIEND, and points to Kathy.
BOY
God, she’s beautiful.
Smiling, Kathy looks around the room at the various tables where students are studying. It’s obvious she is looking for someone.
Kathy’s smile fades as she scans the room once more, her glance finally coming to rest on Tiffany.
Tiffany sees Kathy’s gaze and smiles hopefully at her.
KATHY
Mind if I sit with you?
TIFFANY
(thrilled)
Sure. . . I mean, no problem.
Kathy sets down her book bag and glances around the room again.
TIFFANY
So who is the varsity playing tonight?
Kathy looks past Tiffany toward the front door as she replies.
KATHY
Great Falls Central. Be there to
support the team.
TIFFANY
I will. . .
There’s a BEAT of awkward silence. Then Kathy spots Tiffany’s homework on the table.
KATHY
So how’s the algebra homework today?
TIFFANY
Not too bad.
KATHY
I hate math. It’s too hard.
Tiffany seizes upon the opportunity.
TIFFANY
I’m pretty good at algebra. You
need some help?
KATHY
No, John always does my assignments
for me.
TIFFANY
Oh. . .
Tiffany looks over at Kathy, but her gaze is on the front door where SHELLY has just arrived.
Kathy grabs her book bag, rises to her feet, and abandons Tiffany, without a word, to join Shelly.
Comments:
· Okay, in this scene it is critical that the dialogue between the two girls is somewhat awkward.
· After all, these girls only have two things they can possibly talk about: the game because Kathy is a cheerleader and homework because they share the same algebra class. Anything beyond this and they’re in trouble. The dialogue is also complicated by the fact that Tiffany would like to get Kathy to like her. Note how nervous she is when Kathy asks if she can sit with her. And note how she eagerly seizes upon the chance to help Kathy with her algebra.
· We should also have the sense that Kathy is constantly scanning the front of the library to see if someone higher up on the high school food chain enters so she can leave Tiffany.
· What this scene shows is that Kathy is dependent upon her entourage. Without them, she has no identity of her own. Kathy can’t sit by herself. She needs others to reflect her glory.
· Nor can she fend for herself—John has to do her homework for her. Ultimately, this scene changes the way Tiffany looks at Kathy and at herself.
· In the following scene, the denouement or falling action, we might have Tiffany verbalize this with a voiceover. And certainly, we would show how she is invisible to Kathy again the next day.
I hope this has helped you get a better idea of some of the considerations you must take into account when writing a screenplay. And again, there is no right answer here. There are several ways you could effectively adapt this material.
Final Thought:
If you are going to be a screenwriter, write this on a post-it note wherever you
Work: Movies are about telling stories with pictures NOT words.
That doesn’t mean words aren’t important. But screenplays are not novels or short stories. A screenplay requires a different approach. Getting your idea across with pictures is to be preferred over getting it across with words. This is sometimes a difficult concept for fiction writers and poets to embrace (and it doesn’t mean that the words in a screenplay shouldn’t be held to the same literary standard). But the sooner you embrace this concept, the sooner you will make progress as a screenwriter.