From the Career Committee:

The following article was submitted by Victoria Pilate, a member of the SACSA Career Committee

The 411 on Networking

What makes the world go round? It’s not gravity or money. Its favors! Much that happens in life happens via networking and favors. That’s indisputable truth from successful business ventures to Hollywood careers.

Larry King was quick to point out after the death of Frank Sinatra that he got his first big break in business by networking and favors. A mutual acquaintance of King and Sinatra owed then-struggling King a favor. And he came through big when he offered to get Frank Sinatra on King’s show. As time for the interview approached, King had only his friend’s word that Sinatra would show but trusting his friend he advertised Sinatra’s appearance. King got increasingly nervous as the date for the interview approached and there was not a firm word from the Sinatra camp. A failure of Sinatra to appear would doom King’s career. Thirty minutes before broadcast time, Sinatra pulled up outside the studio in a limo. The rest is history.

Networking is one of those soft skills that don’t get taught in academic programs. It’s a skill that we learn as we progress in life and careers. It’s also one of the unofficial tools that can make or break a career. Those who master networking recognize a few unspoken rules.

Don’t Walk A Straight Line.

Americans typically will waste little time on small talk; we like to get to the point. Generally speaking, good ideas but we should recognize that a less than straight path is necessary to getting to Point B. If you want a personal favor or a favor to your organization, start off with an indirect approach of explaining the situation and asking for suggestions. People are more willing to work with others when they are first asked for advice or given a good reason to cooperate. When you go straight for asking for a favor, you have a better chance of getting shot down.

“Never come right out and ask for a favor. It’s a turnoff. The best way is to approach someone for their advice and suggestions.”

Andrea Nierenberg, author of Nonstop Networking: How to Improve Your Life, Luck and Career, in a Smart Money interview December 2002

Never Ask for More than One Favor at A Time

In a Town & Country piece (July 2006), author Dina Kaplan revealed some of her tense moments with favor seekers. In Kaplan’s piece, she related how an old acquaintance wanted not one but four tickets to an MTV awards program. She might have tried a few calls for one ticket but four was pushing her tolerance. If need multiple favors, choose the one that can best be answered by the other person. My buddy in food services can probably swing a discount for me on catering but can’t do much with decorating needs.

Be careful with the size of the favor. I had to organize a charitable pizza party to raise scholarship money. My incredible good fortune was that I had just met and hit it off with the owner of a local pizza parlor franchise. When I called to ask for help, his first question to me was “Are you asking for free pizzas?” His tone made it clear that he had gotten some greedy requests in the past and was leery of fielding another unreasonable request. I said no but asked—politely-- for a discount. He offered 50 percent.

If You Want Something You Must Give Something

It’s not all about you. Networking is a two way street. It’s not all about getting favors or information out of people. It’s about providing service to others and receiving service when needed. You should be prepared to give first before asking for a favor. In my work, I need the cooperation of university officials from provosts through secretaries. If my hand were constantly open seeking something rather than open to give. People would soon discount me.

Be prepared to give first. Some experts have suggested participating in professional organizations or volunteering for interoffice events. It’s not just attending a conference that is necessary here. It’s also helping with any volunteer committees that support the organization. It’s hard to forget the name or face of someone who stands in front of your group every day during an annual conference. People are more willing to help those who help others. So don’t be stingy with your time.

Never Give a Sucker an Even Break? Never Give a Stranger a Favor

We don’t live in a vacuum. Although much of our daily lives can involve solitary work, to be successful people must know you. And a natural extension of this thought is that people don’t often do favors for strangers. Avoid being strangers to others, especially if you know somewhere in the future you’ll need their cooperation.

I had had some contact with a private college three years ago. I worked with the office manager to schedule and finalize the details of a campus visit. I had left several phone messages for the director of the office that were not returned. At the last minute the campus visit was cancelled due to lack of response from the director. Instead of being frustrated with the college and that office, I kept in touch with the office manager, sending her information and free promotional items for her office. I also added her to a distribution list I have for scholarship and job information. About 18 months after the cancellation, I got a mysterious email from Jane Doe. With the amount of junk mail I get, I almost deleted it without reading it, but I did open it because the name sounded familiar. And, as it was, Jane Doe was the director of the office for which the college office manager worked. Jane Doe was emailing her resume to me asking me for job information for my area and if I could do her a favor by circulating her resume. I had never met Jane Doe nor ever had any contact with Jane Doe. Now, here she was asking me for a favor many months after canceling due to lack of communication.

“Networking has become highly goal-oriented. It’s been driven by people being out of work who’ve never been out of work before. Everybody says you’ve got to network, so they’re calling people they haven’t talked to in forever and it’s all me-me-me, ‘I need your help.’ It’s smarmy and sleazy and not much of a relationship.”

Bill Whitman

Fast Company interview, October 2004

Mind Your Manners.

Follow-up is an important step that’s often overlooked. Remember to say “Thanks” to anyone who helps along the way. The more personal the thank you the better. A handwritten note of appreciation is best but an email is acceptable for some situations. A text message is rarely acceptable and can offend some.

Another step with follow-up is to let people know how things turned out. If someone offers you some direction or advice, get back to him/her afterwards to pass on how everything went. Though often not verbalized, people like to hear how things worked out. If you’re trying to cultivate a mentor-mentee relationship, this kind of follow-up is essential to building a good foundation.

Networking is an often misused but essential skill of business. These are a few basic pointers to help get you started on good relations with business contacts.

Victoria Pilate is the owner of Crandell & Rose Publishing House and is the author of Dorm Rooms to Boardrooms. She is a graduate of FloridaA&MUniversity and the University of Maryland, BaltimoreCounty. She resides in Maryland. For more information on her or to read more career tips, please visit the website,