Opinion Essay
By:
Writing Scaffold Packet
Copyrighted for Lincoln Public Schools, 2010
Paragraph #1: INTRODUCTION
Attention GetterNutty Bars, Cosmic Brownies, Swiss Cake Rolls and Zebra Cakes. Rows and rows of brightly packaged cookies, cakes, and crackers insure there is a treat to tempt every taste.
Context orUnfortunately, this display is not located in the snack aisle of the grocery
Background info.store. It’s the snack line at your local school, and sad to say, the line for these sugary delights surpasses the regular lunch line.
Thesis statementIt’s clear that providing students access to unhealthy snacks
and preview mainduring lunchtime is a mistake because it sends the wrong
points/reasonsmessage, it has a harmful impact on student health, and it negatively affects student concentration and learning.
NOTE: Peer/teacher reviews to be completed after student writes his/her Introduction.
Complete the following peer review.
Attention getter: Does it make you want to find out more about the topic? Yes No
Context/background information: Does it explain why the topic is important to the author? Yes No
Thesis statement: Does it clearly tell the writer’s opinion on this topic? Yes No
Does it preview the main points? Draw a squiggly line around each of the main points and number them 1, 2, 3
Comments from peer reviewer about essay’s introduction:
Formative Feedback from Teacher on Introduction:
Minimal Evidence1 / Gaining Proficiency
2 / Proficient
3 / Exemplary
4
Introduction:
- Attention getter
- Context or background info.
- Thesis Statement
--Previews three main points/reasons of support / Creates incoherence by not including an attention getter and/or by not including background information and/or stating information which is inaccurate.
The thesis statement provides a topic and may include the writer’s opinion, but the preview of points is incomplete, irrelevant, or contains inaccuracies. / Uses a confusing or ineffective attention getter and background information is minimal, irrelevant, or confusing.
The thesis statement provides the writer’s opinion on a topic, but points/reasons previewed are mostly inadequate (repetitive, vague/unclear) or contain limited reasoning. / Uses an appropriate attention getter and provides some background information which connects to part of the thesis.
The thesis statement includes the topic and the writer’s opinion on the topic and previews three plausible points/reasons of support. / Uses an effective attention getter that smoothly transitions into relevant context or background information which sets up the thesis and engages the reader.
The thesis statement clearly designates the topic, states the writer’s opinion on the topic, and previews three strong points/reasons of support.
Teacher Descriptive Feedback on Introduction:
Name ______Period ______Date ______
Opinion Essay Scaffold
PARAGRAPH #1: INTRODUCTION
PARAGRAPH #2: BODY—FIRST MAJOR POINT/REASON
Topic Sentence First, having unhealthy snacks available at lunchtime sends
of first main point the wrong message.
Support =Students learn about good nutrition in health class. They are
evidence+explanation taught to check the labels for sugar, fat, and high calorie content so that they don't make unwise snacking choices. Yet, treats that contain high quantities
(e.g. details, facts,of these substances are available every day during lunch in the school
personal experiences,cafeteria. Like me, many students have “sweet tooths” and love to eat
examples, or quotessugary snacks. Most people will eat unhealthy snacks if they are easily
that make your pointavailable, and they are readily available in our lunchroom.
clear and convincing)Therefore, the lunchroom should provide students with a strong model of healthy, balanced meals to reinforce the healthy habits promoted in class. This tells students that what they learn in health class is not only accurate, but also important enough to be taken seriously. Instead, the availability of unhealthy snacks gives students the mixed message of "Do as I say, not as I do." This sends students the wrong message.
NOTE: Peer/teacher reviews to be completed after student writes his/her first body paragraph.
Complete the following peer review.
Copy the topic sentence that introduces the first main idea (point) of the essay.
List the evidence for this point/reason / Evidenceexplained?
1. / Yes / No
2. / Yes / No
3. / Yes / No
Formative Feedback from Teacher on First Body Paragraph:
Development of BodySupport:
- Evidence
- Explanation
- limited evidence
- explanation is missing, inaccurate, or a digression
- faulty logic and/or evidence is undeveloped
- limited explanation
- sufficient plausible evidence
- explanation to expand some support
- Convincingly specific, relevant evidence and
- explanation tells how evidence supports the writer’s position.
Teacher Descriptive Feedback on First Body Paragraph:
PARAGRAPH #2: FIRST MAJOR POINT/REASON
PARAGRAPH #3: BODY—SECOND MAJOR POINT/REASON
Topic Sentence Not only does having unhealthy snacks send the wrong message, it also
of 2nd main pointhas a harmful impact on students’ health. Regularly eating snacks full of fat and sugar can cause several health issues for students.
Support = First of all, these snacks provide very little nutritional value. They contain few if
evidence+explanation of the essential vitamins and minerals which the body needs to stay healthy. This
is particularly important as most adolescents are experiencing rapid periods of
(e.g. details, facts, growth during this time of their lives. Also, many students do not eat nutritious
personal experiences meals outside of schools. Because many parents work outside of the home, most
examples or quotesstudents are unsupervised afterschool and they typically eat salty or sugary treats
that make your pointas soon as they get home. Since many students are not eating healthy meals
clear and convincing)outside of school, it is even more important that the food offered at school is well- balanced and nutritious. Additionally, students who choose to eat high calorie snacks along with regular meals will eventually gain weight. As a result, we see a larger proportion of students who are overweight than has occurred in the past. This can lead to several health problems including high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and childhood diabetes.
NOTE: Peer/teacher reviews to be completed after student writes his/her second body paragraph.
Complete the following peer review.
Copy the topic sentence that transitions to the second main idea (point) of the essay.
List the evidence for this point/reason / Evidenceexplained?
1. / Yes / No
2. / Yes / No
3. / Yes / No
Formative Feedback from Teacher on Second Body Paragraph:
Development of BodySupport:
- Evidence
- Explanation
- limited evidence
- explanation is missing, inaccurate, or a digression
- faulty logic and/or evidence is undeveloped
- limited explanation
- sufficient plausible evidence
- explanation to expand some support
- Convincingly specific, relevant evidence and
- explanation tells how evidence supports the writer’s position.
Teacher Descriptive Feedback on Second Body Paragraph:
PARAGRAPH #3: SECOND MAJOR POINT/REASON
PARAGRAPH #4: BODY—THIRD MAJOR POINT/REASON
Topic Sentence Besides numerous health problems, regular consumption of
of 3rd main point unhealthy snacks can also affect students’ ability to pay attention and
learn.
Support =The large amounts of sugar and caffeine in many unhealthy snacks give
evidence+explanationstudents a sudden “rush” of energy, but within ashort time the effects of these substances wear off and the student is left feeling tired and
(e.g. details, facts,lethargic. Students cannot pay attention under these conditions. Therefore,
personal experiencestheir learning and grades will suffer. The lack of nutrition in these snacks
examples or quotesalso leaves students unsatisfied and they often get hungry again after only a
that make your pointcouple of hours. From my own experience, I cannot concentrate on my
clear and convincing)studies when my stomach is growling. The empty calories of these poor snacks really effects students’ learning and attention span.
NOTE: Peer/teacher reviews to be completed after student writes his/her third body paragraph.
Complete the following peer review.
Copy the topic sentence that transitions to the third main idea (point) of the essay.
List the evidence for this point/reason / Evidenceexplained?
1. / Yes / No
2. / Yes / No
3. / Yes / No
Formative Feedback from Teacher on Third Body Paragraph:
Development of BodySupport:
- Evidence
- Explanation
- limited evidence
- explanation is missing, inaccurate, or a digression
- faulty logic and/or evidence is undeveloped
- limited explanation
- sufficient plausible evidence
- explanation to expand some support
- Convincingly specific, relevant evidence and
- explanation tells how evidence supports the writer’s position.
Teacher Descriptive Feedback on Third Body Paragraph:
PARAGRAPH #4: THIRD MAJOR POINT/REASON
PARAGRAPH #5: CONCLUSION
Review of main points (same ideas in slightly different words & 1 sentence for each point) / It is obvious that offering unhealthy snacks in the school cafeteria has several negative effects. First of all, it provides a poor message and model since students are taught healthy eating habits in health class. Having unhealthy options also harms students’ physical health. Finally, consuming even a small amount of unhealthy foods decreases the students’ ability to pay attention and learn.Restate your thesis opinion / For these reasons, it is clear that unhealthy snack foods should be prohibited from the school cafeteria.
Tie back to attention getter and end with clincher / There may be a sweet treat to tempt every teen’s sweet tooth, but the school should not be the supplier. Schools are responsible for the students’ education and well-being throughout the school day, including time spent in the cafeteria at lunchtime.
Complete the following peer review.
Review the major points/reasons stated in the essay. List the 3 main points reviewed in the conclusion:
1.
2.
3.
The author’s opinion should be restated (not merely repeated word-for-word.) Does the concluding thesis statement restate the author’s opinion? YES NO
Copy the attention getter that ties to the introduction or the clincher statement which provides a powerful final thought/image.
Does the essay end and in a thoughtful, effective manner? YES NO
Formative Feedback from Teacher on Conclusion:
Conclusion- Review main points
- Restate author’s opinion on topic
- Clincher
Teacher Descriptive Feedback on Conclusion:
PARAGRAPH #5: CONCLUSION