ELEVATINGMINISTRY:

FosteringLifeGivingRelationshipsinPastoralCare

Self Study Workbook

Mary Wells, ©2011
Introduction

This workbook has been prepared to compliment the seminar ELEVATING MINISTRY: Fostering Life Giving Relationships in Pastoral Care.

Since 1989, when the Ad HocCommittee on child sexual abuse by priests or male religious wascreated at the annual Plenary Meeting of the Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops, the Canadian church has expressed deep concern and sympathy for victims of sexual abuse committed by Church personnel. Concerned also for Catholics in those dioceses where these abusive acts had taken place, the bishops requested the Committee give priority to such issues asthe long-term prevention of sexual abuse, the care and support for victims and their families, and the rehabilitation and future of offenders.

The Canadian church has acted pro-actively to respond to allegations of misconduct, seeking truth, showing compassion and care for victims, and firmness to those in ministry who have transgressed.

The bishops in 1989 expressed their deep commitment to prevention. Today’s seminar provides an opportunity for persons providing pastoral ministry to understand how misconduct can harm ministry, to be aware of the situations that can lead to misconduct and to consider how misconduct can be deterred.

What is Sexual Misconduct in Ministry?

What kinds of breach of personal boundaries in ministry constitute “sexual misconduct”?

SEXUAL MISCONDUCT’ is an over-arching term that encompasses

‘sexual abuse’

‘sexual exploitation’ and

‘sexual harassment’

Sexual Abuse

Sexual abuse may be any kind of activity that is defined in law as:

  • “Criminal” under the criminal code of Canada, or as
  • “Child abuse” under child protection legislation

CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE MUST BE REPORTED!

Sexual Exploitation of a Ministerial Relationship

Sexual exploitation is any kind of sexual contact or invitation to sexual contact, between an adult with whom there is a fiduciary relationship, and a professional or member of clergy or anyone in a position of authority or power over the subject of the exploitation. Exploitation may include to other forms of breach of trust such as financial exploitation or spiritual exploitation

Sexual Harassment

Harassmentis unwelcome conduct that interferes with an individual’s performance of duties or creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive environment. It is an unwelcome action by any person whether verbal or physical on a single or repeat basis which humiliates or degrades.'Unwelcome' in this context means any action which the person harassing knows or reasonably ought to know, is not desired by the person being harassed. Harassment may include any form of discrimination as set out in human rights law.

In Canadian human rights law, harassment is defined as unwelcome conduct that interferes with an individual’s performance of duties or creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive environment.

It is an unwelcome action by any person whether verbal or physical on a single or repeated basis which humiliates or degrades.

Fiduciary Duty in Ministry

Society’s expectations of the fiduciary responsibilities of pastoral ministry

The general public sees pastoral ministry as a relationship of trust and holds persons in ministry to a high standard of conduct. In simple terms, persons in ministry both profess and teach a standard of morals and behavior. Persons in ministry are reasonably expected to practice what they preach and the public has low tolerance for ministers whose behavior deviates from the norm they preach. Ministry is a relationship of trust where the person in ministry is expected to maintain appropriate boundaries in relationships. The public sees violation of this trust as a fundamental betrayal. There is a social norm that expects that betrayal of a ministerial relationship, especially sexual misconduct, should be deterred through some form of consequence to the perpetrator and their supervisors, and that victims of misconduct should be recompensed for the harm they have suffered.

Effects of Misconduct on the Community of the Faithful

The community of the faithful is made up of conventional believers and mature believers. Conventional believers see no distinction between the person in ministry and the symbol that, as Tillich said, points to all that is sacred. Mature believers have a more complex awareness of the priest as both person and symbol and can accept that the priest has human needs and vulnerabilities.

In everyday life, persons in ministry encounter people from this range of beliefs and expectations. Any person taking on pastoral ministry accepts responsibility in these relationships. This includes not only maintaining personal boundaries, but also recognizing and accepting that a ministers’ individual actions affect not just them and those with whom they directly interact, but also may affect other persons in the ministry, the ministry itself and the community of the faithful as well as those outside the Church.

Discussion:

•Talk about a public situation where transgression of ministerial boundaries has had wide ranging effects.

•Thomas Aquinas (II – II, Q, liii,a.1) says scandal is a word or action, evil in itself, which occasions another’s spiritual ruin. Discuss the impact on personal faith of scandals arising out of boundary transgressions.

•Discuss why silence and secrecy are ineffective approaches to limiting scandal. Consider the statement that “The ideal breeding ground for the development and repetition of child sexual abuse is a general conspiracy of silence,motivated by the fear of scandal and of major repercussions for the institutions directly or indirectly concerned.” (Report to the Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops From The CCCB Ad Hoc Committee On Child Sexual Abuse, 1992)
ADDRESSING PARISH TRAUMA IN THE AFTERMATH OF A SEXUAL MISCONDUCT DISCLOSURE

Mary Wells, BAS, BSW, RSW, 2010

Discovery that a religious leader has been involved in sexual abuse can have a devastating effect on the parish. For example research conducted in 1992 with 1810 committed American and Canadian Catholic leaders (1013 laity, 391 sisters, 46 deacons, 10 brothers, 314, priests, 36 other) yielded the finding that the majority were not satisfied with the response to incidents of child-clergy sex abuse. They were most dissatisfied with not being kept informed and wanted this to be dealt with in a more open manner. Confidence in leadership declined. [1]

In addition, active lay people who were exposed to a disclosure of sexual abuse in their parish expressed significantly decreased trust, support, satisfaction and confidence in the priesthood and the church. “The closer the incident, the greater the harm done”.[2]

Why is there such a profound effect on a parish community when clergy sexual abuse is discovered?

Sexual abuse involves complex dynamics of:

- betrayal of trust

- disempowerment

- stigmatization

- sexual traumatization [3]

When sexual abuse is committed by a person in a position of trust, the dynamics of abuse spill out into the parish community. The parish leadership team, laity employees and volunteers may feel betrayed and unsure about who they can trust. They may feel helpless and insecure. Their commitment and loyalty are undermined. They may feel ashamed or embarrassed for being associated with the abuse and are angry about this. They may feel deeply uncomfortable in having to confront sexual behaviours that have been previously not discussed openly or comfortably. The risk that there may be other, unidentified victims is a source of great anxiety.

This discomfort can lead to a wide range of feelings. Reactions may include denial that the abuse occurred, to intense anger at not only the individual perpetrator and (ironically) the victim, but at the organization itself. There is typically a spectrum of responses that reflects each person’s way of coping with a severe sense of threat. This range of response is shown on the continuum below.[4]

______→______→______→______

denial ‘Half-belief’ but prefers Struggling to believe Rage so entrenched

to avoid and conduct and tries to find that there is no wish to

business as usual constructive response restore healthy functioning

In addition, there is tendency to deny or speculate about the allegations, to defend the perpetrator, to blame the victim or the victim’s parents. It is not unusual for a parish to polarize severely and to split into factions to have large numbers leaving the parish and/or the church altogether.

All of the effects described above can be described as responses to a traumatic event: the disclosure that a trusted religious leader had engaged in sexual abuse. Early intervention can reduce the impact of the trauma of disclosure of sexual abuse.

Following are some key elements in effective crisis intervention in a parish after a disclosure of sexual abuse.

Attendance of the Bishop or Delegate at parish or place of ministry

Intervention by a trained response team

Group discussions with parishioners and parish staff and clergy

Critical incident stress debriefing

Key messages that the Bishop and response team should give to the parishioners

Acknowledge the situation is causing pain and upset

Confirm all involved are being offered support

Discourage speculation and taking sides

Be kind to one another

Critical incident stress debriefing can be offered by the response team in a small group discussion format:

Team leaders introduce selves and explain purpose of session

Ask participants to briefly review facts as they know them

Ask participants what was you first thought when you heard about this

Ask participants what is the worst thing about this for you personally

Let participants describer how has this affected them (symptoms of stress)

Team leaders explain and normalize these symptoms of traumatic stress response and offer information about stress management

Leaders provide explanations, information, handouts

Refreshments should be served during and after the discussions

Leaders should expect one to one interviews during refreshments

The response team should expect to make follow-up phone calls, visits, and provide ongoing advice and consultation to the leadership team of parish.[5]

This kind of active, response when provided by a well trained response team, can reduce the traumatic effect of disclosure of abuse.

The current international outpouring of rage at disclosures of sexual abuse in the Church are in large part a predictable reaction to discovery of bad management and cover ups. By addressing the problem openly and directly, by acting appropriately in dealing with abusers, and by informing and supporting congregations where abuse has occurred, much unnecessary collateral damage can be prevented.

Relationships Within the Clergy Community

The Right of Persons in Pastoral Ministry to be Free from Exploitation

Maintaining appropriate boundaries within the clergy community is a delicate matter that requires ongoing reflection and discernment since multiple roles layer and overlap. The Bishop’s role is inherently fiduciary because of his decision making and disciplinary powers, and his duty to both serve and lead the community if the faithful. He also has responsibility for ensuring that the diocese is a safe and healthy environment, productive of growth and lacking in toxic elements. However the members of the clergy share responsibility for this and are all expected to participate in responsibility for maintaining the positive life of the clergy community.

As persons enter the pastoral ministry, those who are senior to them are responsible for encouraging, informing, and creating community. At the same time, the senior members are expected to model appropriate boundaries between fraternity and invasiveness, sharing relationships with the whole community rather than monopolizing; freeing, rather than dominating.

As relationships among person in pastoral ministry grow and develop, part of the ongoing discernment involves ensuring that the relationship not only is within appropriate parameters, but also that the persons in the relationship are fully comfortable. All have responsibility for maintaining safe boundaries.

If relationships in the community of persons in pastoral ministry become coercive or toxic, they may constitute harassment or exploitation.

PRESERVING BOUNDARIES IN THE MINISTERIAL
RELATIONSHIP

Person in ministry need to be well aware of and attentive to theirindividual personal and professional health. In particular, they should have insight into their personal history, their sense of psycho-integration and clear sense of the boundary between their personal and professional self.

Consider the following checklists to see if there are areas in your life where you where you give some special attention

PERSONAL HISTORY:

  • Does my personal or family history include abuse, alcohol and drug abuse or any other family dysfunction?
  • Am I coming to terms with the issues and feelings involved in my personal history? Am I able to identify areas in my history that need healing?

PSYCHO- INTEGRATION:

  • Have I discussed my history with someone (a professional or friend)?
  • Am I comfortable with my sexual orientation?
  • Do I monitor my fantasies for inappropriate objects such as children, clients, parishioners, employees, etc.?
  • Are my personal friends and intimate relationships appropriate, namely age appropriate and not involving anyone with whom I have a ministerial relationship?
  • Am I able to identify my emotional/ needs and meet them appropriately?

PERSONAL - PROFESSIONAL SELF:

  • Am I meeting my personal needs outside of my work setting?
  • Do I acknowledge the power inherent in my professional role?
  • Am I aware of the effects of that power on those with whom I interact?
  • Do I remain alert for the potential for violating boundaries due to that power?
  • Am I aware of the consequences to me and my place of ministry of violating the boundaries?
  • Do I have consultation or supervision in which I can discuss these questions?

Basic Tips for Preventing Situations Where Misconduct Can Arise

  • If you are making a home visit, inform a member of your parish team where you are going and when you expect to be back.(ALL parish team members have an obligation of confidentiality).
  • Your rectory and your home are private places. They should not be an open door at all times.
  • Meetings with parishioners should be scheduled at appointed times during posted office hours.
  • When in contact with minors, another responsible adult must be present at all times.
  • Follow diocesan rules for screening of volunteers and insist that all parish organizations do so as well.
  • Never allow alcohol at functions for minors. This includes a no alcohol rule for adult volunteers at youth functions.
  • Any youth camping programs must follow strict screening and supervision requirements. Alcohol is not to be allowed at youth camp activities. This rule includes the adults.
  • Be alert to misguided attempts to reinterpret the rules. For example, there is no difference between a volunteer and “mentor”.
  • When you think a situation marks the exception to the rule, it most likely is the time when the rule should be followed strictly.
  • When in doubt, call for help. The diocesan office and the child protection authorities can help you with many questions.

Some Final Thoughts

Jesuit Stephen Rossetti in “A Tragic Grace” describes how the clergy sexual abuse scandals, while causing a crisis in the Church, have forced a new awareness. As we become alive to paradox and the truth in apparent contradiction, we can still accept them as channels of grace. In this maturity, the Church has begun to open doors to conversation and disclosure that were previously closed. The devastation of victims paradoxically shed light of the intensity of their faith. The abuse scandals affected priests and religious and caused a drop in morale. But this can be transitory if it is not transformed into a foundational morale with a more fundamental sense of identity and affiliation.

Through this presentation and the discussions it is our goal to elevate our ministry, not simply by being careful and aware about personal boundaries, but by ensuring that all of our relationships are founded in dignity, respect and Christ’s teachings about ourselves and our neighbours.

Case Examples for Discussion

Discuss these case examples

Father K.

Father K., was pastor at a large suburban parish full of young families. Deacon J. was a teacher at the local CatholicHigh School and supervised the parish youth ministry. The leader of the youth group asked to speak to the pastor in confidence and revealed that Jenny, a 14 year old member of the youth group had confided to him that Deacon J. frequently kept her after class to “pet” and kiss.

What should the pastor do?

Answer:

  1. Call child protection authorities immediately.
  2. Call the diocesan office in charge of the diocesan misconduct policy and inform the official in charge that the report has been made
  3. Do NOT advise Deacon J. of your calls. To do so may be interference with a criminal investigation. The civil and diocesan authorities have protocols they follow in this kind of circumstance.

********
Father B.

Father B. is pastor in a suburban parish with a fulltime parish secretary. Joan is 35, widowed two years ago when her fiancé was killed in a car accident. Father B. met Joan through her fiancé's funeral and offered her the secretarial position when it came open a few months later. Father B. helped Joan through her mourning and along the spiritual journey to acceptance of God’s will in her loss. Joan has felt increasingly close to Father B. and he himself is attracted to her genuine and giving nature. Father B. hasn’t been getting much support from his community lately and he is feeling isolated, lonely and yearns for intimacy. He is aware that if he indicated to Joan the possibility that their relationship could turn in a romantic direction, she would willingly go along with him.

Discuss the trust Joan has developed in Father B.

  1. If Father B. developed an intimate relationship with Joan would it constitute a.) sexual abuse, b.) sexual exploitation of a fiduciary relationship, or c.) sexual harassment?
  2. Is she able to give full and free consent to a romantic relationship with him?
  3. Who has the responsibility for maintaining appropriate boundaries in the relationship?
  1. If Father B. wanted to talk this over with you, how would you respond?
  1. Would it be appropriate for Father B. to try to talk this over with Joan? What are some things Father B. can do to help himself in his struggle with this issue?
  1. Is firing Joan a reasonable solution to the problem?

Answers: