Industrialism DBQ Mistakes and Things to Work on
Issue 1. Addressing all parts of the question:
Question: Identify the issues raised by the growth of Manchester and analyze the various reactions to those issues over the course of the nineteenth century.
This question requires you to address two different issues in your thesis statement. First, you needed to IDENTIFY the issues raised by the growth of Manchester. Secondly, you needed to ANALYZE the various reactions to the issues THAT YOU ADDRESSED! If you did not do both of these things in your thesis you did not receive a point.
Acceptable thesis: Some of Manchester's issues at the time included overpopulation, an increase in poverty, and horrible working conditions. The reactions of some of the people during this time were more on the passive side, but others sought to protest and reforms were made in favor of the workers as a result.
Not Acceptable thesis:During the 19th century Manchester industrializing led to great poverty in the city as well as terrible working conditions for the labor class.
Issue 2. Placing documents into at least THREE groupings
From now on, you must absolutely be placing the documents into at least three groupings. In order for something to count as a grouping your paragraph must include a reference to AT LEAST TWO documents. You will not receive the point if you do not do this. In order to receive a point you must also include a SPECIFIC reference to the document. Please reference Issue 3 if you are having issues with specifically referencing documents.
These were some examples of groupings that you could have included in your paper.
Issue 3. Including specific references to the documents
When referencing the documents, it is important to reference something specific. YOUR REFERENCE MUST PERTAIN TO WHAT YOUR GROUPING IS ABOUT. If you do not include a specific reference, it does not count toward the use of the majority of the documents.
Appropriate: The actual benefits produced by the growth of Manchester and the growth of industry were questioned. The rise in industry had many effects on the dynamic of Manchester and England as a whole. Robert Southey, an English romantic poet, documented that, "a place more destitute than Manchester is not easy to conceive… frequent buildings among them as large as convents, without the antiquity, without their beauty, without their holiness, where you hear from within the everlasting din of machines" (Document 2). The growth of industrialism has birthed the growth of Manchester and it is due to this growth of industry that Manchester became a darker place than it had originally been.
Not Appropriate: Perhaps all the citizens are to blame for the state that Manchester was put in. Documents 1, 8, and 11 visually show us what the city became during the time.
Issue 4. Analyzing POV and Bias
This was the issue that kept many of you from scoring higher than a 5. POV and Bias are difficult to incorporate into a paper but must be done in order to achieve a higher score on the DBQ essay. We will work on this much more in the future. There were several issues with POV and bias. Most of you chose to completely ignore analyzing the bias of the authors and the documents. This is an easy way to gain no higher than a 5 on your essay.
Some of you tried to address POV and bias in the following ways:
"Romantic poet Robert Southey describes Manchester as being 'blackened with smoke'"
The use of the phrase "romantic poet" is not enough to be considered a reference to POV and bias. In order for this to count toward a reference of POV and Bias, it must include a discussion on WHY being a romantic poet is significant toward presenting bias.
For example, "Though Southey paints a clear picture of the negative aspects of industrialism, it is important to recognize that his portrayal of industrial Manchester may have been biased due to romantics tendency to favor a more natural state.
Appropriate use of POV and Bias:
Wheelan and Co. states, "Perhaps no part of England… presents such remarkable and attractive features as Manchester, the workshop of the world." This company is glorifying the city that has turned into a working factory and are blind to the people being affected by the changes only because they (the companies) are the only ones benefitting directly.
You must focus on these common mistakes if you are to perform better on your DBQ's. Many of the issues presented here are also commonly present in your FRQ's.