Enya Geldmacher Klasse 10g
Still I hope?
Is it the right way? Is it what I want? I do not know anymore for what I’m walking this long way, far away from home. At the beginning I thought fighting for peace must be the right way, the USA know what they do. But now I think “fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity”, isn’t it? My “friends” with which I learned to fight- are they really friends? Aren’t my really friends at home? Gradually I knew my brothers in arms taught me to hate, my friends at home showed me love. I am scared to loose them, my good friends at home. Now I am scared to live in this world of war in a land which isn’t mine. I didn’t know anyone in this land I am fighting against and anyone in the land which started this long war.
A few years ago, at the beginning of war, I thought it is not for so long and everyone will be proud of me. But how could someone be proud of somebody who killed innocent people, women and children? What will my little children think about their father if they are a bit older? Freedom has to be something else. To me freedom is the sound of birds singing in the trees, but with guns you just kill the birds. I do not want to destroy the things I like any longer. It just lets me hate- hate everyone including myself. Is there a beam of hope? Or is there just darkness? I am not living in a normal world anymore, I am living in a big bubble, which does not let anything come in and thoughts could not get out.
Am I perhaps already dead for a country I never cared of before?