Lesson 37—March 6, 2017
W1 (WRITING); SL1 (COLLABORATION)
E? WHY SHOULD MY EVIDENCE BE AIR-TIGHT?
- 2nd, 3rd, 4th
- IR Time (20 min)
- Writer’s Workshop: Revisions
- Evidence. When writing, our evidence must prove, support our claims
1.Choose evidence that is air-tight
2.If evidence doesn’t support claim, find new evidence. If there is little or no evidence, find a new claim.
3.Elaborate! Don’t assume that your reader understands everything. Provide context. (See example page below)
4.Practical value: when we make proposals to an employer, to investors, to parents, they are more likely to be accepted; when we are trying to get someone to accept our view and change or when we can evaluate and reflect on our beliefs we can become better people.
- Revising
- Evidence practice. See Google Classroom.
- Students should make revisions. Focus on grammar & mechanics, quotations and citations, and evidence.
- Homework: Printed rewrites due Tuesday.
ELABORATING/EXPANDING ON IDEAS
WHITED
LIT/COMP
Elaborating (or expanding) means to add details, as to an account or idea; clarify the meaning of, to go deeper, to make more rich in meaning, to give additional or fuller treatment.
One theme in Mean Girls is that people are afraid of not being accepted. One expert writes that “young people are often petrified of standing out; all their talk of being unique is simply a façade. They only say this because others are chanting the same mantra” (Simpson 83). What the expert is saying is that a lot of times young people are scared to death of being different. When a person says “I want to be unique”, it is not actually what he wants. The likely truth is that he wants to fit in more than he wants to be different because life is hard for those who are truly different.
One theme in Mean Girls is that people are afraid of not being accepted. Herbert Simpson, an expert in social psychology, writes that “young people are often petrified of standing out; all their talk of being unique is simply a façade. They only say this because others are chanting the same mantra” (Simpson 83). What Simpson is saying is that a lot of times young people are scared to death of being different. He uses the word “façade”, which is another word for a mask. A mask is something that is not real. It is used to make a person appear as someone or something else. Simpson also uses the word “mantra” which is a chant or prayer that is often memorized and spoken in unison by a group of people. Simpson’s point is clear. When people say “I want to be unique”, it is not actually what they want. The likely truth is that they want to fit in more than they want to be different because life is hard for those who are truly different. This can be seen in young people in this country. In most school buildings, people follow the same trends, like the same things, and speak the same way. When someone doesn’t fit that mold, that person is usually considered weird. In Mean Girls, some of the main characters are a troop of young ladies who find it very important to be at the front of the trends by standing out as fashion and social leaders. They think of themselves as unique because of this. However, each of these girls looks and acts almost just alike, thereby making them the opposite of unique. This is evidence of the primary theme in Mean Girls.
TEXT EVIDENCE
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LIT/COMP
STUDENTS, ALWAYS MAKE SURE YOUR EVIDENCE SUPPORTS YOUR CLAIM! There are few things more devastating to a person’s “case” than when he/she presents weak evidence that is not clearly linked to the “charge”. Look at the example #1 below.
When humans die, they are not really “dead”; their souls continue to live on in one of two places—Heaven or Hell. When people get to heaven they have no worries because they are alongside God. When people die and are sent to Hell, they are doomed to infinite punishment. There is evidence of this in the Bible. In the book of Hebrews it says“And just as it is reserved for men to die once, but after this to receivejudgment, so also the Christ was offered once for all time to bear the sins of many.”(Hebrews 9:27). This means that God will make a judgment on whether to bring them up or to send them down to Hell. In the Bible it also says “And he said to him, “truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise”(Luke 23:43). This is saying that God is telling him that he has chosen him to live with him in heaven which is the ultimate paradise. Another passage that proves this is in the book of Revelation. It says “But as for the cowardly, faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death”(Revelation 21:8). This is saying that those people that he doesn’t choose to go to heaven will go to hell. There are many more text examples in the Bible.
TEXT EVIDENCE
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LIT/COMP
Now, look at example #2 below. Compare it with the example #1. See if you can identify the differences.
When humans die they simply cease to exist. In the Bible there is a passage that says that the “dead know nothing at all” (Ecclesiastes 9:5). This verse is saying that when people die, they no longer know anything. Their thoughts do not continue. All brain activity ceases. Therefore, if a person cannot “know” pain or pleasure, it would be impossible for him to enjoy life in some other place. According to the Bible the first man, Adam, returned to the dust when he died. God said to Adam in Genesis that as a punishment for his sin that his work would be very hard“until you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken.For dust you are and to dust you will return.” (Gen. 3:19). So, according to this verse, Adam’s punishment was exactly what God had earlier said it would be: death. Likewise, the book of Ecclesiastes further confirms this when it says “there is an outcomefor humans and an outcome for animals; they all have the same outcome.As the one dies, so the other dies; and they all have but one spirit.So man has no superiority over animals…All are going to the same place.They all come from the dust,and they all are returning to the dust (Ecclesiastes 3:19, 20). Another text that supports this is in the book of Romans. It says that a person who dies is “acquitted of” his sins (Romans 6:7). The word acquitted means “pardoned”. A person’s death is the punishment, or payment owed, for his sin. Once that payment is paid, the debt is canceled so to speak. Therefore, there is no further punishment for sin after a person dies. The evidence clearly shows that when a person dies, he simply stops living.
Of course, a person might think “What? That’s it?”, which is understandable. The good news is that, according to scripture, there is a hope of something more. In the book of Acts, the Bible says that some people will get a resurrection (Acts 24:15). The word resurrection literally means “standing up again”. So, what this passage is saying is that when people die they can stand up again, or live again. God is the one who decides whether a person is brought back to life or not. In fact, the Bible records several resurrections, thus providing a solid basis for believing that the dead will be raised up. These can be found at 1Kings 17:17-24;Luke 7:11-17;John 11:39-44. Also of note are the words of Jesus, a 1st Century teacher and Son of God. One time he was given a message that his good friend had died. He told his followers that he was going to go to his “friend [who had] fallen asleep” toawaken him” (Luke 11:11). His disciples thought Jesus was saying that Lazarus, his friend, was sick. However, Jesus “said to them plainly: “Lazarus has died” (Luke 11:14). This passage shows that even Jesus recognized death as a state of sleep that a one could be roused from. On this occasion, Jesus brought his friend back to life. So, death is the end of life, but according to the Bible it is possible for a person to have life returned to him.