2013 Nativity – Stockethill Church (some, or a lot of this, may have been nicked from somewhere else but I can’t remember. I know I wrote at least a good bit of it, but if anyone recognises any of it, let me know I’ll give proper credit – )
SCENE 1
Narrator1: Good evening ladies and gentlemen
Narrator2: Boys and girls
Narrator1: Babies and angels
Narrator2: Kings and shepherds
Narrator1: Innkeepers and donkeys,
Narrator2: And thank you for choosing to be with us tonight
Narrator1: When you could have chosen to be somewhere else,
Narrator2: Doing something else
Narrator1: Wrapping the last minute presents
Narrator2: Buying the last minute presents!
Narrator1: Decorating your Christmas tree
Narrator2: Sweeping up pine needles from the Christmas tree
Narrator1: Preparing food
Narrator2: Eating!
Narrator1: Spending time with family
Narrator2: Avoiding family (come to think of it maybe that is why you are here!)
Narrator1: So, thank you for choosing to be with us tonight
Narrator2: Unless of course you were dragged here against your will, shoved in front of microphone and told to read this script or Santa wouldn’t be coming tonight!
Narrator1 : (Pause) Anyway……..let’s take a journey back in time and a long way away where a young woman sits quietly minding her own business.
Mary: (Screams) Aaaaaaaargh!
Narrator2:: Sits quietly until a hulking great angel appears before her.
Angel: Don’t be afraid Mary. You have been chosen by God to bear a child who will be called the Son of the Most High.
Narrator1: And though Mary was frightened and confused she chose to accept God’s will.
Mary: I am the Lord’s servant. Let everything you’ve said happen to me.
Narrator2:: Which is fine for Mary but not so much for her fiancé Joseph
Narrator1: When he heard that Mary was pregnant, he said,
Joseph: (cries out angrily) Aaaaaaaaargh! That’s it in the morning I’m finishing it with her. It’s over! (lies down and pulls a cover over him)
Narrator2:: But while he slept he too met an angel in his dreams
Angel: (comes on in a dream like way): Don’t be angry at Mary. This is God’s will. She is going to have a boy and you are to name him Jesus because he will save his people from their sins.
Narrator1: And in the morning Joseph’s choice was done
Narrator2:: His choice was Mary and her unborn son.
SCENE 2
Narrator1: So Mary and Joseph chose to live happily ever after in Nazareth.
Narrator2: Not quite! You’re not reckoning with the Romans
Narrator1: Why, what did they do?
Narrator2: Nothing, what have they ever done? Well… apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order... what have the Romans done for us?
Narrator1: No, I meant what did they do to Mary and Joseph?
Narrator2: Only made them trek all the way to Bethlehem to pay their taxes – no choice about it.
Narrator1: Not much choice for the donkey either.
Donkey: (painfully) Aaaaaaargh! I’m only a little donkey. Little donkey with a heavy load. Got to keep on plodding onwards on this dusty road (coughs violently)
Narrator1:: But when they reached Bethlehem, there was a choice of hotels.
(Mary & Joseph go to each innkeeper in turn knocking on the doors)
Innkeeper 1: Not here there isn’t mate, we’re full up!
Innkeeper 2: Even if there was room, I’m not taking a pregnant woman and a smelly old donkey
Narrator2:: They were fast running out of choices until at last someone had pity on them.
Innkeeper 3: We’re full to bursting point, but I can make some room in the stable.
Narrator1:: He could have chosen to send them away.
Narrator2:: But instead chose to give them a place to stay.
SCENE THREE – wise man 2 - Jamie
Narrator1: So Mary and Joseph chose to live happily ever after in Bethlehem.
Narrator2: Not quite! You’re not reckoning with the wise men.
Narrator1: What wise men?
Narrator2: Well a long time ago in a galaxy far far away a new star was born, and a long time later 3 wise men were hanging out being all wise and stuff.
Wise man one: (Looking through a telescope gives a cry of surprise) Aaaaaaaaargh! Quick hand me the charts.
Wise man two: (looks at his phone) The Christmas number one is….
Wise man three: Not those charts dummy, the star charts. (hands number one a tablet and they all gather round)
Narrator1: And as they looked at the charts they realised there was a new star in the sky.
Narrator2: Which meant they had to use all their wiseness to be very wise.
Wise man one: What does it mean?
Wise man two: That you’re a dummy and missed it out when you made the charts.
Wise man three: No, it’s a sign from God that a new King of the Jews has been born.
Wise man one & two: Ooooooh.
Narrator1: So now they had a choice to make.
Narrator2: Should they journey across the hot desert
Narrator1: on uncomfortable camels
Narrator2: facing danger
Narrator1: just to take some odd gifts to a baby…..Or
Narrator2: Should they stay at home
Narrator1: And stare at the sky
Narrator2: And play with their gadgets
Narrator1: And be all wise and kingly and stuff.
Narrator2: Of course they chose the wise thing
Narrator1: And took gold, myrrh and frankincense as gifts for the king.
SCENE 4
Narrator1: OK, so now do Mary and Joseph get to live happily ever after with their baby boy
Narrator2: Hold you’re horses big man, or should I say ‘hold your sheep’. You’re not reckoning with the Shepherds
Narrator1: What shepherds?
Narrator2: In the fields round Bethlehem some shepherds were bored.
Shepherd 1: I’m bored
Shepherd 2: Let’s play eye-spy. Eye spy with my little eye something beginning with A
Shepherd 1: Aaaaaaaaaaaaargh
Shepherd 2: No, not ‘aaaaaaaargh’
Shepherd 1: Angels!
Shepherd 2: No, not Angels either.
Shepherd 1: No! (pointing) Angels!
Shepherd 2: Aaaaaaargh
Angel 1: Don’t be afraid. We’ve got good news. A saviour has been born. He is Christ the Lord.
Angel 2: You’ll find him in Bethlehem lying in a manger.
Narrator2:: So guess what.
Narrator1: the Shepherds had a choice?
Narrator2:: That’s right. They could stay in the fields
Narrator1: Which is what they were paid to do
Narrator2: And watch over their sheep
Narrator1: Which is what they were supposed to do
Narrator2: And stay warm by the fire
Narrator1: Which what they wanted to do
Narrator2: And not take any risks
Narrator1: Which is what they always do….Or
Narrator2: They could go and see
Narrator1: If it was true
Narrator2: If he was real
Narrator1: If God had kept his promises
Narrator2: If Hope
Narrator1: And peace
Narrator2: Had come to the world
Narrator1: And so they chose to go to Bethlehem
Narrator2: And were never ever the same again.
SCENE 5 (the complete nativity scene)
Narrator1: So any chance of a happily ever after now?
Narrator2: Ever after? Yes, I reckon there is. But not before this baby grows up and makes a choice: a choice to love that will cost him his life. But that’s all in the future. Tonight, it us who all have a choice to make.
(Sing “In Nazareth one night)