Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother Will Be Remembered Today - As She Has Been During The

INTRODUCTION and WELCOME

We are glad you’ve come today, and we hope this memorial event will be helpful to you. Through readings, music, silence, and a simple act of remembrance, we will give time to our remembering, and give thanks for those who have died. There is no right way to do this, no rule book to follow. But what follows will give you an opportunity, as you are and how you feel, to do your own remembering in your own way.

THE RIGHTNESS OF GRIEVING

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,

Prevent the dogs from barking with a juicy bone,

Silence the pianos and with muffled drum

Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead

Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,

Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,

Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,

My working week and my Sunday rest,

My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;

I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one;

Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;

Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;

For nothing now can ever come to any good.

(W.H.Auden)

BEGINNING TO MOVE FORWARD

Deep sobs - that start beneath my heart

and hold my body in a grip that hurts.

The lump that swells inside my throat

brings pain that tries to choke.

Then tears course down my cheeks -

I drop my head in my so empty hands,

abandoning myself to deep dark grief,

and hope that with the passing time will come relief -

that though the pain may stay there soon will come a day

when I can say their name and be at peace.

(A poem - quoted by Sheila Hancock)

IT’S GOOD TO SHARE AND TO REMEMBER

You bereaved are not alone. You belong to the largest company in the world, the company of those who have known suffering. When it seems that your sorrow is too great to be borne, think of the great family of the heavy-hearted into which your grief has given you entrance and, inevitably, you will feel about you their arms, their sympathy, their understanding. (Helen Keller)

If I should die and leave you here a while,

Be not like others, sore undone, who keep

Long vigils by the silent dust, and weep.

For my sake, turn again to life and smile,

Nerving thy heart and trembling hand to do

Something to comfort weaker hearts than thine.

Complete those dear unfinished tasks of mine,

And I perchance may therein comfort you.

(A. Price Hughes)

There are places I’ll remember all my life, though some have changed,

Some forever, not for better, some have gone and some remain.

All these places have their moments,

with lovers and friends I still can recall;

Some are dead and some are living - in my life I’ve loved them all.

But of all these friends and lovers, there is no one compares with you,

And these memories lose their meaning when I think of love

as something new.

Though I know I’ll never lose affection for people

and things that went before,

I know I’ll often stop and think about them - in my life I love you more.

Though I know I’ll never lose affection

for people and things that went before,

I know I’ll often stop and think about them – in my life I love you more.

In my life I love you more.

(Lenon and McCartney)

I had thought that your death was a waste and a destruction,

a pain of grief hardly to be endured.

I am only beginning to learn that your life

was a gift and a growing and a loving left with me.

The desperation of death destroyed the existence of love.

But the fact of death cannot destroy what has been given.

I am learning to look at your life again

instead of your death and your departing.

(Marjorie Pizer)

Sometimes I need strength – because the next step seems so hard.

Give me the purpose to go on when I feel so weary with trying.

Sometimes I lack patience – when progress feels so slow.

Give me what’s needed for the future even when it’s hard to contemplate.

Sometimes I’ve got no courage – when problems are all I see ahead.

Give me the will to go on and believe that an easier path

may be just around the corner.

Sometimes I don’t have enough insight –

to trust the promise that it will come right.

Give me the wisdom to know that those who love and care

will not abandon me when times are hard.

Sometimes I need faith – when I do not know what I believe.

Give me the openness to see something in the mystery to keep me going.

Sometimes my sense of purpose fails me –

and even fellow travellers don’t seem to understand.

Give me new trust in their companionship so I can keep going a bit more.

Sometime hope seems to have abandoned me –

the hope I needed to keep on going and know it won’t be in vain.

Give me hope when I feel hopeless so I don’t feel overwhelmed any more.

Sometimes I’ve got too much time -

and I don’t know whether to remember and be sad

or remember and be thankful.

Give me the right time with my memories,

and with those memories to grieve, and with those memories to smile.

(Tom Gordon)

LOOKING TO THE FUTURE

Look to this day! For it is life, the very life of life. In its brief course lie all the truths and realities of your existence: the bliss of growth, the glory of action, the splendour of beauty. For yesterday is already a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision, but today, well-lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, to this day! Such is the salutation of the dawn. (A Sanskrit reflection)

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The Music used today is detailed on the separate sheet. Those taking part today are members of our Bereavement Support Team. You are invited to stay for a cup of tea, and there are people to talk to afterwards. To help us with our evaluation of this memorial event and our planning for the next one - which is on Sunday 21st September at 2.30 - you may wish to fill in the short evaluation sheet which is available as you leave. If you don’t want to complete it now, send it to us later. Phone calls and letters later on are also fine.

A TIME

OF REMEMBRANCE

A memorial event

held in the

Marie Curie Hospice, Edinburgh

on

11th May 2008