Let Sleeping Dogs Lie: An Explication of Carolyn Kizer's "Bitch"
Nearly everyone has had the experience of meeting an ex-significant other in the supermarket, the dry cleaners, or the movie theater. What follows are a few awkward moments of strained conversation while you look for signs of bitter regret in the eyes of your ex. Carolyn Kizer's poem "Bitch" depicts such a meeting and shows the struggle with feelings of anger, repression, and desire for reconciliation.
The poem is a single stanza of 34 lines with irregular length and no rhyme. The first few lines set up the basic situation. The lyric speaker, presumably a woman, unexpectedly meets the man with whom she had had an affair (or perhaps her ex-husband or ex-lover). The affair is suggested by her references to his wife, children (with whom she apparently has no contact), and the indirect reference to "mistress" in line 17. Considerable time has passed since their breakup--they meet "after all these years" (1). The adverbs "Now" and "anymore" suggest that her current emotional state is significantly different from her earlier responses to a similar situation (1, 3). The ex is referred to simply as "he," rather than "my ex-husband" or by name, which suggests that he still occupies a central place in the speaker's mind (1). In line two the central symbol of the poem, the "bitch" of the title, is brought in to represent the speaker's inner self: "I say to the bitch inside me, don't start growling" (2). The poem relies on both meanings of the word "bitch": a female dog and a derogatory name for a disagreeable woman. The dog metaphor is extended throughout the poem, and the emotions expressed by the inner self are those traditionally associated with the "bitchy" woman--anger and emotional instability. What follows is three levels of discourse: what the lyric speaker tells us; what she says to her ex (set off by quotation marks); and what she says to the "bitch," her inner self.
The first emotion is anger. The bitch is represented as a guard dog who barks "hysterically" (6). The lyric speaker must remind herself that he is no longer a "trespasser" or an "enemy," words implying the depth of the resentment she felt earlier (3, 7). Nevertheless, the speaker's insistence that he is "Just an old acquaintance" seems forced (4). No one who produces such an emotional response is just an "acquaintance."
When the ex offers "a kind word," the emotions of the inner self change dramatically (10). Just as dogs who have been beaten will return to their abuser, the speaker's inner self begins to seek a reunion: "The bitch changes her tone: she begins to whimper. / She wants to snuggle up to him, to cringe" (11-12). The lyric speaker must violently repress her inner feelings: "Down, girl! Keep your distance / Or I'll give you a taste of the choke-chain" (13-14). A choke-chain violently exerts control over a disobedient dog and suggests the tension between the speaker's desire for reunion and her unwillingness to return to emotional dependence. She insists that she is "mistress" of the bitch, and that the dog is "basically loyal" (17).
The speaker begins to reflect on the causes of the bitch's instability. The part of her that wants her ex back selectively remembers the good times: "the small careless kindnesses / When he'd had a good day, or a couple of drinks, / come back to her now" (24-26). However, the speaker maintains control by noting the humiliation involved in the relationship, the "casual cruelties, the ultimate dismissal" (27). Some of the longest lines in the poem occur in this section, perhaps to reflect the freedom of memory rather than the controlled responses to either the bitch or the ex.
Throughout this bitter struggle with her feelings, the speaker has apparently maintained perfect poise in her conversation with her ex. Her speech to him is a series of polite, banal expressions that betray none of her inner emotional turmoil. She asks about his children (9), tells him that she is "Fine" (15), and even offers her regards to his wife (32).
In the end, the speaker triumphs over her inner self. She parts with a breezy farewell: "Goodbye! Goodbye! Nice to have seen you again" (34). Perhaps like the bitch who gags as she is dragged away, we too choke over the ironic contrast between the polite farewell and the emotional struggle we have witnessed.