Match Support Check-in Questions

This document features sample check-in questions that mentoring program staff can use during regular communication with mentors, parents and youth participants.These questions are designed to supplement the resource Examining Mentoring Relationship Healthrubric, in which program staff are empowered to assess the overall health of individual mentoring relationships.For information on documentation, see the fullExamining the Health of Youth Mentoring Relationshipsrubric.

Mentor Check-in Questions Below are examples of match support questions that program staff can ask of mentors during regular check-ins.

Category / Examples of questions / What are you looking for?
Meeting Consistency & Frequency
  • How often did you and your mentee meet this past month?
  • What did you do together?
  • If either you or your mentee had to make any changes to a proposed meeting day or time, how was this navigated?
  • When you meet with your mentee, has anyone else ever joined you?
  • Has your mentee been to your home?
/
  • Appropriate frequency and means of interacting
  • Signs of mentor missing meetings or rescheduling
  • Red flags relating to safety of the child.

Communication
Between the mentor and P/GU /
  • How often do you speak to your mentee’s P/GU?
  • How do you communicate and plan with your mentee’s P/GU
/
  • Appropriate frequency and means of communication.
  • Signs of match not communicating.

Between the mentor and youth /
  • How often did you speak to your mentee over the past month?
  • How did you communicate (phone, text, email, Facebook, etc.)?
  • How often do you communicate and plan activities with your mentee?

Between the mentor and the agency /
  • How satisfied are you with the level of communication you receive from our agency or me?
  • Do you feel like you can get ahold of me if you need to?

Youth Centered
  • How do you decide what activities you and your mentee do together?
  • How do you determine if an activity is appropriate and engaging for your mentee?
  • What do you both like?
  • What activities did one of you like more than the other person?
  • What are you planning to do together next month?
  • What activities has your mentee expressed interest in that you don’t know how to access or support?
  • How do you support your mentee to engage in growth promoting activities?
/
  • Developmentally appropriate, pro-social activities that were selected primarily with the youth’s input, feedback, or leadership.
  • Mentor aware of youth’s preferences.
  • Appropriate activities.

Youth Emotional Engagement
  • How does your mentee seem when the two of you are together?
  • How much do you think your mentee enjoys your time together?
  • What if anything do you think might support your mentee to feel more comfortable or engage more in activities with you?
/
  • Any sign the mentee is uncomfortable or disengaged during activities.

Developmental Interactions
  • What are your thoughts about how your mentee is doing?
  • How do you know how your mentee is doing?
  • What supportive communication skills are easiest for you to use?
  • How do you know when you’re using them?
  • Where do you need more practice as it relates to supportive communication skills (asking open-ended questions, practicing active listening, using encouragement instead of praise)?
  • How do you provide support or guidance to your mentee?
/
  • Appropriate time dedicated to developmental activities
  • Appropriate guidance.
  • Mentor feeling okay about pace, etc.

Mentor Emotional Engagement/Commitment
  • How do you think your relationship with your mentee is progressing?
  • How do you feel about this experience overall?
  • How do you feel about your mentee? What do you think about your relationship with your mentee?
  • How do you feel about the mentee’s caregivers?
  • Have you noticed any changes in your mentee since we last spoke?
  • What are you feeling positive about?
  • What are you struggling with?
/
  • Relationship development.
  • Mentor’s level of commitment
  • Any shifting motivations or expectations for engagement in the mentoring relationship.

Comfort Level of P/GU
  • How supportive does your mentee’s P/GU seem of your relationship?
  • Does your mentee’s parent know what you are doing before each outing?
  • Are you experiencing any challenges or concerns related to your mentee’s parent and your mentoring relationship?
  • What if any feedback have you received from your mentee’s parent?
/
  • Parent seems supportive of the match, hasn’t interfered with outings or relationship development process.

Program Satisfaction
  • How confident do you feel in your role as a mentor?
  • What do you need in the way of support from our agency or me?
  • How else can I support you?
  • Do you have my contact information handy?
  • Are you receiving x? Do you know about x future training?
/
  • Opportunities to better support the match.

Cultural Responsivity
  • What if any challenges have you experienced related to cultural conflicts between you and your mentee or between you and your mentee’s family?
  • How are you building your awareness of your own personal and cultural identity and that of your mentee?
  • What do you think you can do to support the positive identity development of your mentee?
  • What support do you need related to navigating across cultures and conflict within your mentoring relationship?
/
  • Mentor’s awareness of and responsivity to cultural differences.
  • Mentor’s willingness to seek to understand the perspective of others
  • Mentor’s continued growth related to self-awareness and cross-cultural communication.

Aligned Expectations
  • To what degree does your current mentoring experience reflect what was communicated to you in terms of commitment and program expectations?
  • What misunderstandings regarding program or relationship expectations have you experienced with your mentee?
  • What misunderstandings regarding program or relationship expectations have you experienced with your mentee’s parent?
  • What misunderstandings regarding program or relationship expectations have you experienced with our agency?
  • What if anything else is important to share regarding your experience in this mentoring relationship?
/
  • Looking to see if the mentor’s originally motivation for engagement is changing.
  • To what degree the experience of mentoring aligns with the mentor’s initial and on-going expectations for engagement.

Parent Check-in Questions Below are examples of match support questions that program staff can ask parents or guardians during regular check-ins.

Category / Examples of questions / What are you looking for?
Meeting Consistency & Frequency
  • How often did your child and their mentor meet last month?
  • As far as you know what did they do together?
  • If either you or your child’s mentor had to make changes to a proposed meeting day or time, how was this navigated?
  • When your child meets with their mentor has anyone else ever joined them?
  • Have you noticed any changes in your child’s behavior since we last spoke?
  • How do you feel about the kinds of activities your child and his/her mentor engage in together?
/
  • Appropriate frequency and means of interacting
  • Signs of mentor missing meetings or rescheduling
  • Red flags relating to safety of the child.

Communication
Between the mentor and P/GU /
  • How often do you speak to your child’s mentor?
  • How do you communicate and plan with your child’s mentor?
/
  • Appropriate frequency and means of communication.
  • Signs of match not communicating.

Between the mentor and youth /
  • How often did your child speak with their mentor over the past month?
  • How do they communicate (phone, text, email, Facebook, etc.)?

Between the mentor and the agency /
  • How satisfied are you with the level of communication you receive from our agency or me?
  • Do you feel like you can get ahold of me if you need to?

Youth Centered
  • Do you know how your child and their mentor decide on activities to do together?
  • How appropriate and engaging do you think the activities they do together are for your child?
  • What kinds of activities has your child particularly enjoyed with their mentor?
  • What activities has your child expressed interest in engaging in with their mentor?
  • How well does your child’s mentor support your child to engage in growth promoting activities?
/
  • Developmentally appropriate, pro-social activities that ware selected primarily with the youth’s input, feedback, or leadership.
  • Mentor is aware of youth’s preferences.
  • Appropriate activities.

Youth Emotional Engagement
  • How does your child seem when they are with their mentor?
  • How much do you think your child enjoys spending time with their mentor?
  • What if anything might support your child to feel more comfortable during activities/ outings with their mentor?
/
  • Any sign the mentee is uncomfortable or disengaged during activities.

Developmental Interactions
  • What are your thoughts about how your child is doing?
  • What does your child’s mentor do that you feel supports the healthy growth of your child?
  • Where do think your child’s mentor needs more practice as it relates to supporting your child’s growth?
  • How does your child’s mentor provide support or guidance to your child?
/
  • Appropriate time dedicated to developmental activities
  • Appropriate guidance.
  • Mentor feeling okay about pace, etc.

Mentor Emotional Engagement/Commitment
  • How do you think your child’s relationship with their mentor is progressing?
  • Have you noticed any changes in your child’s mentor since we last spoke?
  • How invested do you think your child’s mentor is?
  • What if any feedback have you received from your child’s mentor?
/
  • Relationship development.
  • Mentor’s level of commitment
  • Any shifting motivations or expectations for engagement in the mentoring relationship.

Comfort Level of P/GU
  • How do you feel about your child’s mentor?
  • How do you feel about this experience overall?
  • How supportive do you feel ofthe relationship?
  • What are you feeling positive about?
  • What are you struggling with?
  • Do you know what your child is doing with their mentor before each outing?
  • Are you experiencing any challenges or concerns related to your child’s mentoring relationship?
/
  • Parent seems supportive of the match, hasn’t interfered with outings or relationship development process.

Program Satisfaction
  • How satisfied are you with the level of support you receive from our agency?
  • What do you need in the way of support from our agency or me?
  • How else can I support you?
  • Do you have my contact information handy?
  • Are you receiving x? Do you know about x future group activities, etc.
/
  • Opportunities to better support the match.

Cultural Responsivity
  • What if any challenges have you experienced related to cultural conflicts between you and your child’s mentor?
  • What if any challenges has your child experienced related to cultural conflicts between them and their mentor?
  • How well do you feel like your child’s mentor is developing an awareness of your child’s cultural background?
  • What if anything do you think your child’s mentor can do to support the positive identity development of your child?
  • What support do you need related to navigating across cultures and conflict with your child’s mentor?
/
  • Parent’s awareness of the mentor’s responsivity to cultural differences.
  • Mentor’s willingness to seek to understand the perspective of others
  • Mentor’s continued growth related to self-awareness and cross-cultural communication.

Aligned Expectations
  • To what degree does your current mentoring experience reflect what was communicated to you in terms of commitment and program expectations?
  • What misunderstandings regarding program or relationship expectations have you experienced with your child’s mentor?
  • What misunderstandings regarding program or relationship expectations have you experienced with your child?
  • What misunderstandings regarding program or relationship expectations have you experienced with our agency?
  • What if anything else is important to share regarding your experience in this mentoring program?
/
  • Looking to see if the parent’s original motivation for engagement is changing.
  • To what degree the mentoring experience aligns with the parent’s initial and on-going expectations.

Youth Check-in Questions Below are examples of match support questions that program staff can ask youth during regular
check-ins.

Category / Examples of questions / What are you looking for?
Meeting Consistency & Frequency
  • How often did you and your mentor meet this past month?
  • What did you do together?
  • When you meet with your mentorhas anyone else ever joined you?
  • Have you been to your mentor’s home?
/
  • Appropriate frequency and means of interacting
  • Signs of mentor missing meetings or rescheduling
  • Red flags relating to safety of the child.

Communication
Between the mentor and youth /
  • How often did you speak to your mentor over the past month?
  • How did you communicate (phone, text, email, Facebook, etc.)?
  • How often do you communicate and plan activities with your mentor?
/
  • Appropriate frequency and means of communication.
  • Signs of match not communicating.

Between the P/GU and the youth /
  • How often do you speak with your P/GU about your mentoring relationship?

Between the mentor and the agency /
  • Do you feel like you can get ahold of me if you need to?
  • Is there anything else I can do to support your positive experience in this program?

Youth Centered
  • How do you think your relationship is going with your mentor?
  • How do you feel about this experience overall?
  • How do you decide what activities you and your mentor do together?
  • What do you both like?
  • What activities did one of you like more than the other person?
  • What are you planning to do together next month?
  • What activities have you expressed interest in that you haven’t done?
  • How often do you feel like you get to engage in activities with your mentor that helps you build new skills?
/
  • Developmentally appropriate, pro-social activities that were selected primarily with the youth’s input, feedback, or leadership.
  • Mentor aware of youth’s preferences.
  • Appropriate activities.

Youth Emotional Engagement
  • How are you enjoying your time with your mentor?
  • What if anything would make you more excited about your time with your mentor?
  • What if anything would make you feel more comfortable with your mentor?
  • How connected do you feel to your mentor?
/
  • Any sign the mentee is uncomfortable or disengaged during activities.

Developmental Interactions
  • How well does your mentor listen to you?
  • Do you feel like your mentor understands you?
  • How often does your mentor pay attention to things you’ve shared in the past?
  • How comfortable do you feel talking to your mentor?
  • Has your mentor ever asked you about something that you didn’t want to talk to them about?
  • What kind of guidance or support do you get from your mentor?
/
  • Appropriate time dedicated to developmental activities
  • Appropriate guidance.
  • Youth feeling okay about pace, etc.

Mentor Emotional Engagement/Commitment
  • How much do you think your mentor enjoys spending time with you?
  • How comfortable do you feel with your mentor?
/
  • Relationship development.
  • Mentor’s level of commitment
  • Any shifting motivations or expectations for engagement in the mentoring relationship.

Comfort Level of P/GU
  • Does your parent know what you and your mentor are going to do before each outing?
  • Are you experiencing any challenges or concerns related to your parent and your mentoring relationship?
  • What if any feedback have you received from your parent regarding your mentoring relationship?
/
  • Parent seems supportive of the match, hasn’t interfered with outings or relationship development process.

Program Satisfaction
  • How well are you enjoying your experience in this program?
  • What do you need in the way of support from our agency or me?
  • How else can I support you?
  • Do you have my contact information handy?
  • Do you know about x future activities?
/
  • Opportunities to better support the match.

Cultural Responsivity
  • How well do you feel like your mentor knows you?
  • How has spending time with your mentor helped you get to know yourself better?
  • What if any challenges have you experienced related to cultural conflicts between you and your mentor?
/
  • Mentor’s awareness of and responsivity to cultural differences.
  • Mentor’s willingness to seek to understand the perspective of others
  • Mentor’s continued growth related to self-awareness and cross-cultural communication.

Aligned Expectations
  • How satisfied are you with your mentoring relationship?
  • How satisfied are you with your experience in this program?
  • What if anything else is important to share regarding your experience in this mentoring relationship?
/
  • Looking to see if the youth’s original motivation for engagement is changing.
  • To what degree the experience of mentoring aligns with the youth’s initial and on-going expectations for engagement.

Resource developed by Meghan Perry for the National Mentoring Resource Center, a project of the
Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention