Heartbeat 2000 Extreme Discretion
Parenting for Survival in a New Millennium
PROFILE
Seminar Leader: Heath Peloquin
Heath Peloquin is married to Jennifer (our own former Jenny Stork) and is the father of Emily Grace, with another little Peloquin on the way. Heath is a graduate of Mary Hardin-Baylor. After serving as youth minister at Dogwood Baptist in Athens, Texas, Heath surrendered to the call of full-time evangelism. God is blessing the ministry with many student sand adults coming to know Christ as Savior. We have seen and heard God use Heath in mighty ways.
Heath currently leads a collegiate Worship and Bible Study on the campus of Mary Hardin-Baylor. He also leads our monthly Common Ground Worship Celebration for students.
Heath’s desire is to have parents leave the seminar with hearts full of encouragement to parent in a Biblical manner rather than heads full of information that can’t be used on Monday.
SEMINAR OUTLINE
Friday
7:00 Registration
7:30 Opening Session –
McNuggets of Truth - ancient truths applied in a microwave culture.
8:15 Session –
Email or IM - relational communication skills in an on-line, wired,
electronic world.
Saturday
9:00 Session –
Everybody's Doing It - setting boundaries in wide open spaces.
10:15 Break
10:30 Session –
They Might be Giants - how to Spiritually equip teens in the family context.
Heartbeat 2000 Extreme Discretion
Parenting for Survival in a New Millennium
McNuggets of Truth - ancient truths applied in a microwave culture.
Proverbs 22:6
I Timothy 4:7
Titus 2:4
I Corinthians 11:1
If you would tell a younger parent one thing you’ve learned from being of a (Middle School – High School) student, what would you tell them?
Heartbeat 2000 Extreme Discretion
Parenting for Survival in a New Millennium
Email or IM - relational communication skills in an on-line, wired, electronic world.
Deuteronomy 18:15
John 10:27
Acts 3:22
Proverbs 12:15
1. Creating methods to communicate that effectively their hearts attention.
Goal: to win their minds, hearts, souls to the person of Jesus Christ
Becoming an effective listener. – to discover the art of good listening that earns the right to be heard.
2. Carting Communication - creative methods of communication
Goal: to engage in effective communication
3. Maintaining vibrant lines of communication – How to use your listening to in turn build active and positive talk-back session with your students.
Heartbeat 2000 Extreme Discretion
Parenting for Survival in a New Millennium
Everybody's Doing It - setting boundaries in wide open spaces.
Ephesians 6:1
Colossians 3:20
II Timothy 3:2
Romans 5:8
Mark 12:30
Galatians 5:22
I John 4:16
Why tough love?
-to embrace God’s heartbeat about setting boundaries, discipline guides, and consistency in the student’s life.
1) Clear , communicated up front, understood by all.
2) Logical for violations. Don't protect teens from the
of their behavior.
3) Age-appropriate and of rules.
4) Gentle enforcement without .
5) Remain on rules even when faced with whining, tantrums, or rebellion.
6) Never discipline in . Take time to cool down and clear the head.
7) Show and whenever possible.
8) If all else fails - !
Heartbeat 2000 Extreme Discretion
Parenting for Survival in a New Millennium
They Might be Giants - how to Spiritually equip teens in the family context.
Ephesians 6:4
Exodus 4:12, 18:20
Deuteronomy 4:9
Like 11:1, 12:12
1)Memorize scripture as a family
2)Have a family devotional time.
3)Pray together. Sing together. Worship together.
Goal: to disciple your student from home.
To implement “spiritual moments” in the lives of your student by showing leadership in regular church attendance, student ministry activities involvement, a daily devotional time, and creative prayer times.
Heartbeat 2000 Extreme Discretion
Parenting for Survival in a New Millennium
Help! I’m the Parent of a Teenager – support in the transition process.
The Spouse Relationship
Victim of neglect in the preschool years and teen years.
Share interests – continue to cultivate your relationship – let them know.
Protect each other – keep personality conflicts out of child rearing.
Home Styles
Romper Room – FBI Headquarters
Discipline Process
Cool Room
Interrogation
Discussion (explanation – quiz – pass or fail)
Corrective Action
Prayer
Affirmation
Communication
Begin Early
On their Terms
Rescue Operation
Cultural Relevance
Some involvement in their world, on their terms.
Know what is out there, know what they are in to.
Parents of Teens
Evaluate Parenting for Survival Seminar.
Valuable?
Improve?
What can we do next time?
How can we follow up & continue?
RESOURCES
Parenting Newsletter – Spring 2000 (article advertising the seminar)
In 1999 after a successful Heartbeat in which we saw God touch the hearts of our students, our evaluations suggested a Heartbeat for parents. We stuck that idea in the file and began to plan for a very special Heartbeat 2000. The more we talked and prayed, the more excited we got about providing a time for parents to experience the same growth opportunity and personal discipleship our students enjoy so much.
Accompanying Heartbeat, April 27-30 we are offering a parenting seminar, Parenting for Survival in a New Millennium. The media reports often make us wonder if the family will survive this millennium. It seems as though all of society is bent on destroying the family as we know it. Yet, this is nothing new! Families have always struggled with the culture around them, it has never been easy to raise kids, and more importantly, it has never been easy to raise righteous kids. However, there is hope.
There are timeless truths found in Scripture that can guide families in daily choices. There are other families willing to share resources, offer support, and even pray for each other. There is a network of experienced parents and godly leaders willing to come along beside families who are struggling and encourage those who are "doing just fine."
Our goal in this seminar is to share information and connect parents in relationships that will help us together grow strong families. Not all families face the same struggles, but all families have access to the Creator and his operations manual. The important issue in parenting today is to realize we are not alone.
The topics covered include several very relevant issues. McNuggets of Truth - ancient truths applied in a microwave culture. Email or IM - relational communication skills in an on-line, wired, electronic world. Everybody's Doing It - setting boundaries in wide open spaces. They Might be Giants - how to Spiritually equip teens in the family context. A part of each topic will be asking questions and shared responses.
Our special Guest, Heath Peloquin will be facilitating this seminar. Parenting for Survival in a New Millennium will take place on Friday, April 28, from 7:30 - 9:00 PM and Saturday, April 29, from 9:00 - 11:30 AM. The registration fee is $10.00 per family. Registration forms are available in the Worship Center or the back of this newsletter.
It’s a Whole New Millennium! (article from my message on True Love Waits)
We have been faced with tragic situations in recent years in which teens are harming and even killing each other. Names like Columbine, Wedgewood, and even Smithson Valley were once names for peaceful, protected places to live. They are now representative for what is wrong with teens, and strike fear into the hearts of parents. Then the startling fact from researcher George Barna, Christians are no different from the rest of the population, showing the same or higher rates of adultery, divorce and suicide. These issues and more related to raising teens splash across the headlines, gain readership, and stir an uncomfortable discontent with life as we know it. What is a parent to do?
Schools are doing the most to deal with teen issues, primarily because it effects their funding. Community service organizations are second in level of effort, and this in spite of attacks by religious organizations. Churches as a whole are doing little to address real world concerns (however, since True Love Waits began, teen pregnancy is significantly dropping). Parents are doing the least, yet we find parents are in the position to do the most.
Parents are afraid of losing their children, so become "friends," avoid discipline, give in to anger and whining, and are in essence turning children loose in a cruel and abusive world ill equipped to fend for themselves.
However, this is more than a parenting issue. When an epidemic strikes, when a disaster occurs, the entire community is affected, and all get involved in the solution-government, schools, community organizations, churches and people (even parents and teens). We are faced with an epidemic. This means we respond as a community to address the disaster, to meet needs, bandaging wounds, repairing infrastructure, and restoring services.
Londa and I stand with you, not as an ideal, not as perfect parents for we face the same struggles. The struggles over discipline and rules, over clothes, over money, over wanting to be accepted by a peer group. In fact, we sometimes face it more because as church leaders we have to show your child love and acceptance even when they are violating the very things we are taking a stand on with our own teens. We have made the necessary sacrifices because teens are worth it!
We are happy to report there has been a major turnaround in Thousand Oaks this past year. Today we are seeing more parents directly involved in the lives of teens. That involvement is more than "quality time" -- it is a serious commitment to sacrifice what is necessary to insure this generation survives. Thousand Oaks has a strong group of parents showing interest and willing to be involved - even some stepping in to mentor and encourage my teens - for which Londa and I say a hearty Thank You! This kind of shared involvement will go far in preventing tragic situations.
Environmental Filters (article)
The environment is a hot issue today in media and social concern. The preservation of clean air and pure water tops the list of worry for the future. However, much more critical and gaining little attention is our social environment. This is the environment we live in, work in, and raise our children in.
Just like an air filter processes the flow of air and removes impurities, so the family filter processes culture and removes impurities that would harm our children. The filter of the family environment gives children a context to understand what is being seen around them. The family functions to help children catch what is good and pure, and remove what is negative and harmful.
The family is critical in passing on values, both spoken and observed. Children seldom grow up and make a drastic change in the values received from their parents. Thus, it is important that families provide values that are solidly based and consistent in application.
Loving acceptance is a primary environmental issue for families. Children need to hear and see that they can make mistakes and be forgiven. They need the security that acceptance provides. They need firm rules with both natural and logical consequences, provided in the context of loving acceptance (Hebrews 12:4-11). In this way, children develop an understanding of salvation.
Respect is another environmental issue. Children need to grow up being trained to respect others and respect the creation around them. The family is the place this is caught as children are respected and see respect being modeled.
Finally, children need to grow up seeing their parents value character over material possessions. This means saying a resounding "NO!" from time to time to those appealing things in our culture that would pollute our social environment.
Communication Issues (article)
Remember those "family talks" growing up? I dreaded them then, I despise them now. Thinking back, I believe the best discussion with my folks took place over a game of one-on-one hoops or while doing supper dishes. Those informal times accomplished much more than the "family talk."
Being known as a parent who is "cool" often just means having a set of ears that listen well, and a mouth that speaks the truth in love. Valuable in family communication is providing a time to talk and the environment that encourages discussion.
To a teen, love equals time. Families need to have routines that allow discussion. That time could be while driving, playing, or doing routine tasks. The importance can be found in being together. Parents can maximize this time by listening and following up with questions. Once more details are discovered through questions, it can help to have teens pass value judgements on the events of their day, the situations observed, or the items discussed. This can be accomplished by asking, "How do you feel about…" Careful listening demonstrated by follow-up questions earns the right to be heard.
An open environment is provided by avoiding immediate or wrathful judgements. Often, maturing teens need to get a thought or an idea out in the open just to hear how foolish it is, so they won't go on thinking that way. Further questioning or repeating back phrases can stimulate deeper thought.
Finally, there are points where teens expect and adult to clearly state something is right or wrong. That is speaking the truth in love after earning the right to be heard.
Discipline Issues (article)
Discipline is an unpopular topic for both parents and children. The teens years are especially difficult as "betweenagers" make the transition to adulthood. However, simple, yet effective guidelines remain consistent with principles of discipline from childhood.
1) Clear boundaries or rules, communicated up front, understood by all.
2) Logical consequences for violations. Don't protect teens from the consequences of their behavior.
3) Age-appropriate adjustment and application of rules.
4) Gentle enforcement without threats, bribes or coercion.
5) Remain firm on rules even when faced with whining, tantrums, or rebellion.
6) Never discipline in anger. Take time to cool down and clear the head.
7) Show grace and mercy whenever possible.
8) If all else fails - Pray!