Here Are Five Poorly Written Leads. Rewrite Each One to Keep It Short and to the Point

Lead Writing

Here are five poorly written leads. Rewrite each one to keep it short and to the point.

a. Prof. Michael Hosokawa of Rutgers University, an authority on Native American people and their social customs, will be the featured speaker at Montville Township High School’s next assembly Friday, Oct. 21. The title of his speech will be “How We Can Help Preserve Native American Life.”

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b. Hey, out there. Someone isn’t returning his library books. Students owe a total of $723 in fines for this year alone.

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c. The mighty Montville Township High School Mustangs take on conference weak-sister Caldwell this Friday. Make plans for your victory party now. The win will give MTHS their third straight Morris County Conference title.

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d. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to stroll the streets of Tokyo and Hong Kong? Are you curious about the Orient and dying to see it? For senior Scott Campbell, the dream is about to come true. Scott has been selected to study for a year in Tokyo under a new program sponsored by the Montville Civic Club.

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e. “Live every day to its fullest. Learn something new each day. Enjoy life.” That’s the philosophy of Edward Ross, history teacher, who announced this week that he is retiring from Montville Township High School at the end of this year after 38 years on the faculty. He also believes, “Teaching here was the best decision I ever made. Leaving here is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”

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Here are materials for five stories. Write a lead for each one.

a. The Montville Township High School drama department is going to stage a play. The play will be performed Dec. 12 and Dec. 13 in the Main Auditorium at 7:30 p.m. The play will be “Sweeney Todd: Demon Barber of the Barbary Coast.” Brent Snow, a senior, has been chosen for the title role. The audience will be encouraged to participate by booing and hissing at the performers. Rehearsal starts Monday, Oct. 12. Both drama classes will help stage the show. Sponsor and director of the play will be Helen Mays, head of the drama department.

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b. Enrollment at Montville Township High School is up this year from last year. Last year, the school had 1,200 students. This year, enrollment is 1,350. Most of the increase seems to be in the freshman class, the principal said. He added that he was “delighted” by the increase. “The more the merrier,” he said. He also said the school’s budget goes up with its enrollment. “We can always use more money,” he said.

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c. A Montville Township High School student has been selected as a finalist in a national contest to design a poster for the Drunk Driving Awareness Campaign. His name is Jim Bishop, and he is a senior. Asked about his reactions to being chosen, Bishop said, “I am thrilled, delighted, happy. This is a real honor for me and the school.” His poster previously had been declared the regional winner. The national first place winner will get a $1,000 scholarship for college.

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d. Journalism advisor Jennifer Kilanowski and 10 students from the Montville Township High School Podium attended a conference at Columbia University on Nov. 4-5 sponsored by the journalism department of Columbia. Total attendance was 300. Journalists and journalism professors from all over the state also attended. Results of the yearly contest for high school journalists were announced. The Podium was declared the best newspaper in the state for the third straight year. Ms. Kilanowski said of the award, “I could get used to this.”

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