Nadine BHackeulogyfor JD Nelson July 10, 2013, 1
Imagine that my husband Jerry Dunfey JD’s friend of 55 years is standing here as I am speaking on behalf of him and countless other friends who were part of JD’s extended family and loved him deeply and profoundly.
Two weeks ago when Jerry and I visited JD to say goodbye we spent the afternoon with two of his adult children, Nina and JD. Several times Nina stood behind Jerry and gently pushed on the back of his neck. She said, “Remember this? It’s what you did for me when we were on our first bike ride together and I was having trouble as a very little girl peddling up a hill. You were there guiding and supporting me.”
I thought what a perfect metaphor that is for what JD did for so many others: gently guide and support everyone in a way that allowed each to experience their own autonomy and empower them to try new and possibly frightening things in a way that felt safe because he had their back.
JD always had everyone’s back since he took responsibility for everything. As his eldest daughter Aleta told me, his life-long motto always was, “The buck stops here.”
Aleta, JD, Nina, Samia, Amy, Leigha, Khalif, Chad, Cairo, Jedidiah, Nahla, Aariana, Steven, Dana, Michael, Carol, David and Mark you were truly blessed to have such an extraordinary man as your father, grandfather, great-grandfather, uncle and great-uncle.
And, everyone gathered here today and so many others around the world stand by you as you say farewell to a great presence in your lives. While he no longer physically will be available to you, his life lessons will continue to guide you just like a gentle hand on the back of your necks.
Deepest thanks to “Team JD” who provided compassion, dignity and comfort for JD’s transition: Esther, Lucimar, Johnny, Roseline, Sadraque, Tonie, Regina, Cindy, Diana, Roger, Marie, Drs. Selkoe, Hartley, Osmond and all the other health care professionals for always being one step ahead of his needs.
As tributes and remembrances came pouring in from around the world, JD’s portrait emerged ofthe magnificent, multi-faceted human being we each remember him as:
JD, the family man; JD, the friend man; JD, the business man; JD, the political man; JD, the sail mail; JD, the snowman; JD, the all-around renaissance man.
The words people from all these walks of life use to describe JD are remarkably similar: extraordinary intellectual ability; enormous charm and charisma; infectious enthusiasm; boundless generosity; exceptional leadership skills; master story teller;side-splittingly funny jokester; compassionate, supportive ally; mentor; visionary; huge heart.
His daughter Nina, who lovingly called JD “Pop,” describes a father who didn’t withhold anything. When she wanted to study gymnastics and Jay wanted to learn to ski, he flew them to Utah for camps. While always encouraging his three children to push to their limits, Nina and Aleta each describe him as not judgmental: just wanting to know they’d done their best.
He and their mother Samia had placed Aleta and Nina in the all-girls Newton parochial High School to escape the brutality of being bussed to South Boston. Nina remembers getting a D in one subject and being terrified but all JD asked was, had she done her best and, when she said yes, he answered “that’s all I can ever ask of you.” From then on, she vowed to herself she’d always do her best, something which is echoed by everyone who’s ever worked with JD.
Wayne Owen, JD’s partner at Rhumbline who knew him for 38 years since they both started at State Street Bank, describes JD’s unshakeable confidence that all things were possible. Wayne, like so many others, attribute this to JD’s parents, Enid and Masten, Jamaican immigrants who instilled in him and his brothers a sense of never bowing to external limitations and always striving for and recognizing in others goodness, hard work and determination.
Ron Golz first met JD in 1977 when he hired him as a sales executive at State Street right after JD had served as finance director of the Democratic National Party during the Carter years under party chair Ken Curtis, the former Governor of Maine. JD actually was interviewing for an operations position and even told Ron he had no sales experience. But Ron was convinced he was perfect for the sales job because he was so impressed by JD’s presence and charisma. He asked JD what he’d done at the DNC, which was primarily fundraising and then he said, “So you called potential donors, made your pitch and they gave you money, like real money? JD, that’s the purest form of salesmanship there is!”
JD became the head of the then new public funds division and, with Wayne Owen, built it to become a major force in that market and a significant contributor to State Steet’s bottom line. 23 years ago, JD and Wayne left State Street to form Rhumbline, where they grew their assets under management to over $27B, the eight largest money managers in the US. As Ron says, “not bad for a guy who told me in 1977 he had no sales experience.”
And, as Wayne, his Rhumbline partner says, in the early years they knew it would be a daunting challenge to complete against the likes of State Street, Blackrock, Northern Trust and other major companies but entering the ring against Sumo wrestlers was not going to prevent JD from succeeding. His competitiveness and salesmanship was unparalleled. Wayne says, “We always saved JD for the close and, oh boy, it was magical how he would connect with his audience. He could read a crowd like no one else. He gave the smoothest presentations in the industry. And when we won a new client, his service skills were legendary.”
There are so many dimensions to JD’s life, including his storied political activism. In 1970 he ran the congressional campaign of his brother David – who in 1979 became a Federal Judge. Dave was running against the notorious Louise Day Hicks and JD lined up celebrities like Lou Rawls to join in that spirited campaign. During the Carter years he was treasurer of the DNC. In 1983 JD managed the historic of campaign of Mel King, the first African American to make it to a Boston mayoral election campaign.
In testimony to JD’s political acumen, in Bryan Marquard’s Boston Globe article he quotes Ray Flynn who won that election, talking about JD, “He supported Mel King, but the day after the election, I called him up and said, ‘I want you to join my administration. He was the cream of the crop in the city.” In that same article, Mel King says that JD “encouraged him to use the quote ‘we may have come on different ships, but we’re all in the same boat now.’” How very true! But, don’t think for a minute that JD was all business or politics. As I’ve said, he was a true renaissance man with multiple dimensions.
His love of sailing is well-known. As Wayne recalls, being on the water was his time to reflect, to laugh and to be free of daily pressures. No one had a greater respect for the ocean, its beauty and strength. JD was always so excited to get his boat on the water each spring. Once the warm summer weather hit, his office hours decreased pretty quickly. As Wayne says, when you stepped on his boat, you always knew you were safe – not only because he was a masterful captain but also because he could not swim!
I could tell you countless stories that JD, Jerry and Frank DeBoise would share about times when they all nearly drowned: I’d be shuddering in fear while they shared deep belly laughs recounting their follies. Jerry remembers JD sailing with our brother Jack Dunfey on his boat “The Last Hurrah” and honing his sailing skills with Phil Richards of Ogunquit, ME. But, not just sailing: JD bought from Jerry’s father-in-law Arthur Hoskins his Raleigh bike shop in Newton, MA and later created the first bike shop in Waterville Valley, NH where Peter Dunfey worked.
JD, Frank DeBoise and Jerry were best of buddies in the Waterville Valley ski resort: Jerry arriving in the 1960s; Frank in 1968 and JD a few years later. Bob Bent, Vice President at Wells Fargo Advisors, says, “Back in 1972, JD tried to convince his brother Dave to buy a house in Waterville Valley. What better investment! Dave would buy the house and JD would take his skis and his girlfriends there to ‘manage’ it!”
And, while it may not be as well-known, Bernie Weichsel, who was the first Executive Directorof the International Freestyle Skiers Association, wants us all to remember that JD played a pivotal role at Waterville Valleyin the development of Freestyle skiing, which is the competitive field in which American skiers have done the best and which has produced some of the Snow Sports best known names and athletes, including JD’s close friends George Askovoldt, Floyd Wilkie and Wayne Wong, who was just inducted into the US Ski and Snowboard Hall of Fame. Wong’s success started in Waterville Valley in 1971 and he turned to JD to advise him on the whole business of Freestyle skiing.
Not only did Wong, Askiovolt and Wilkie benefit from his wise counsel but JD’s involvement led to the growth and acceptance of Freestyle skiing as a mainstream sport. Andunder JD’s stewardship, the American Freestyle Skiers Association developed better competitive rules and regulations as well as more stringent safety policies and a uniform insurance standard for all competitors, parts of Freestyles early legacy that’s still with us today. JD did all this while working his full-time job but as Bernie says, “JD could juggle – successfully – many, many undertakings at one time: just one of his endless endearing qualities.”
In fact, John and Donnie Hughes, other friends from those early years when Donnie assisted JD with his Freestyle work, describe when JD would get calls from his office. The standard answer always was, “He’s in a meeting and will get back to you.” No one at work knew until after the expense accounts were submitted that JD was on a ski lift with some prospective clients closing a deal while enjoying his passion for skiing. JD also brought close friends, like President Carter’s son Chip, to ski with him and his circle of friends in Waterville Valley.
But more than anything JD loved a good time with family and friends and all have incredible memories, including right through his final more difficult years. Floretta DeBoise tells of when she visited him four years ago in Falmouth. He was upstairs and one of his granddaughters called up to him to say someone was there to visit. When he didn’t answer, Floretta shouted, “You better get your butt down here and say hi to me!” He came down and, after they hugged, she said you didn’t even know it was me down here did you?” Without missing a beat, he answered, “I did as soon as I heard that mouth!”
Jerry talks about much earlier years when he, Frank Deboise and JD took gaggles of their kids together on these crazy long bike rides. From Hampton NH to Booth Bay Harbor, ME; from Cape Elizabeth, ME to Waterville Valley, NH and one from Newton, MA to Providence, RI with a stop at JD’s brother David’s house in Pocaset where Grandpa Masten cooked everyone Jamaican fried chicken. To this day, Jerry just shares the punch line of one JD’s famous long jokes, “My bicycle!” and I can tell by his tone and the grin on his face that there was some serious double entre going on. Amazing that the kids survived their father’s escapades but all of them have life-long memories of it. We’ve got a picture of Jay (then Aziz), Sean Dunfey and Brien DeBoise sitting together on a motor bike and all grinning from ear to ear.
JD’s mother Enid Nelson and Jerry’s mother Catherine Dunfey became close friends: they took regular trips to Florida together staying at Jerry’s condo; that’s how close the two families were to each other. In fact, Enid was there when Catherine had her heart attack and she called the hospital and the rest of the family. We continued to visit Enid long after that and sat with JD when she and Dave had their funerals. For all of us, whether in business, sport, politics or just plain friendship, everyone who knew JD felt like they were part of his extended family.
So, as we gather here, I think we all feel the same way as Nina when she says, “see you again soon, Pop, because as a wise man once told me, ‘People don’t die, they just leave your sight.’”
And an excerpt of Aleta’s posthumous poem to her dad beautifully sums up our beloved JD:
A Frail Old Man?
“What do you see when you’re looking at me?
I assure it’s best not to feel pity!
As I struggle to sit, and struggle to eat;
You’ve no idea of the images my mind keeps.
I’ve blazed roads many follow;
I’ve changed the status quo;
I’ve made being a black man something to behold!
You see a frail body, though I’ve strong breath and firm grip;
You see a man slipping, so I no longer make your lists.
Yet let me be clear, on the man who lays here;
I’ve history behind me, that will continue for years!
So if a frail man, is all that you see;
Then blind, yes blind you must be.
I’ve lived one hell of a life…just look behind me!!”