TEACHING BUSINESS STUDENTSTO USE THE CIRCLE OF AGREEMENT
Irina Yaroshevich
School of Business and Management of Technology of BSU, the Republic of Belarus
Have you ever considered why not all the conversations you are engaged in on a daily basis turn out the way you expect, or contribute to organisational performance? Why do they frequently produceunsatisfactory, unexpected or unwelcome outcomesand are sometimeseven confrontational?
Let’s say you, as a boss, a supervisor, etc. need to have a word with your employee about their bad behaviour towards another employee.In order to communicate more effectively, I suggest that you use the so-called ‘circle of agreement’ which basically consists of 3 major steps.
Step 1.Ask them politely to have a word with you.Makesure it is opportune to discuss the matter at this very moment. Remember you should always be polite, positive and calm when you start a conversation.No imperatives like ‘Listen, come into my office, I need to talk to you’ should be used.
Here are some typical introductory phrasesyou might want to use to start a conversation:
-Have you got a minute? I just wanted to have a quick word with you.
-I hear you had a problem with …
-You know, I was thinking perhaps we could discuss ...
Step 2.Raise the problem and listen carefully to what they are going to say. Try to understand themotives behind their actionsin the firstplace,what drove them to behave like that. This is of primary importance, as it usually allows you to stay calm, think carefully and find the strong, convincing and powerful arguments in favour of your point of view.
Step 3.Vocalize their feelings, how they feel and why. This way you will show consideration, thoughtfulness and impart wisdom. It is always possible to understand what makes them tick. Say you totally agreethat it is quite possible to feel that way, and always mention why. Remember to be polite and diplomatic at all times, avoid using imperatives and being too straightforward and dogmatic.
If you get it right, it will make them be open and frank with you instead of being hostile and getting defensive. Do you agree that we tend to warm to people immediately and always appreciate it when they seem to understand how we really feel?
Here are some typical phrases to be used:
-I do understand why you feel that way as …
-I quite agree with you here because …
-I presume I would also get cross if I were you since …
Step 4.State you disagree with thembeginning with one of the following adverbs: however/ nevertheless/ nonetheless/ on the other hand/ still/ then again/ yet/ although, etc. Mind you, it is not advisable to use ‘but’because firstly, it is considered to be a nuisance for many people and secondly, you might directly contradict yourself.
You should always use reasoning at this stage, be understanding, kind, polite and helpful to your employee.
Here are some examples:
-I understand that as …, however ...
-I presume I would also get cross if I were you, yet, I think perhaps you should be more careful about how you … .
-I quite agree with you here because …. On the other hand, you could maybe ...
-… you might want to think about why …
-… it seems to me that ...
-Well, I understand that, and I appreciate that you work hard … . Nevertheless, don't you think you might …?
Step 5.Enjoy the result.
If you’ve done everything right, then the outcome may come as a complete surprise for you. By following these simple steps you can turn a bad situation into a good one and boost your reputation as a professional. Moreover, you will gain the respect and stronger commitment of your employees.