Princess Power
Wife of Saudi Ambassador Sheds Light on Women’s Roles in Kingdom
by Gail Scott
At the Saudi Ambassador’s Residence, an expansive McLean, Va., estate overlooking the narrow Potomac River above Chain Bridge, the first thing you’ll see on the black entrance gates is the traditional Saudi emblem: a palm tree above green and gold crossed swords. Then, you might notice that the landscape and architecture are not Arab but strictly American brick colonial. In fact, the manicured formal gardens remind you of George Washington’s home in Mt.Vernon, only an hour’s drive down the river.
But getting inside, even for staff and expected guests, is not easy, as visitors are met with a serious security check (mirrors under the car, inspections under the hood and in the trunk) every time they arrive.
After 10 minutes, I was instructed to follow the meandering drive up the hill where I found a hidden parking lot full of children’s bikes, from a dramatically colored Batman bike to a pink and purple princess bike with streamers—much like what you’d find on many suburban driveways.
Once inside the impressive brick home, I was officially welcomed by Virginia Forbes, an Englishwoman who has been the family’s private assistant for the past 25 years. Although the marble-floor foyer with sparkling chandeliers is grand, it wasn’t until we entered the Moroccan Room that I felt like I was truly in “The Kingdom,” as everyone from Saudi Arabia refers to their country. With no fanfare, Princess Nouf bint Fahd bin Khalid al-Saud appeared, shook my hand, smiled warmly and offered me some tea. Virginia remained, and soon a charming young Saudi public affairs officer, Abeer Alsobahi, joined us.
The princess, with a beautiful face and handsome hairdo, was dressed in a comfortable crème-colored sweater set and matching slacks. I quickly became disarmed by her quiet kindness and jolliness—she loves to laugh. I had heard that Princess Nouf, a member of the Saudi Royal family of 600, has been quietly but steadily seeking change for Saudi women, especially within diplomacy, and does so with the full support of her husband, Saudi Ambassador Prince Turki Al-Faisal. Before her husband became ambassador to the United States in September 2005, he served in the Court of St. James as Saudi Arabia’s highest representative to the United Kingdom.
It was in London that Princess Nouf took the initiative to create a women’s section within the Saudi Embassy—the first of its kind worldwide. The purpose was both to support the Saudi community in the United Kingdom and to introduce to the British public the vital and active role of Saudi women within their own society. This women’s section also played a major role in conferences and seminars in collaboration with LondonUniversity’s School of Oriental and African Studies, Women in Business International, and various Arab women’s organizations. “In Washington, I don’t need to start a women’s section,” the princess said. “We already have so many wonderful young women working within the embassy here doing important jobs. But I do try to give them all the support I can. We meet often and they know they can always ask me questions.”
Here, Princess Nouf is an active member of Mosaic, the well-established charity created by the wives of Arab ambassadors. “And I’m currently working on outreach initiatives to encourage greater understanding between the people of Saudi Arabia and the United States of America,” she added, noting that she hosts educational events at her residence with local groups such as the Junior League of Washington as well as in local schools to raise awareness of her country among younger Americans. She believes this work is especially important after Sept. 11, 2001. “I was shocked when I saw it [the terrorist attack on the WorldTradeCenter] on TV. Everybody was shocked. No one believed it. At first, I thought it was a horror movie. It has been very hard for all of us, especially here. Our students are just now coming back to study in the States. That’s why our outreach to Americans is so necessary.”
She continued: “Sept. 11 was an attack on us as it was on you. Your memories will be sad but wonderful memories of beloved ones who died on that day. The sympathy of people from all over the world will always remain with you. Our memory of that day will remain as the cruel deed of 15 of our young men who committed that atrocity. That is a burden which we shall bear forever.”
Her American audiences often ask what it’s like to be a Saudi woman in a monarchy built on a male hierarchy? Do Saudi women always wear veils? When will they be able to vote and even drive a car? Are marriages still arranged? I asked many of the same questions too. “I want Americans to know that women in Saudi Arabia don’t have everything, but women there will,” the princess said. “Things are changing, but we have to do it our way…. Every day there are new opportunities for women. “We have more Saudi female graduates from college than men. And more and more, the most valuable woman is the woman with a job,” she added. “Everyone is becoming more open-minded and economics is helping. Women get equal pay for the same jobs as men.”
In the Saudi Foreign Service, although there are no female ambassadors yet, there are currently 36 women holding important positions in Saudi embassies worldwide. Interestingly, a married Saudi woman who works can keep all of her earnings for whatever she wishes. Her husband is completely in charge of paying for her and their family. As for traditional dress, the Princess explained, “I cover my head but I have never covered my face. Outside my home [and in pictures], I wear a hejab [scarf] and an ‘abaya,’” she said, referring to the caftan-like robe that is often black but can be sheer and is worn over other clothing like an outer garment. The abaya opens down the front and is more like a light covering than a dense robe. There are different styles for different times of day, with heavy embroidery and beaded ones for the evening. The latest Saudi fashion trend is bright abayas, which are especially popular with younger Saudi women.
“My mother and all my family wear them,” the princess said. “And I would feel wrong without a hejab and abaya. It is our Saudi identity.” She noted that although she does not cover her face, the majority of Saudi women do. Virginia offered another advantage to the abaya: “You don’t have to change when you go out,” she said. “If you’re wearing jeans and a T-shirt at home, you just put on your abaya and go out. It’s extremely convenient and comfortable.” In Saudi Arabia, the family is the central intergenerational unit of society, and women are heavily protected. They are not allowed to be alone with any man who is not a member of their family, and even their drivers need to be a family member. Of course, the royal family has 600 members so it is not difficult to find a relative among such an extended family. Outside the family, most of society is segregated: Boys and girls go to separate schools and then, to separate colleges.
Princess Nouf, who shares the same great, great grandfather with her husband, is passionate about being with her family and is happy to have two daughters and one grandson at home with her in the residence. When asked if her grandson was present, the princess picked up her cell phone. No intercom or crystal bell for this modern princess. In a few minutes, 5-year-old Faisal came running in and jumped onto his grandmother’s lap, cuddling with her and then running off to play. Born and educated in Saudi Arabia, the princess has three main interests: cultural outreach to Americans, helping young Saudi women, and caring for her own family.
“I love to be with my family. The girls are always with me. We are all very close, at home and when we travel together. We go skiing as a family. We have been to Jackson Hole [Mountain Resort in Wyoming] and often go to Megève in France. My husband and the children, as they get bigger, go off to the black, more difficult slopes, but I stick to the blue and green slopes,” she explained. “I also love to swim.”
The princess also frequently travels around the United States—New York of course, as well as Los Angles, Houston, Seattle and Hawaii in the summer with her husband. “I like to travel but not day trips, overnights or anything shorter than four days. My husband goes alone on those trips.” Virginia jumped in to add: “Prince Turki and his family always fly on public airlines. That’s always been the policy of the prince.” Their children, ages 33 to 18, live scattered throughout Washington, D.C., near Princeton, New Jersey, London, and back home in Saudi Arabia. Princess Mashail bint Turki is the eldest. She is unmarried and lives with her parents at the Saudi Residence when she is not traveling. She was my luncheon partner once and I was surprised by her candor and fresh attitudes. She was dressed in Western clothes and said that she never wears a veil.
Next is Princess Noura bint Turki, who assists Princess Luluwa bint Faisal (sister to the ambassador) at EffatCollege for girls in Jeddah and is also unmarried. Their eldest son, Prince Faisal bin Turki, is married and lives in London with his wife and young son. Princess Moudi bint Turki is divorced and lives here in the residence with her son, 5-year-old Faisal, who attends RockCreekInternationalSchool and dressed as Batman for Halloween. Prince Abdul Aziz bin Turki is studying in Jeddah. And the youngest son is 18-year-old Prince Saud bin Turki, who is on the soccer team at LawrencevilleSchool in New Jersey.
I wondered who the disciplinarian was in this royal household. “Half and half,” said this mother of six. “Our children are very normal. We’ve had no problems so we didn’t need to be strict.” When asked what she liked best about her husband—the man she married in 1968 through an arranged marriage—her smile widened. “I like everything about him,” she replied. “I admire and love him. He has a good sense of humor and supports me in anything I want to do, particularly in London. That’s very important for me. He is a very good man.”
And on the differences between London and Washington, the princess was also quick to respond. “In London, when we opened the doors, we were in [the neighborhood of] Mayfair. When we open the doors here, we are in the woods,” she said. “London is more cosmopolitan than Washington, and there are so many more Arabs there, mixed in with society, not as separate as here.” So how does this woman who skis but was born in a country of intense heat like Washington in the winter? “I don’t like winter,” she said emphatically. “I was born and live in a hot, sunny country. This is very different, and I especially don’t like the short days and long dark nights. I miss the sunshine.”
Gail Scott is a contributing writer for The Washington Diplomat.