DAY# 1 / TOPIC: Mate Selection
STATE BEHAVIORAL OUTCOME:
Develop a personal list of characteristics, qualities, and values desired in a marriage partner.
Analyze the importance and process of mate selection.
SUPPORTIVE OBJECTIVE:
After the lesson the students will identify what they want in a mate, and why people get married by participation in class 100%.
SUPPORTIVE CONCEPT:
Forming a list of characteristics and qualities for a mate will help knowing what you are looking for in a spouse.
CONTENT
Qualities you want in a mate
  1. Be selective
  2. Make a list before you develop a relationship.
  3. Find the right person, do not try to change the person
  4. Become the kind of person you want to marry.
You attract what you are not what you want.
Why people marry?
  1. Trapped
  2. Escape
  3. Obligation
  4. Status Change
  5. Set-Variable
  6. Pity
  7. Love
  8. Pressure
  9. Companionship
  10. Money
  11. Family
  12. Common History
(Use the handout to elaborate on each item) / LEARNING EXPERIENCES
(Introduction)
Show the video or read the story “Fanny’s Dream” Explain to the students that selecting a mate is a process and that we can’t rely on our fairy god-mother to find the one for us. We need to be aware of what will make us happy.
Lecture
(10 minutes)
Pass out packet to students.
Have the class list at least 10 qualities they want in a mate.
Are they different or the same, than the qualities you want in a date?
Place up the overhead, “You attract what you are not what you want.”
Share the poem from Shel Silverstein.
“The Dirtiest Man in the World”
(5 minutes)
Lecture
Have students take notes in their packet.
(10 minutes)
EVALUATION:
I will watch my students and make sure they take the notes in their packets for the day.
SOURCES:
Utah State Curriculum Guide
DAY # 1 / TOPIC: Mate Selection
STATE BEHAVIORAL OUTCOME:
Analyze theories of mate selection.
Define roles and identify topics to be discussed prior to marriage.
Identify signals of potential marriage problems.
SUPPORTIVE OBJECTIVE:
After the lesson the students will distinguish the traits in a mate and identify the marital risks associated in a marriage, by participating in class and assignments with 100% accuracy.
SUPPORTIVE CONCEPT:
There are risks involved in marriage.
There are certain roles in a marriage that can lead to a happy relationship if they are understood.
CONTENT
Mate Selection Theories
(Use the handout from the Utah State Curriculum Guide for reference)
“Mate Selection Factors,” (Utah State Curriculum Guide)
5 Important items in a marriage.
  1. A happy childhood.
  2. Attendance at a weekly church service.
  3. Family Placement
  4. Having a good relationship with parents (Healthy attachment to relatively little conflict)
  5. Parents having a happy marriage
Marital Risks (Utah State Curriculum Guide)
There are many risks involved in marriage. Below is a list of the most common risks that result in divorce. Based on these risks, how long would most students marriages last if they were to marry next month?
  1. Married at early an age (the biggest risk is when the girl is under 20)
  2. Parental disapproval of marriage or spouse.
  3. Unhappy childhood
  4. Poor relationship with parents
  5. Poor self-concept
  6. Different values
  7. Poor attitude about sex
  8. Parents are divorced or in a poor marriage
  9. Pre-marital pregnancy
  10. Length of acquaintance with each other is less than one year before marriage
  11. Either partner is physically or emotionally unhealthy.
/ LEARNING EXPERIENCES
Students will take notes in their packets.
(15 minutes)
Discuss with the students “Mate Selection Factors,” The 5 important things in a marriage. Have them write them down in their packet.
(10 minutes)
Lecture
Students can take notes in their packet.
(10 minutes)
Place up overhead
EVALUATION:
I will watch the students and have them take their notes in their packets.
SOURCES:
Utah State Curriculum Guide
DAY # 2 / TOPIC: Engagement – Marriage
STATE BEHAVIORAL OUTCOME:
Identify the purposes of the engagement period
Identify legal requirements.
SUPPORTIVE OBJECTIVE:
After the lesson the students will identify and explain what the engagement period is for by participating in class 100 %.
SUPPORTIVE CONCEPT:
The time of engagement is to evaluate, prepare, and plan for a marriage and wedding.
Knowledge of how to plan a wedding will make things a lot smoother.
CONTENT
What makes and engagement official?
  • Announcement to the family.
  • The engagement ring
Buying the ring
  • Together or only the guy
  • Know what she wants
  • Don’t go into debt
  • Legend – the vein in the left ring finger leads straight to the heart – not true.
Creative Proposals
  • Treasure hunt
  • Surprise date
  • Sky Writing
  • Ball Games
  • Restaurants
  • Others
How long should the engagement period be?
  • It varies – can be short or long.
What is the engagement period for?
  1. Time for testing – to evaluate
  2. Opportunity to make a transition from single to being married.
  3. Time to prepare for responsibility for married life.
  4. Plan the wedding.
Getting to know your fiancé.
“Finding the Love of your Life” by Neil Clark Warren, Ph.D.
Use the this book for information
Marriage License
Use the information from the Utah County Clerks Office web site.

Wedding Plans
Wedding Timeline
Traditional Expense List
Who pays for what Traditionally? / LEARNING EXPERIENCES
Lecture
(15 minutes)
Have the students work through chapter 2 in the book “Finding the Love of your Life.” Study Guide. Have then write down their answers and think about what they want in a spouse.
(25 minutes)
Have students take a short quiz, before you talk about the marriage license.
  1. Where do you get a marriage license? (County Clerks Office)
  2. T/F Only one partner needs to be there to apply for the license. (False-they both need to be present to sign it)
  3. How much does the license cost? ($50 cash)
  4. T/F There is no age requirement? (False)
  5. The license is valid for how long? (30 days)
(10 minutes)
Why is there so much information?
(Wedding Planning is a business)
Again the parents choose to give you a wedding and the reception. They choose to help you pay for the wedding.
Talk about timing and when to plan what for a wedding. (One year plan)
Go through a traditional expense list of who pays for what.
(15 minutes)
Show the video clip from “Father of the Bride” with Fraunk as the Wedding Planner.
(10 minutes)
EVALUATION:
I will collect their lists of things they want in a spouse, and discuss with them the wedding plans to make sure they know it does take a long time to plan a wedding.
SOURCES:
Utah State Curriculum Guide
“Finding the Love of Your Life” Neil Clark Warren, Ph.D.
“Father of the Bride” video
Utah County Clerks Office – marriage license information.