Alex Piner
WRTG 3020
July 15, 2011
First Draft Personal Essay
“Freeze! Get down on the ground!” These were the six words that marked the end of my airsoft career.
Airsoft guns are replica firearms that shoot plastic pellets (also known as BBs) by way of compressed gas or a spring-driven piston. In high school, my clique went through a phase where we would fire our airsoft guns at will whenever and wherever we got the chance- on the way to school, on the way home from school, drive-by shootings in front of Starbucks, on my cul-de-sac, hiking trails, etc[AS1]. I remember multiple times when my brother and I would drive home from basketball practice with our windows down minding our own business, our friend Matt would pull up beside us and begin to open fire and always connecting with a shot to my right cheek. We would weave in and out of traffic for miles shooting at one another with half of my body sticking out of the passenger window, desperate for revenge and to make a welt on Matt’s flesh[AS2].
I will never forget how thrilling these couple months of my sophomore year of high school were. There is nothing like being a young and reckless teenager with no real regard for the law. To this day I can’t believe that my parents would buy these dangerous toys for me, - a teenager with reckless abandon and no common sense. My airsoft gun arsenal would make Rambo blush- it consisted of an Uzi, an AK-47, a shotgun, and a gas-powered pistol[AS3].
One day our airsoft crew decided to engage in battle on the secluded (or so we thought) bike trails a couple minutes away from my house. My brother Max and our friends Jeff, Jules, Matt, Nick, and myself were all set with our respective weapons and ready to wreak havoc[AS4]. Just when the festivities were about to begin I noticed a man and his toddler daughter walking up the trail. I panicked and yelled, “Conceal your weapons!” and threw mine in the tall shrubs on the side of the trail. Everyone else followed suit and we all stood awkwardly, pretending we were taking a break from a long hike. I said to the man, “Hello sir great day for a hike isn’t it?!” He gave me a blank stare and continued to walk, putting his head down and increasing his speed slightly. We collectively breathed took a sigh of relief as we could finally start inflicting pain on one another.
We were somersaulting, jumping, diving, ducking, and dodging bullets in the heat of battle. I spent several minutes circling around the arena, patiently waiting to sneak up on Nick. When the moment came and I had him at point blank range, a deep, commanding voice shouted, “Drop your weapons! Freeze! Get down on the ground!” I looked to my right only to see a police officer pointing his 9mm glock[AS5] right at my domepiece. I felt a couple drops of pee drip down my leg; I felt paralyzed and my lungs seemed to have collapsed, as I couldn’t breathe. Lying there face-down in the dirt while being frisked by a cop, I saw my life flash before my eyes[AS6].
The cop told us that he got an anonymous call that there were six men with guns on the Limestone Trail. “Son of a bitch!” I shouted in my head, realizing the man who walked by with his daughter snitched on us. The officer also said, “You boys are lucky y’all had them orange tips on them guns, or else I would’ve been forced to shoot this boy right here (pointing to my black friend Matt).”
My brother and Jeff were put in handcuffs because they were 18 and were the drivers. We were all let off with a warning, but I have not laid a finger on an airsoft gun ever since that dreadful day[AS7].
[AS1]I don’t think etc is necessary here, you name a lot of places, I say either omit etc or name more places.
[AS2]I like this part! Very vivid picture!
[AS3]I’m not totally sure what this means?
[AS4]Good word usage!
[AS5]Maybe just gun would be okay here?
[AS6]Hahaha great description!
[AS7]This is a great story, I love all your descriptions. A few suggestions I have is to maybe embellish the stories a little more like Nathan said we could do. Maybe something like there were 10 cop cars surrounding us! We had nowhere to go, nowhere to hide! We were surrounded!