Planning Your Church Wedding

PLANNING YOUR CHURCH WEDDING

Congratulations on your forthcoming marriage.

This is an exciting time and we wish you all happiness and joy as you plan your wedding and prepare for your life together.

The following information will help you as you plan your Church Wedding.

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Questions to Ask.

Can we marry inthe church at Upper Dicker or Hellingly?

Generally speaking any couples not previously married and now living in the Church parish can marry in the church.

You can check whether you live in the parish by visiting “A church Near you” website and entering your postcode. …

The church parish boundary differs from the council parish, so please check your Church parish on the website.

I don’t live in the Church parish what can I do?

If you do not live within the parish it is more complicated. In this instance an appropriate connection either has to be shown or made. If there is some historic connection then it may be what is called a ‘Qualifying Connection’. A special application will have to be completed along with your marriage booking form.

A qualifying connection is evidenced in one of three ways.

1) If you :

were baptised in the parish (this does not apply where the baptism formed part of a combined service of baptism or confirmation); or,

had your confirmation entered in a church register book of a church or chapel in the parish; or,

have had at any time your usual place of residence in the Church parish for at least six months; or

had at any time habitually attended public worship in the parish for at least six months;



2) If one of your parents

had his or her usual place of residence in the Church parish for at least six months; or

habitually attended public worship in the parish for at least six months;

3)If a parent or grandparent was married in the Church parish.

You must be able to provide us with the paperwork to show you have a qualifying connection before we can confirm that your wedding can go ahead.

We don’t live in the parish and we don’t have a qualifying connection, but we really want to marry in your church – what can we do?

You may be able to marry here if you can make a commitment which would lead to you joining the church membership and completing a church electoral roll form.

For this you would make a commitment to attend worship with us regularly for at least nine months prior to your wedding. We would deem regularly to be once a month.

We would book and process your application for marriage during this six month period, but your Wedding Banns cannot be read until you have been placedon the electoral roll. As Banns are called in the three month period before the wedding you would need to start attending regularly at least nine months before you wish to marry.

Can we marry in church – one/both of us has/have been married before?

It is possible. If you have been previously married there are special rules made by the diocese which have to be followed which may or may not mean that you can marry in church. If not, it may be possible to arrange a service of prayers and dedication after a civil marriage. Please contact the Rev. David Farey to discuss this.

What are Wedding Banns?

On three successive Sundays, two to three months before your wedding date, the wedding Banns are called to give notice and to ask if anyone knows a legal reason why you should not be married.

Where one or both of you do not live in the parish, Banns will also have to be called in your parish/es. When called (for which a fee is payable) a certificate is produced after the third reading and that certificate must be brought to your wedding rehearsal, if not before.

Proof of identity

When the Minister taking your marriage service meets you, he will need to see and make copies of proof of your identity and address. The checks have to be done face to face and the Minister has the legal responsibility to confirm this has been done.

For identity this can be your original birth certificate, your passport or driving licence. For address verification this can be a utility bill issued within the last 3 months, bank statement or driving licence (if not used as proof of your identity). There are other options too, so if these aren’t available we can give you a full list of options.

Where one or both of you are a foreign national there are special regulations and details can be provided on request.

How much does a church wedding cost?

A guide to what you might pay. Fees payable at Hellingly church (2018)

Marriage service, including Banns£474

Banns only, including certificate £43

Church Fee£65 (*1)

Heating (October - April)£40

Organ\Piano£90 (*2)

Choir£95

Bells£90

(*1)This fee covers the verger who will assist on the day to set up the church for your service, welcome your guests, support the Minister and clear away at the end and the sound technician who will ensure that the minister and your service can be heard from any location and arrange for any recorded music to be played.

(*2)Extra costs if unusual music or video requested.

(The service fee for a Blessing would be £240)

The fees are reviewed annually at the end of the year and the church administrator will send you the revised fees for your wedding year when these are agreed. Any yearly increase is usually minimal.

In addition to the above you will need to consider the cost of flowers and order of service books that you may require.

How we do book our wedding with you?

We are open at Hellingly church from 6pm – 7pm every Friday evening, except during the Christmas and New Year period, where you can book and meet us.

We will complete a booking form with you, check that the date and time you want for your wedding is available and make sure you have any additional forms that may be required to be completed.

If you are unable to make a Friday evening, you can come along to the Sunday service at 10.45 and someone will be able to speak to you. Whilst the initial request can be made by telephone or email, we do require the booking to be done in person to make sure we have all understood what needs to be done.

What Dates and Time can I book?

Most weddings are booked for a Saturday, but we can arrange weekday weddings when the church is not in use for scheduled services and events.

We often have more than one wedding on a Saturday – particularly in the Summer months - and we allow 2 hours between each marriage service, therefore the wedding times tend to be booked for11am, 1pm and 3pm.

The marriage service duration is usually 45 minutes and the 2 hour slot gives time for you and your guests to share together and take photographs after the wedding.

We will let you know if there is more than one wedding planned for your chosen date as time-keeping is essential to ensure that all weddings can run smoothly. You may also want to talk to the other couples about the sharing the costs of flowers for your weddings.

What happens then?

Usually when you book with us your wedding is a number of months away. Your booking details are passed to our church administrator who will contact you from time to time to check how your plans are going and follow-up on the information needed to manage your service.

On a rolling 9-month cycle we book a Minister to conduct your wedding service. As our Vicar is not able to cover all weddings, he is supported by four retired clergy. Once this is done, we will let you know who will be taking your service and they will contact you and meet you to help and guide you through the formalities of the marriage service.

The diagramat the end of this booklet summarises the steps to your Wedding Day.

Helping you Prepare.

It is important that you are as ready as possible to embark upon the great adventure of marriage. We will require you to undergo some preparation sessions and more information about these will be available as your application is processed. Together we will help your day to run as smoothly, as stress free and as happily as possible. –

Our administrator will keep in contact with you to ensure you have the information you need and answer any questions and concerns you may have. You will be told of the dates for your Banns to be read and it is good if you can be there a) to remind the Minister to call the Banns, b) to ensure they are read correctly (interrupt if there is a factual error) and c) to be there if anyone should object.

Your Minister will meet you a number ofmonths before your wedding to confirm the legal and practical details and arrange rehearsal times and also to talk to you about the importance of marriage and the implications of the vows you will be making together.

Every year in February we invite all couples who have a wedding booked with us that year to attend our “Loving for Life” course. This is a valuable and informal event to help you prepare for your life together and give you the opportunity to meet those who will be supporting your marriage service – the Minister, organist and flower-arranger. It is held on the first Saturday in February from 10am – 3pm (lunch included) and you will receive an invite in December – but mark the date in your diary now so you’re prepared.

If you are unable to attend before your wedding please do ask to be booked on the following year’s course. It will still be relevant and helpful.

Some Practical Considerations – that we’ll remind you of as we plan your service

Rehearsal – a rehearsal will be arranged at the church for some time shortly before the wedding. The rehearsal is normally attended by the couple, the best man, the bride’s father and any bridesmaids.

Others are welcome at the rehearsal to give moral support.

Orders of Service –Your Minister can provide outline order of services for your wedding and any order of service should be reviewed with the Minister and agreed before printing. Do start thinking about the music and readings you would like. Please provide a copy of the orders of service for the Minister, Church team and Choir. – a total of 10 will be fine.

Music– consider what music you would like at your service – for coming in and going out, for hymns/songs during the service and during the signing of the registers. There may be a requirement to get a special licence for music and we can advise you on this.

Recorded music can be supplied to us either recorded onto a USB memory stick or on a CD. In the case of CDs they must be properly finalised if you are recording your own CD. We cannot support music played from mobile phones, ipods and ipads or other such devices.

Organ\Piano – We have a grand piano which can be used instead of the organ, if you prefer. We can arrange for an organist/pianist for you and this cost is included within the fee for use of the organ/piano. The fee for the use of the organ/piano is payable even if you arrange your own organist/pianist.

In the event of special music needing to be obtained, or a rehearsal with any other musicians or singers an extra negotiable fee is likely.

Flowers – Our flower team provide displays in the church – except in Advent and Lent.

There is a pedestal display at the altar and by the lectern and a basket display on the tables as you enter the church.

We are aware that many couples plan flowers at the wedding venue and that you may be happy to manage with the standard church flowers and your own bridal bouquet and button holes. However, we will be pleased to help with church flower requests:

all the church flowers coordinated with your wedding colour scheme for £70 – requires liaison with any other couples
an additional pedestal display by the pulpit and all the church flowers coordinated with your wedding colour scheme for £100
a floral display can be added to 9 pew ends in the church for £45 (£5 each pew end)
an archway display over the entrance door to the church can be provided for £150.

All flower arrangements are to be left in the church after your wedding.

Whatever you decide – to use the church flowers, to do your own, or to use an outside florist – all the arrangements for the displays, colours and access to the church must be agreed with us to ensure that arrangements can be properly managed, particularly when we have more than one wedding on a specific day.

Please contact Tess Gray, our church florist, to plan your flower arrangements for your wedding day, Tess Gray 01323 844268; email:

Photographs and videos – There should be no photography in the service itself as this is a distraction. Photos are permitted at the processions in and out and for the signing of the register. There should be no videos used unless there is an official one. A licence does have to be obtained for this which must be submitted to the Minister prior to the service. A licence can be obtained from the Mechanical Copyright Protection Society, Tel – 0208 378 7500; Email – . (Please note - In the event of a video being made the organist has the right to double their fee.)

Fee Payment – An invoice for your wedding will be raised 3 months before the wedding date and payment can be made by BACS transfer or cheque. Fees for flowers and order of services are not raised through the church.

Confetti – The church has no problem with the use of confetti, provided it is biodegradable. A bit of confetti in the churchyard is a sign that good things happen in the Church.

We look forward to welcoming you to our church and supporting you through your marriage preparations and your life ahead.

We have a family service on the fourth Sunday of every month at 10.45am Hellingly

Our normal Sunday services are at 9.15am at Upper Dicker and 10.45am at Hellingly.

If you have any queries or concerns email: (the office is open Tuesday through Friday)

or if you need to speak to someone in confidence then do please contact our Vicar, the Rev David Farey on 01323 440450, or e-mail

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