I'm Wearing My Wedding Ring, Said Tom with Abandon

Tom Swifties

· "I'm wearing my wedding ring," said Tom with abandon.

· "Who would want to steal modern art?" asked Tom abstractedly.

· "I gave the donkey some vinegar," said Tom acidly.

· "There's room for one more," Tom admitted.

· "It's a unit of electric current," said Tom amply.

· "My investments are worth more every day," said Tom appreciatively.

· "I'll take that," said Tom appropriately.

· "It's between my sole and my heel," said Tom archly.

· "You have the right to remain silent," said Tom arrestingly.

· "Give me a haircut," Tom said barbarously.

· "I'm losing my hair," Tom bawled.

· "I've only enough carpet for the hall and landing," said Tom with a blank stare.

· "" said Tom blankly.

· "Sure I can climb cliffs!" Tom bluffed.

· "I fought with Geronimo," said Tom bravely.

· "I presented my case to the judge," Tom said briefly.

· "Use your own toothbrush!" Tom bristled.

· "Yes, I have been reading Voltaire," Tom admitted candidly.

· "I've been to a film festival in the South of France," said Tom cannily.

· "It's a bloody lion," said Tom categorically.

· "Another batch of shells for me!" Tom clamored.

· "I was completely exonerated," said Tom clearly.

· "Don't add too much water," said Tom with great concentration.

· "The prisoner escaped down a rope," said Tom condescendingly.

· "I organized that big party for the prisoners," Tom confessed.

· "Those cobs are amazing!" said Tom cornily.

· "We steal things together," Tom corroborated.

· "Give me some pre-packed cheese slices," said Tom craftily.

· "I dropped the toothpaste," signaled Tom, crestfallen.

· "I'm dying," Tom croaked.

· "The situation is grave," Tom said cryptically.

· "Don't let me drown in Egypt!" pleaded Tom, deep in denial.

· "I was removed from office," said Tom disappointedly.

· "I want this statue to look like the Venus de Milo," said Tom disarmingly.

· "I like listening to records at night," said Tom disconsolately.

· "That certainly took the wind out of my sails!" said Tom disgustedly.

· "I'll never give up my hounds!" Tom said doggedly.

· "The radio reception is much better now," said Tom ecstatically.

· "Emily has put on weight," said Tom emphatically.

· "I had no luck at all at the races," Tom endorsed.

· "Let's get married," said Tom engagingly.

· "I get in through the window after opening it with this crowbar," said Tom enterprisingly.

· "Time flies," said Tom entomochronometrically.

· "What a charming doorway!" said Tom, entranced.

· "Eureka!" said Tom to Archimedes. "I think you ought to take a bath.".

· "I wouldn't marry you if you were the only woman on earth," said Tom evenly.

· "I'll tempt Adam tonight," she said evilly. (*2)

· "I've changed my name to Al," said Hal, exasperated.

· "I've lost my gold mine!" Tom exclaimed. (*2)

· "I have no underwear," Tom said expansively.

· "My former wife is cute," said Tom expertly.

· "I used to be a paratrooper," Tom explained.

· "I don't want you delivering my mail any more - it never arrives on time," Tom expostulated.

· "Elvis is dead," said Tom expressly.

· "I used to command a battalion of German ants," said Tom exuberantly.

· "I'm trying to get some air circulating under the roof," said Tom fanatically.

· "Get the stick, Rover!" Tom called fetchingly. (*2)

· "That's OK!" said Tom finally.

· "This is the Netherlands," Tom stated flatly.

· "This steamroller really works," said Tom flatteringly.

· "I'm falling into a void," said Tom flawlessly.

· "I've joined the navy," Tom said fleetingly.

· "Watch this insect sail through the air," said Tom flippantly.

· "I'm about to hit the golf ball," Tom forewarned.

· "I won't finish in fifth place," Tom held forth.

· "Ignore the first three turnings," said Tom forthrightly.

· "I bought myself fifty hamburgers and I've only ten left," said Tom with fortitude.

· "I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.

· "Is your name Frank Lee?" Tom asked frankly.

· "We have no bananas," Tom said fruitlessly. (*2)

· "I didn't see that French 'No Smoking' sign," fumed Tom defensively.

· "Mmmmmm mmmmmmm," Tom gagged.

· "That young insect is female," said Tom gallantly.

· "I'm from a Humberside port," said Tom ghoulishly.

· "This house is in good taste!" said Hansel and Gretel gingerly.

· "Look at those tall flowers," said Tom gladly.

· "I was absolutely vitrified," said Tom with a glazed look.

· "This food tastes of plutonium," said Tom glowingly.

· "For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful," said Tom gracefully.

· "My wife is dead" said Prince Rainier gracelessly.

· "Would anyone like some Parmesan?" asked Tom gratingly.

· "Happy Halloween!" Tom said gravely. (*2)

· "My shins are well protected," Tom grieved.

· "Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess," Tom began grimly.

· "I don't like the sand which is in the sandwiches," said Tom grittily.

· "It's become much bigger," said Tom with a groan.

· "This game is foul," Tom groused.

· "I'm three feet taller than I was yesterday," said Tom gruesomely, up the yard.

· "You must be my host" Tom guessed.

· "I don't have a boyfriend," said Mary guilelessly.

· "It's just gold leaf," said Tom guiltily.

· "I like Germany," was Tom's gut reaction.

· "I can't march any more!" the soldier called haltingly. (*2)

· "I've still got two fingers left," said Tom handsomely.

· "Oh, stop talking about the Dreyfus case. Don't you like the colour of my eyes?" asked Esther hazily.

· "I only have diamonds, clubs and spades," said Tom heartlessly.

· "I've been to San Francisco" said Tom heartlessly. (*1)

· "Dinna wave that axe aboot, Jimmy!" said Tom heedlessly.

· "It's my maid's night off," said Tom helplessly.

· "I was the first to climb Mount Everest," said Tom hilariously.

· "My extreme emotional instability arises from a psychoneurosis," hissed Eric.

· "Nay!" said Tom hoarsely.

· "I have to keep these eggs warm," Tom chirped honestly.

· "I want to buy that big diamond," Tom said hopefully. (*2)

· "Have a ride in my new ambulance," said Tom hospitably.

· "The doctors had to remove a bone from my arm," said Tom humorlessly.

· "I cut off the bottoms of my levis so they wouldn't drag in the mud," said Tom hygienically.

· "That's an ugly hippopotamus!" said Tom hypocritically.

· "I see," said Tom icily.

· "This is a sick bird," said Tom illegally.

· "This bird has no beak," said Tom impeccably.

· "I brush my teeth ten times a day," said Tom implacably.

· "That little devil didn't tell the truth," Tom implied.

· "I want you in the navy," said Tom impressively.

· "I'm burning aromatic substances," said Tom, incensed.

· "Happy 4th of July!" said Tom independently. (*2)

· "He's a boring chap," said Tom indulgently.

· "May I become a chorister?" Tom inquired.

· "Don't let me drown in Paris!" pleaded Tom insanely.

· "I'm not leaving the chapel until I finish this painting," said Michelangelo insistently.

· "I've borrowed my sister's camping gear," said Tom insistently.

· "I'm sailing near the Isle of Wight," said Tom insolently.

· "I like camping," said Tom intently.

· "I've mixed up my gloves," Tom said intermittently. (*2)

· "This is my assessment," said Tom irately.

· "It's my personal magnetism," said Tom ironically.

· "His Honor is crazy," Tom admitted judgementally. (*2)

· "I'd like chicken soup with matzo balls and gefilte fish," said Tom judiciously.

· "My parents are called Billy and Nanny," Tom kidded.

· "I've run out of wool," said Tom, knitting his brow.

· "I deny everything," said Tom knowingly.

· "I have no recollection of the last twenty-four hours," said Tom lackadaisically.

· "No ellipses, parabolas or hyperbolas," said Tom laconically.

· "I refuse to make an agenda," Tom said listlessly. (*2)

· "I never play any music by Hungarian composers," said Tom listlessly.

· "It's where we store the hay," Tom said loftily. (*2)

· "I always pray to St. Ignatius," said Tom loyally.

· "I chop down trees for a living," said Tom lumberingly.

· "I'm Scottish," said Tom macabrely.

· "I'm just going to put these handcuffs on you," said Tom manically.

· "It's only average," said Tom meanly.

· "According to this sonograph, the average frequency of my voice is 160 Hz," said Tom in measured tones.

· "I've got to fix the automobile," said Tom mechanically.

· "A million thanks, Monsieur," said Tom mercifully.

· "We in the Conservative Party believe in having a good time," said Tom meritoriously.

· "Perhaps I will," said Tom with all his might.

· "It's hard work arresting that girl!" said Tom, laboring under a misapprehension.

· "Do you call this a musical?" asked Les miserably.

· "The girl's been kidnapped," said Tom mistakenly.

· "I'm tired of smiling," moaned Lisa.

· "My stereo's half-fixed," said Tom monotonously. (*2)

· "I want a motorized bicycle," Tom moped.

· "We'll need a higher price at auction," Tom said morbidly. (*2)

· "The sun is rising," Tom mourned.

· "Another work week begins," said Tom mundanely. (*2)

· "Mama is German," Tom muttered.

· "I didn't mean to have my cheek pierced," said Tom mysteriously.

· Naughtily, Tom said nothing.

· "I haven't developed my photographs yet," said Tom negatively.

· "This decay wasn't there before," said Tom neurotically.

· "That just doesn't add up," said Tom, nonplussed.

· "Can you read music?" the bandleader asked notably. (*2)

· "What's the value of a dollar bill?" asked Tom noteworthily.

· "What's a wide-angle lens?" asked Tom obtusely.

· "That horse looks like a good bet at 17 to 1," said Tom oddly.

· "Do you buy and sell stolen goods?" asked Tom offensively.

· "My wrists are bleeding stumps!" said Tom offhandedly.

· "I prefer trout to salmon," Tom said officiously.

· "It's half a score," Tom said often.

· "My bicycle wheel is damaged," said Tom outspokenly.

· "I have had too many children," said Mary overbearingly.

· "I've swallowed some glass," Tom said painfully. (*2)

· "I had an accident in the kitchen," said Tom with panache.

· "I've joined the Airborne Medical Corps," said Tom paradoxically.

· "Ici nous voyons le tour Eiffel!" Tom parried.

· "I've deduced that this is the right way," said Tom pathologically.

· "I'm waiting to see the doctor," said Tom patiently.

· "I wish I had something to write with," Tom said pensively. (*2)

· "I can do an excellent impression of Sinatra," said Tom, being perfectly frank.

· "Has my magazine arrived?" Tom asked periodically.

· "I need to clear my throat," said Tom phlegmatically.

· "3.142" Tom enumerated piously.

· "Who's your favorite operatic tenor?" Tom asked placidly.

· "I've removed all the feathers from this chicken," said Tom pluckily.

· "Where shall I plant these water-lilies?" Tom pondered.

· "I haven't had any tooth decay yet," said Tom precariously.

· "I'm here - with a gift!" said Tom presently.

· "I'm just an ordinary soldier," Tom admitted privately.

· "I teach at a university," Tom professed.

· "I know where Jack Nicklaus is," said Tom profoundly.

· "I'm in favor of mechanization," said the promoter.

· "I've dyed my hair green and stuck a pin through my nose," said Tom punctually.

· "The cat seems happy now it's been fed," said Tom purposefully.

· "Are you homosexual?" Tom queried gaily.

· "This is where I keep my arrows," said Tom, quivering.

· "This is the fastest way to get drunk," said Tom quixotically.

· "Have you ever been whitewater rafting?" Tom asked rapidly. (*2)

· "What are these berries?" Tom rasped.

· "I'm embarrassed," Tom admitted readily.

· "I can see naturally," Tom realized.

· "There it is again!" Tom recited.

· "I've never had an accident," said Tom recklessly.

· """Said Tom recursively," said Tom recursively," said Tom recursively" said Tom recursively.

· "Nice looking glass!" said Tom reflectively.

· "It's time for the second funeral," Tom rehearsed.

· "I've gone back to my wife," was Tom's rejoinder.

· "Superglue!" Tom rejoined.

· "We did it twice last night," she relayed.

· "OK, you can borrow it again," Tom relented.

· "I love hot dogs," said Tom with relish.

· "I've transferred my money back into my German savings account," Tom remarked with interest.

· "I've passed the exam this time," Tom remarked.

· "That is remarkable," remarked Tom.

· "I've paid my annual subscription," Tom remembered.

· "I've gone back to using my maiden name", said Mary remissly.

· "I'd better repeat that SOS message," said Tom remorsefully.

· "My garden needs another layer of mulch," Tom repeated.

· "I'm taking this ship back into harbor," Tom reported.

· "Must I show again why this is true?" asked Tom reprovingly.

· "I mailed it to you again," Tom said resentfully. (*2)

· "I suppose I'll have to write my name again." said Tom resignedly.

· "I'm not a crook," Nixon said resignedly. (*2)

· "It's a piece of laboratory equipment," Tom retorted.

· "My oar is broken," said Tom robustly.

· "Balls!" Tom said roundly.

· "I can't eat any more of this bitter herb," said Tom ruefully.

· "What's the name of that street in Paris?" asked Tom ruefully. (*2)

· "I've an urgent appointment," said Tom in Russian.

· "I need a home run hitter," Tom said ruthlessly. (*2)