By Sara Essner, Anna Christakos, Mandy Koch and Brandy Hodges

Help Me Dr. Hathaway

Performed to Britney Spears’ Hit Me Baby One More Time

Oh Chemistry

From the first day I walked into 148

I knew it was just starting.

There were two plates, full of confusing papers

I took one as instructed.

Alkanes, alkenes and alcohols

Amides and esters

What the heck are those I don’t have a clue

Hydrolysis and oxidation,

Hydrogenation and reduction reduction

These reactions could make me fail

But I won’t let them

Please help me Dr. Hathaway

Oh that IUPAC sure made up some crazy rules

Look for the longest carbon chain.

Then find a group is it iso- or tert-butyl

If you’re guessin’ so am I.

Now don’t forget to alphabetize your groups

Keep on going, there’s still the numbers Oh no not the numbers

I can’t remember which end to start from

Priorities can be so confusing

Which one goes first, I’m not really sure

Alkenes or Alcohols

Please help me Dr. Hathaway.

Oh Chemistry

Ah yeah yeah

Organic Chem it was hard to comprehend

Organic Chem it’s so sad we’re at the end

Oxidation and reduction come a little easier now

But I still might need some help

But I always know at nine on Friday I can Say

Please help me Dr. Hathaway

Nights before tests I can’t help but think

Will this test be ungodly long

But I always know that if I get stuck

I can go to the desk and say

Please help me Dr. Hathaway

Oxidation and reduction come a little easier now

But I still might need some help

But I always know at nine on Friday I can Say

Please help me Dr. Hathaway