Latte Boy / Stalker Chick (remixed by Anna and Tyler, 2009)
B = Boy, G = Girl
G: ______, the latte boy. Bring me java, bring me joy. I love him, I love him, I love him! Every day, at exactly 8:11, I see him and he says…
B: Hey, how’re you doin’?
G: And I say, “Awesome! I mean, fine.” One day, as he was getting me a coffee and a pastry, I said “Hi, I’m _____, and he said…
B: Hi.
G: And I said, “Hi, I’m ____!” and he said…
B: “Hi, I’m _____. I gave you extra foam.”
G: And I said, “Thanks. Thanks for the extra foam.” So yesterday as he was flipping the lever on the cappuccino machine, he made my double latte a triple. And I knew this triple latte meant ______loved me too! And he said…
B: “Keep your money. It’s on me.”
G: The triple latte was on him! And then he looked at me in that sexy Starbucks apron of his and said…
B: “Want to come to my band gig, downtown at Serda’s. I play guitar.”
G: (gasping) ______, the latte boy. Bring me java, bring me joy. I love him, I love him, I love him!
B: ______, the stalker chick. You scare me, you scare me, you scare me. Today at exactly 8:11, you pounded the counter and screamed…
G: ______, the latte boy. Bring me java, bring me joy. I love him, I love him, I love him!
B: ______! What’s the matter with you?!
G: I love you.
B: I could get fired!
G: Who would’ve thought love could be so caffeinated?
B: You are too clingy? I’m embarrassed to be with you!
G: But ______, the latte boy…
B: Is calling the police!
G: (sobbing) All I wanted was you, ______! You’re the caffeine to my latte!
Security drags girl out.
Original lyrics to Taylor, the latte boy
There's a boy who works at Starbucks
Who is very inspirational.
He is very inspirational because of many things.
I come in at 8:11, and he smiles and says, "How are you?"
When he smiles and says, "How are you?"
I could swear my heart grows wings!
So today at 8:11
I decided I should meet him
I decided I should meet him
In a proper formal way.
So today at 8:11 when he smiled and said "How are you?"
I said "Fine and my name's Kristen"
And he softly answered, "Hey."
And I told him "my name is Kristen, and thank you for the extra foam"
And he said his name was Taylor,
Which provides the inspiration for this poem:
Taylor the latte boy,
Bring me java, bring me joy!
Oh, Taylor the latte boy,
I love him, I love him, I love him...
Well I'd like to get my nerve up
To recite my poem musical
He would like the fact it's musical
Because he plays guitar.
And today at 8:11, Taylor told me he was playing
With a band down in the village in the basement of a bar.
And he smoothly flipped the lever to prepare my double latte,
But for me he made a triple! (And he didn't think I knew)
But I saw him flip the lever, and for me he made it triple,
And I knew the triple latte meant that Taylor loved me too!
I said, "What time are you playing? And thank you for the extra skim..."
He said, "Keep the $3.55," because this triple latte was on him.
Taylor the latte boy,
Bring me java, bring me joy!
Taylor the latte boy,
I love him, I love him, I love him...
I used to be the kind of girl
Who'd run when love rushed toward her.
Till finally a voice whispered, "Love can be yours,
If you step up to the counter and order.
So many years my heart has waited,
I love him, I love him, I love him...
Who'd have thought that love could be so caffeinated?
Taylor the latte boy,
Bring me java, bring me joy!
Taylor, the latte boy,
I love him, I love him, I love him.
Oh, I love him, I love him, I love him.
Original Lyrics to ______, the Stalker Chick
There's a girl who comes to Starbucks
and i think she has a crush on me
I can tell she has a crush on me
that’s too big to ignore.
She comes in here every morning
at exactly 8:11.
When the clock says 8:11,
she comes walking through the door
Then one fateful Monday morning
as she made her usual entrance,
I could tell that she was nervous and she had something to say.
And i smoothly flipped the lever
to prepare her double latte
and she said her name was “______”
and I came back with "hey".
And I said my name was Taylor
and here's a little extra foam.
As she left, I cleaned her table
and I found a folded napkin with this poem:
Taylor the Latte Boy
bring me java, bring me joy.
Oh, Taylor the latte boy -
I love him
I love him
I love him!
So i should have got’n my nerve up
and just said I wasn't interested,
but since she was clearly interested
it all got out of hand.
‘Cause before I found her poem,
we had had this conversation.
I had told I was playin’
in the village with my band.
When I walked in Friday evening
to our gig in Arthur’s basement
I saw _____ in the front row
and I heard her scream my name.
Then my friend said, “Man, she’s crazy.
She's been here since 7:30,
and she told me she's your girlfriend,
and she's really glad she came.”
And then when our gig was over,
she followed me the whole way home.
As I ran to try and lose her,
I composed another version of her poem.
______, The Stalker Chick -
You’re a psycho and you’re sick.
Oh, _____, the stalker chick
you scare me
you scare me
you scare me!
I used to be the kind of guy
who never was rude or doubting,
but now I've got this lunatic freak in my life.
Every night now at my window, she's shouting
“Taylor! the latte boy!”
“Go away, I’m not your toy!”
“Taylo,r the latte boy!”
…”is calling
is calling
the police!!”
Many a girl has let me court her,
but I've never needed a restraining order.
______! come find me now!
I'm transferring to a new Starbucks.
There's 20 on each block!
So…… gooooooooooood luck!