LIL EDDIE (Male, 8-12) Runs Into His Home

LIL EDDIE (Male, 8-12) Runs Into His Home

“CRACKIN”

Written By: Aldonnius Carter

Aldonnius CarterRegistration #: 1453370

1757 Monday Court

Tallahassee, Florida32301

(786) 759-2115 or (850) 566-9749

or

COPYRIGHT @ 2010

EXT – HOME – DAY

LIL EDDIE (male, 8-12) runs into his home.

INT – HOME – CONTINUOUS

Lil Eddie runs into the house and up the stairs to his uncle RONNIE’S (male, 20-30) room.

Lil Eddie bursts through Ronnie’s room door.

Ronnie lay in bed with his hands in his boxers.

Lil Eddie jumps onto Ronnie’s bed; startling Ronnie awake.

Ronnie awakens with a smile on his face.

LIL EDDIE

Uncle Ronnie, Uncle Ronnie!

RONNIE

God damn Lil Eddie! You

can’t just run in a grown

man room without knocking!

What if I had a chick in here!

LIL EDDIE

Then I would have seen her

legs I the air or you doing

something like this!

Lil Eddie starts moving his hips around.

RONNIE

Ok that enough! If your

mother saw you doing that

she’ll kill you and me both!

Then she gone kick me outta

here! So stop that shit!

Anyway, why all this excite-

ment?

P. 2

LIL EDDIE

Them boys down the street

keep saying jokes about me

being short; and I’m tired

of it!

RONNIE

Eddie, Eddie, Eddie you

are only a kid; and you

are going to grow taller

one day. Maybe! I at me

I was short once upon a

time.

LIL EDDIE

Forget that! I ain’t getting

no taller and you know it!

RONNIE

Damn I was just trying to

give you a little hope!

LIL EDDIE

Hope with lies! Don’t

you know we kids today,

than you dummies were

when you were my age!

RONNIE

But still we all were little

like you.

LIL EDDIE

See you even make jokes

about my height!

RONNIE

Eddie I wasn’t making fun

P. 3

RONNIE (CONT’D)

of your height. You just

a little fellow, with little

man disease.

LIL EDDIE

Funny Uncle Ronnie! I’m

tired of being picked on!

RONNIE

What do you want me to

do?

LIL EDDIE

I want you to go down

there and crack on the

kids that crack on me!

RONNIE

I’m going down there

but I’m not going to

crack on a lil kid!

EXT – YARD – MOMENT’S LATER

Five kids stand in yard licking on frozen cups or popsicles.

Ronnie and Lil Eddie nears the five kids.

RONNIE

Which one of you was

making fun of you?

LIL EDDIE

The big one there!

Lil Eddie points out BILLY (male, 8-12) the bully.

P. 4

RONNIE

How you fellows doing

today?

BILLY

What do you want fucker!

The four other kids laugh.

RONNIE

What!

BILLY

You heard me! I said

what do you want fucker!

You can’t hear, you retarded

or something!

The kids laugh once more.

RONNIE

You need to apologize to

my nephew!

BILLY

Fuck you and your tiny

ass nephew!

RONNIE

Does your mother know

you have a foul mouth

like this!

BILLY

I ain’t got no mama; but

my daddy will beat your

ass!

P. 5

RONNIE

I’m not going to stand

here and let an ignorant

lil brat like you insult me

and my nephew!

BILLY

Then what your long head

ass gone do about it!

RONNIE

Long head ass! You fat ass

bastard! I see why you

don’t have a mama; with a

face like that, I would have

run out on you fat boy in

the hospital. I’ll hate to

see your daddy, I bet he’s

a fat ugly motherfucker too!

The four kids say damn…all at once.

Billy yells out for his daddy.

BILLY

Daddy!!!

EXT – HOME – CONTINUOUS

BILLY’S DADDY (male, 30-40) exits his home.

BILLY’S DADDY

What is it boy!

LIL EDDIE

Damn he’s a fat ass!

P. 6

RONNIE

Come on, let’s haul ass!

Ronnie and Lil Eddie high tail it back down the street to their house.

INT – HOME – MOMENT’S LATER

Ronnie’s sister and Lil Eddie’s mother SHARON(female, 30-40) enters the home from work.

SHARON

I’m home…

Lil runs into the living room and greets his mother.

LIL EDDIE

Mama you should have been

there today!

SHARON

And where should I have

been today so exciting

Eddie?

LIL EDDIE

You know the fat kid Billy?

SHARON

That’s not nice Eddie; but

Billy the bully?

EDDIE

Yes, fat boy!

SHARON

Eddie I have told you about

talking about people!

P. 7

LIL EDDIE

Uncle Ronnie told him

off today!

SHARON

He did, did he!

LIL EDDIE

He sure did; and I bet Billy

won’t make fun of my

height ever again!

SHARON

And what did your Uncle

Ronnie do?

LIL EDDIE

Uncle Ronnie cracked on

his ass so bad, he called

his daddy to get us!

SHARON

Eddie what have I told

you about using such

foul language!

LIL EDDIE

It slipped mom!

SHARON

Where is your Uncle Ronnie?

LIL EDDIE

Up stairs in his room, hiding

in the closet.

SHARON

Hiding in the closet!

P. 8

LIL EDDIE

Yeah we both were hiding

in the closet from Billy’s

fat ass daddy!

SHARON

Eddie you itching to get

your ass whipped!

INT – ROOM – MOMENT’S LATER

Sharon enters Ronnie’s room.

Sharon opens Ronnie’s closet door.

Ronnie stands in the closet with toy bat in his hand.

SHARON

What are you going to

do with that bat?

RONNIE

Just protecting Lil Eddie!

SHARON

Come out of there! You

don’t have to worry about

Billy’s father!

RONNIE

You sure, cause that’s a real

big’on! He spread out every-

where you know!

INT – ROOM – MOMENT’S LATER

Lil Eddie sits in his room playing XBOX 360.

INT- DINING ROOM – CONTINUOUS

P. 9

Sharon and Ronnie sit at table.

SHARON

I thought you promised

me that you would start

any trouble?

RONNIE

I did, but that lil big fat

chicken mcnugget pulled

it out of me! He had it

coming!

SHARON

Billy is only a kid Ronnie.

RONNIE

I know, but the moment

I went down there, the

fat sucka said “what you

want fucker”; and he just

kept going! The moment

just got the best of me

sis.

SHARON

Your mouth has had us

run out of neighborhoods

in the past; and I like my

home here Ronnie! So no

more cracking on kids!

RONNIE

I promise I will not crack

on any more fat kids!

SHARON

No cracking on anyone; and

P. 10

SHARON (CONT’D)

when are you going to go

looking for a job?

RONNIE

The first Tuesday in this

month.

SHARON

That was yesterday.

RONNIE

Well I’m going to go looking

the first Tuesday of next

month.

SHARON

No you’re going to go

looking the first Thursday

of this month, which is

tomorrow!

RONNIE

Otay…

EXT – STREET – DAY

Ronnie see’s hiring sign on store window.

Ronnie enters the store.

INT – STORE – CONTINUOUS

STORE MANAGER (Asian female, 50-60) stocks the shelf behind the register.

STORE MANAGER

How can I help you; and

keep your hands where I

can see them!

P. 11

RONNIE

I saw the sign out front

that you are hiring for

stock help.

STORE MANAGER

You read wrong! We no

hire!

STORE MANAGER

I tell you, we no hire!

RONNIE

You do see that sign

right there!

The store manager walks from behind the counter, passes Ronnie and pulls the sign from out of the window.

Store Manager then walks up to Ronnie.

STORE MANAGER

You talk about this sign?

RONNIE

Yeah, that sign!

Store manager rips up the sign right in front of Ronnie.

STORE MANAGER

I tell you once before we

no hire, but I will pay you

50 cent to clean up this

mess!

RONNIE

Do I really look like a

janitor to you!

P. 12

The store manager pulls out Colt .45

STORE MANAGER

You be a dead janitor,

if you don’t make your

way out of my store!

RONNIE

I wanna talk to your manager!

STORE MANAGER

You talk to store manager

right here and I have itchy

trigger finger!

RONNIE

Say no more!

EXT – STORE – CONTINUOUS

Ronnie exits the store.

INT – STORE – CONTINUOUS

Store manager puts another hiring sign in the window.

EXT – STORE – CONTINUOUS

Ronnie watches as the store manager put new sign in the window.

RONNIE

And fuck you too!

Store manager runs out of the store with her gun in hand.

RONNIE

Oh shit!

P. 13

The store manager shoots at Ronnie as he runs off down the street.

STORE MANAGER

Your mama was the one

fucked! Ugly son of bitch!

INT – RESTAURANT – MOMENT’S LATER

Ronnie sits at table inside restaurant.

BIG BILL (male, 40-50) walks over to Ronnie’s table and gives Ronnie greasy application or yellow piece of paper.

Big Bill spits wad of tobacco into cup and then Big Bill coughs.

BIG BILL

Here go ma application.

I know it ain’t your

standard application, but

it works for Big Bill. Now

you gone fill out everything

and then ole Big Bill will

give you a grand tour of my

fine establishment.

BUM (male, 60-70) enters the restaurant.

BIG BILL

God dammit! Haven’t I

told you to never come in

here through the front

door! Bringing your dirty

ass in here when customers

eating!

BUM

But no one is eating!

BIG BILL

I see that, but can’t you

P. 14

BIG BILL (CONT’D)

see I’m conducting an

interview! Now back your

stank ass on up outta here!

BUM

Fuck you!

The bum exits the restaurant.

BIG BILL

Sorry about that son!

RONNIE

It’s ok.

BIG BILL

I don’t know what’s with

these damn bums now’a’days!

When you feed’um once, they

keep coming back like stray

ass alley cats! Anyway fill that

on out and then your tour.

INT – RESTAURANT – MOMENT’S LATER

Big Bill takes Ronnie on tour of the restaurant kitchen.

BIG BILL

In here is where I prepare

all my fine gourmet dishes

you have seen on the menu.

RONNIE

You only had three things

on the menu.

P. 15

BIG BILL

I know that! You didn’t

have to remind me, I made

the motherfucker!

RONNIE

I was just saying.

BIG BILL

Well don’t say!

RONNIE

What is that smell?

BIG BILL

Some new shit I’m gone

add to my three item

menu! Then there will

be four.

RONNIE

What is it? It smells like

shit!

BIG BILL

Here take a look.

Big Bill removes the lid to big pot.

RONNIE

I don’t see anything but

brown juice.

BIG BILL

It needs just a lil more

flavoring.

Big Bill spits wad of tobacco into the pot.

P. 16

RONNIE

That’s gross!

BIG BILL

It may seem gross to you;

but my customers gone

love it. Stir it up a lil bit

it won’t bite you.

Big Bill gives Ronnie ladle.

RONNIE

You sure it won’t bite? It

sure is stank!

BIG BILL

Gone stir it up, before the

Spices seep out into the air.

Ronnie stirs up the contents in the pot.

Big opossum head pops out from under the juices.

EXT – RESTAURANT – CONTINUOUS

Ronnie runs out of the restaurant screaming.

BIG BILL

I was gone hire him. I

guess he don’t want the

job.

INT – STRIP CLUB – MOMENT’S LATER

Ronnie sit’s in the office of MIKE CASH (male, 40-50) owner of Look but don’t touch strip club.

MIKE

Son today is your lucky

day! You walked in

P. 17

MIKE (CONT’D)

here at the right time!

RONNIE

I wouldn’t say today was

a lucky day for me! I’ve

been shot at and I saw

the most disgusting sight

you could imagine!

MIKE

All that is behind you!

When you walked in

“Look but don’t touch”,

you walked right into a

job!

RONNIE

What will I be doing?

MIKE

You will be doing everything

around here. You are going

to be my all around, all

purpose; you will be the man!

My new head custodian!

RONNIE

A janitor!

MIKE

You know how to sweep,

mop, and take out trash

don’t you?

RONNIE

Yeah but!

P. 18

MIKE

No buts, you have the job.

You will start tomorrow

night.

RONNIE

That’s rather fast!

MIKE

It’s Friday night and Friday’s

mean money! My name isn’t

Mike Cash for no reason!

Come here around eight

tomorrow night. You will

meet the rest of my staff then.

RONNIE

But…

MIKE

Here you go with those buts

again! Run along I have some

paper work to do.

EXT – CLUB – CONTINUOUS

Mike ushers Ronnie out the side door of the club.

MIKE

Eight sharp tomorrow.

RONNIE

But!

Mike closes the door in Ronnie’s face.

RONNIE

But I didn’t fill out an

P. 19

RONNIE (CONT’D)

application!

INT – ROOM – NIGHT

Lil Eddie stops Ronnie in the hallway.

LIL EDDIE

Uncle Ronnie you wanna

play the XBOX? I have the

new “Splinter Cell” game.

RONNIE

Not tonight Lil Eddie.

LIL EDDIE

You got a date with a girl?

RONNIE

Nope, I have a job and I

am going to work.

LIL EDDIE

You got a job!

RONNIE

That I do.

LIL EDDIE

Where at?

RONNIE

At this club called “Look

but don’t Touch”.

LIL EDDIE

What are you going to be

doing there?

P. 20

RONNIE

I am going to be…I am the

DJ. I gotta run and you

better not say anything to

your mother yet! I might

not like this job!

LIL EDDIE

My lips are sealed!

RONNIE

And put the top lock on

the door.

Ronnie exits the home.

Lil Eddie locks the front door.

Lil Eddie then runs into the kitchen.

INT – KITCHEN – CONTINUOUS

Lil Eddie grabs phone book out from drawer.

Lil Eddie sits on the floor and flips through the phone book.

Lil Eddie’s eyes widen.

LIL EDDIE

Ooh!!!

EXT – STREET – NIGHT

Ronnie walks to work.

RONNIE

Good thing this gig is

close to my house!

EXT – HOME – CONTINUOUS

P. 21

Sharon knocks on the front door.

INT – HOME – CONTINUOUS

Lil Eddie runs to open the front door for his mother.

EXT – CLUB – CONTINUOUS

Ronnie knocks on the side door of the club.

INT – HOME – CONTINUOUS

Sharon enters the home.

SHARON

Where is your uncle Ronnie?

LIL EDDIE

He’s gone Djing at the naked

lady club!

SHARON

He what?

EXT – CLUB – CONTINUOUS

Big titty LIZA (female 20-30) opens the side door of he club.

Ronnie eyes widen.

LIZA

Can I help you?

RONNIE

I am here for work, to

work, will work! I mean

Mr. Cash is expecting me!

P. 22

LIZA

You must be the new

janitor. Come on in

suga, the air out here

makes my nipples sing.

RONNIE

Tra la la…

INT – CLUB – CONTINUOUS

Ronnie follows Liza inside the club.

INT – OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

Liza and Ronnie enter Mike’s office.

LIZA

Sit right here suga and

Mike will be here shortly.

Liza exits the office.

RONNIE

Something freaky is going

on here!

Mike enters the office.

MIKE

I see you made it kid! You

don’t mind me calling you

kid do you?

RONNIE

It’s cool and who was that

chick?

P. 23

MIKE

That’s Liza, just one of my

many dancers. You are

going to meet the other

girls but first I want you

to go wipe down all the

tables.

RONNIE

Where are the rags and

all the cleaning stuff?

MIKE

Everything you will ever

need is right here in this

closet. This closet belongs

only to you kid. Mop, bucket,

broom, dust pan, rags, and

cleaning chemicals. This

closet is a janitors Heaven!

RONNIE

How much are you going

to pay me?

MIKE

I’m going to pay you more

than I would pay a cheap

Mexican peon! One very

important thing; you can

look at the girls but you

can’t touch them. You got

that?

RONNIE

I got it! I can look but I

can’t touch the girls.

P. 24

MIKE

You learn fast, now I need

you to get to cleaning!

INT – CLUB – MOMENT’S LATER

KITTY (female, 20’s) the dancer slides up and down pole on the dance stage.

Ronnie with broom in hand gawks at Kitty.

Mike walks up to Ronnie.

MIKE

I see you getting your

peek on!

RONNIE

Damn you got some bad

ass chicks in here! I never

knew this was a strip joint!

MIKE