Love Always Finds a Way
By Devin Miller
Chapter One:
Every Story Has a Beginning
Thus began another morning, one like any other. I got out of bed slowly, turning my alarm clock off. Rubbing my eyes as I arose like a corpse from its tomb centuries later. Hastly getting dressed, I acquire my typical clothing. However, this was far from “typical” for the “usual” person. I had always been unique, it's the way my mother raised me; she was and even dressed similar to me. She was my idol. My clothing consisted of: A normal black shirt (either having a logo or design on it), black pants with handcuffs & chains going down the entire leggings, a spike collar, as well as spike bracelets. Heading into the bathroom, I also spike up my hair and put on some eyeliner and shadow; “black as the nightsky” I used to always tease people when they asked me why I wore that, let alone the color. I smiled happily into the mirror at my final presentation. Dressing the way I did was neither rebellious or because I was depressed, or hated life... So many stereotypes about Gothic people exist, and none of them are the kindest to repeat. But in all reality, I was a very out-going, loving, nurturing, guy. I held all the same emotions everyone else does: I cried, I laughed, I did pretty much everything except for Love. And not in the way your probably thinking. Of course I “loved”- I loved my family and friends very much; and my mother...she was my world growing up! Leaving the bathroom, I went downstairs and out the front door. One of the only days I had off from work; I just wanted to relax and truly enjoy it.... Have you ever heard of love at first sight, or have you ever read any of those old books wwhere the princess finds her prince charming? Well, I always believed in those, or at least I thought I did... For years I have always seeked my prince charming. Growing up in Michigan though, really didn't pose much luck for a gay guy though. If you ever came across another gay guy, he'd either be one of those stereotypes (flamer) or just egotistical/cocky.... All I ever wanted was a guy that would love me for me... That's it. And every gay guy I ever came across always made fun of me for the way I looked. Isn't it crazy the way our world judges people based off of looks? No one ever has time to “read” the book- but just 'judge it by the cover'. By now I have walked down my block, and went through the entrance to the park I associated with all my life. Taking in that fresh air, hands in pockets, I continue on the Pedestrian-Marked paths. Walking slowly, taking my time to enjoy it. Long-story-short: I wanted Love... I wanted to find that special someone. But I knew it was hopeless living here; I needed to go someplace where I knew I could fit in.. Find that real soul mate who was actually like me.. And that's where it all began.
Chapter Two:
Miracles Do Happen
As I make my final round around the park, I exit out the back gates, as I always have. Now pacing downtown, the building I pass all still remain as I always knew them to be. However, about half way down the street, a building stood where there used to be a vacant lot for years. “How have I not noticed this...let alone being built?” I said sighing, as I grew nearer. Now outside of the entrance, the glass windows tinted and a clever sign outside the door saying: “Open When Needed” right next to the sign that read, “Looking for the Impossible? Come Inside...” I laugh softly to myself as I read this, thinking it's not only the most absurd, but ignorant signs one could put on their business; let alone the front door! “Heck..why not?” I say aloud once more, clinging the door handle with my right hand; opening it and entering. Once inside, it not only smelt of old books & dust but looked like it too. Some items inside literally had dust on them, even those glass-desk-thingies you see that hold jewelery. “M & A's Antiques & the Obscure!” read a large sign above a vacant counter... I have seen enough movies to acknowledge how cliché this place looked. I turned around, clinging the heavy door handle once-more to leave. “And where do you think you're going young man?!” I turned around, nearly jumping out of my skin. Desks clean, items shone new, and the entire place spotless for any dirt. Below the sign stood a what seemed to be: happy older gentleman possibly in his 60's. “Oh...excuse my manners...you nearly scared the Hell out of me...” I said chuckling as I approached the counter; slightly mind-boggled at how 'new' the place looked from mere seconds ago. “Hahaha...don't be alarmed my boy! I'm sure you're a very busy young man, yes...” He said hastily, coming around the corner. He placed his hand upon my shoulder and directed me around his shop; I didn't know whether to be alarmed or amused. Laughing inside, I listened to him as he drug me around the shop. “Here we have everything one needs! Oh yes yes!!! How about a new pair of...erm...” He said going through a pile of junk. “Umm...BOOTS!” He exclaimed, making me jump a little again. He looked at me quickly, then returned his now-intense gaze upon the boots. Silence was the only thing that stood before he chucked the boots at the wall; I tried not to laugh. “No! Those were always crap anyways...” He said chuckling, making me feel a bit more comfortable as he drug me to a few more piles; continuing this pattern, still flinging items around the store right after suggesting them to me. Eventually I couldn't hold my laughter back anymore; I chuckled aloud. He looked back, smiling at me; his thick beard covering a good portion of his face like Santa Claus, and his thick reading glasses to where his eyes were basically hidden. He began to laugh to, almost as though that were his only goal at that point. “Hehehe...alright my boy...let's get a bit more serious here...” He said softly as he drug me over to the front counter. A woman appeared from the back room and stood beside him after he made it around the counter as he previously was. “Hello beautiful...This here, my boy, this is my wife Angelina...” He said as if he were opening a chest full of money- presenting it to me like we won the lottery. “It's a pleasure to meet your acquaintance Miss.” I said with an honest smile. “No no no... No need to be formal! Call me Angie, or Angelina, dear.” She said with a bright smile. She too was older, around the same age as the man; she actually looked like one of those grandmas who would bake cookies for their grandchildren in those TV shows. I chuckled a bit at the idea; I always loved old people, and they always loved me. “And this here...silly old man...is my loving husband, Marcus.” She said, earnestly introducing him. I look between the two, still smiling. “Well...Angie...and Marcus...It is a pleasure to meet both of you...” I add, kinda correcting my first impression; they both giggle and Marcus goes into the back room. Angie turns back toward me, “Oh, don't mind Marcus, he'll be back in a minute for what you came for.... Now where was I? Oh yes... I'm glad you came down here today- We've been waiting such a long time.” She once-again said earnestly. I didn't know whether to be flattered or to run as fast as I could away. But both options came to a close; not even having a second to think, let alone respond- Marcus returned from the back room. Jolly as always, he approached the counter, giving what I'd call a Santa laugh as he placed this huge black rock on the counter. I don't know whether he though I knew what he wanted me to do...or if he expected me to know what the heck he was doing.. Regardless, and yet-again, the option was soon chose for me. “Hahaha, my boy! Don't look so befuddled! You came here in search of what you always wanted!...Just like the sign said outside...” He said, starting his sentence off a bit jolly, but finishing it with complete seriousness. “...Look, I am really sorry you guys...But I have no clue what in God's name your tal-” I was cut off by Angie. “No, you look here! Stop wasting yours and our time! We didn't come back for someone who was going to run away like he always has! Now pick up the Rune and place your hand over the “L”!....Unless...you really want to be alone forever...” she said clear-as-day. I felt like I was going to cry, and my eyes did tear up a bit. Reactingly, I grasp the Rune, facing it up & putting my right hand over the large- pink 'L'. “Good...That's what I thought....” She said, darting her elder eyes at mine, not looking away or even blinking; I was greatly intimidated. “...Now, let's get this rolling here...” She said placing her left hand over mine that was on top of the Rune's face. “It's time to go home child...” was the last words I heard before tears began to run down my face; eyeliner trickled with it, kinda looking cooler if you ask me. In all seriousness though, I began crying after she said that because the room grew completely dark, and I felt as if we were floating on thin air! Pictures of all the years I have been alone cycled through my mind like a night-terror. My tears became a soft cry as wind began to blow in the solid darkness of the room. They both clasped my cheeks, one hand of theirs on each cheek of mine. “It's okay....let that hurt out sweety...let it all out...everything will soon change...We're not gonna take any of that hurt with us when we get home...” She said, nurturing me.
Chapter Three:
Through the Vally of Darkness, I Fear no Evil...
Crying. Tears running down my face. Images of the Hell I lived for so many years. The abuse. Like a night-terror, images flashed like a camera: My father beating on me, my mother, my siblings... To images of being bullied in school... Being hurt emotionally, physically, you name it... My eyeliner had already made several paths down my cheeks like war-strips. “God..please! Make it stop!!!” I screamed, having that screechy-pitch in my voice from crying so hard. The wind finally stopped, and even with my eyes closed as you know- You can see light through your eyelids with them closed. I whimpered softly, not even realizing that I was in a tight hug with Marcus and Angelina. “There there sweety....We're home now...” She said in such a voice, you'd think she was literally an angel sent to answer my plea. I opened my eyes. We were on a darkened street; not even looking at the two in front of me now, I peered around my new surrounding. It was a completely dark street, only lit by the street lights above it; you could see houses covered in the thick masses of fog cuddling them closely. I didn't even care how I got here, I glanced back at Angie and Marcus; then looked shockingly back at those in astonishment, my jaw literally dropped! There stood, the elder couple I once knew (even if it was short-termed); except, this time they were completely different! First, Angie stood, she wore: an elegant black dress that looked like it was from the medieval times. Her attired also included a maroon pendant as well as a black umbrella in one hand, and magnificently white gloves. She also had a veil covering her face, but you could still see her face. Now, Marcus stood beside her, arm wrapped around her waist, as close as he had always been. Still with that jolly beard and smile, Marcus stood. Now wearing: Black nail polish like mine, eyeliner & shadow, a biker jacket with spikes around the shoulders, black shades, and fingerless gloves. His trousers were black jeans, fitting for his appearance; especially the biker jacket. “Hahaha...what'd you think we looked like my boy? A couple of old bafoons!?” He said jocular as he laughed jolly; Angie joined in the laugh.... At this point I didn't care how I got here, what they looked like, all I could say was: “Where the Hell am I!?!?!?” They both continued to laugh for a good second, slowly dieing down to a chuckle as Angie began to explain. “...You're home now...we have waited years for you to finally become confident and independent as you are.... Now look at you... All grown up, looking dashingly disturbed!” (that's a compliment believe it or not), she said smiling, approaching me and once-more clasping her hands upon my cheeks. “...Welcome home...welcome to Murk!” she exclaimed loudly, her right arm rose as she said the name. Soon the entire town became visible to me; still gloomy and covered in beautiful fog. It resembled a thick blanket, keeping the town snuggled closely in its arms. The houses were magnificently tattered, concrete walls, barred windows, Victorian doors at every house's entrance. I smiled widely, pacing with the two reactively; not even realizing I was already exploring. Angie decided to continue explaining as I made my way with them down the street to the center of Murk. “...You're going to love it here...the people...so nice....Food is great...Everything you could ever dream of!” she said, going through my brain half-understood as I looked in awe at this beautiful city...or town...or world... Who cared? She was right, it was everything I dreamed...and there was even more to come, something I never expected....
Chapter Four:
The Thread in My Stitched Heart
It was so beautiful, taking in the air was like breathing in the aroma of Hot Topics! (If you haven't been there, it's this intense, almost spice-smell, very alluring and uniquely loveable) I continued making my way, and eventually I began to see the people of Murk; I again, stood in awe! People of all different shapes & sizes of both genders roamed the streets; some even being transgender! Everyone dressed like Marcus, Angie, and I. From Victorian dresses to Top Hats and Spike Boots- Everyone wore something different and magnificently unique! They were all of Gothic nature, except of every walk of life! Some were Steam Punks, some were Cyber Goths (Me), some were Fetish Goths, and then just anything in between! It was my little heaven. And the people here were friendly; it's almost like this were a haven for everyone just wanting to escape the world's crude, merciless suffering. I hadn't realized my attire changed as well; it changed by far in my favor... I now wore in-addition to my designed tee shirt & chain pants: Spike Boots, Cyber Goggles, Rainbow-Ringed necklace beneath my Chooker, and a Spiked Rainbow-Belt (Visable with my now tucked-in-shirt). I continued on my path confidently; Marcus and Angie telling me that they'd find me when the time came to rejoin, just wanting me to explore on my own for now. The streets still remained the same as I said prior, some buildings looked so beauteous & filled with astounding gloom: Concrete & Moss covered walls, Wooden & Metal doors with ring-handles, Old-fashion lettering for every shop's sign, the elegance was simply endless.... After roughly an hour of excavating Murk, I decided to take some time to myself to relax. And there was a perfect place at that: a cemetery was in the near-distance. I neared it as I walked on the cracked side-walk. The gates already wide open, covered in dead grass & weeds. I smiled and entered. The moon gloomed perfectly over the cemetery as I began my path up the hill it came to on its dirt road. From tombstones to miniature crypts & tombs- this place felt no more at home. And I know that probably sounds creepy huh? Well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and places like these are full of rich history, silence, and astonishing pulchritude... As I made my way near the crypts, I sat beside a large tomb; looking mirthfully at the moon, letting my mind wander. I had subconsciously did as Angie said: let go of all the negativity in my life...no more hurt, no more suffering...just peace, at last. While daydreaming incautiously, I barely heard the sound of what seemed to be footsteps on dead leaves or sticks....