MIDLIFE DATING 101: ONLINE DATING
Sandra Watson, Boom2Bloom.com
Dating in midlife is definitely different than back when I was in high school. Obvious statement, right? Online dating can be a good way to reach out and meet other singles.
Over the years I’ve done my best to keep an open mind regarding dating. Yes, online dating takes commitment, energy, and time. But I was willing to devote all of these to finding the man of my dreams.
Having been single for twenty-plus years, I have tried my share of online dating options-Match.com, EHarmony, OK Cupid, just to name a few.
Many of these options did lead to actual dates, and even one long term relationship. Connecting and meeting up can be self-affirming. Not hearing from anyone for any length of time can be downright brutal!
Articles on midlife dating advice are available on all online dating sites, and can be quite helpful. As a self-proclaimed expert on this topic, I came up with several pieces of the dating puzzle I believe are crucial to success when maneuvering through what can be a confusing and overwhelming experience in midlife.
Who Are You?
To thine own self be true. How well do you know yourself? Self-reflection is an important part of all aspects of your life. It is crucial in the world of dating.
Who are you? What do you value? Are you open to trying new activities? How would you rate your sense of self?
My advice is to know who you are and never compromise any aspect of yourself in order to increase the activity on your profile.
What Do You Want?
I once read an article on manifesting the partner of your dreams. Making a list of 100 traits you are looking for in a partner was the basis of the article. Around #55 I started feeling a bit trivial. #55-Brown eyes. # 56-Drives a Truck…you get the idea. I was getting desperate!
Determine Your Relationship Goals
Are you looking for a long-term commitment? Dating for friendship and fun? This is a tough one for me, as my approach to dating is who knows? Can’t I take this one day at a time and see where it goes? Of course our goal doesn’t need to be etched in stone; you are, after all, only half of the relationship equation.
On the other hand, if you truly never want to get married again, accept this. Be true to yourself, but be open to changing your mind down the road if you feel the need.
Letting Go
Finding someone who fits into your world takes faith. By midlife, most of us know that a relationship worth having can’t be forced.
Remember the line from the Garth Brooks songSome of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers?Focus on being open to what the Universe presents to you. Let go of rigid expectations; we don’t always know what is best for us. We can get in our own way if we define our expectations too narrowly. The more self-reflection you do, the more you know what you are looking for. However, we still need to stay open to possibilities that come our way.
Having a positive attitude and approaching this as an opportunity to have fun, learn, and grow, helps reduce the dread and fear that can be part of dating. I view dating as an adventure, even possibly as content for a book one day-who knows?